Grad School Update.

Registered for Fall 2013!
- Understanding Markets and Audiences
- Crisis Communications

Summer 2013 is halfway done.

I had a great meeting with my advisor in DC a few weeks back and found I'd be able to get two concentrations rather than just one.
- Media and Public Relations
- Corporate and Non Profit Communications.

I am so thankful that I am able (thus far) to pay for my classes out of pocket, without any student loans. God is so faithful. After Fall 2013, I'll be halfway done with my program already. Isn't that crazy?

I'm learning so much, though talking about it at work probably makes me look dorky (which is fine by me). Implementing SharePoint? Let me tell you all about the Diffusions of Innovation Theory and how we can apply those constructs to our implementation process.

Almost The End Of The Semester!

I am almost done with my first semester of grad school!  Phew.

To do still:
- Continue to edit my Research Brief
- Submit my Research Brief (to two places)
- Meet with my group
- Write my second post this week
- Submit the group project
- Comment on two group projects
- "grade" my group members.

SO CLOSE!

This is my "SO CLOSE" happy face:

(PS - I got my hair trimmed today)

It's been such an adventure, learning to balance school with life again. Good though. Real good.

The summer semester starts mid-May. I'm taking two classes this summer, which will be more challenging. I bought six books for one class (four could go on my Nook!), and no new ones were required for the other.

Back to editing. Paper is due on Tuesday. Praying for a good grade!

JHU, Semester Two.

Registered for my next set of classes. Summer 2013.

Changing Behavior through Communication
Branding and Advertising

Both are online, and they'll start mid-May. I'm a little nervous about taking two classes, working full time, and serving at church. But the Lord is faithful. I've learned a lot this month about balancing things, time management, and the importance of being in His word.

Here's to the rest of this semester and the start of the next one!

Africa And India.

I had another friend over for dinner tonight. Shannon, from the youth group. I made us rice, veggies, and chicken. Yummy.

We talked a lot about life - what she's facing as a senior in high school, what I'm facing as a young adult. Then (somehow) we started talking about India and Africa.

I loved those places. For different reasons.

Africa was about learning to love, learning to serve, learning to give.
India was about learning to trust, learning to depend on God, learning to be a friend.

Africa was cold.
India was very hot and humid.

Africa opened a door to my soul that I didn't even know was closed. A door I had been afraid to open, afraid of what may be behind it. But one look into Tahmee's eyes, one game of soccer with Sofanee, one late-night talk with Brianna, and there was no way I could close that door again.  That door to love.

India was about walking through that door. One foot in front of another, until I prayed at that hotel late at night, until we talked in the candlelight at the hostel, until I laid it all out on the rooftop. I learned to walk... and keep walking.

I don't know what's next. But as long as I keep that door open, and as long as I keep walking through it with the Lord, I know it will be Good.

2012 And 2013.

Oh yeah, 2012 ended. It kind of just...slipped out for me. Mostly because I was at my parent's home, totally sick (as in, sinuses draining, sore throat, cough, etc.) and because my boyfriend was flying across the country to be with his mom, who is even more totally sick (as in, infection to the bone, open heart surgery, 6-bypass, breathing machine, etc.).

But okay, a year in review. The others are doing it:
- I fell in love again.
- I flew to Alabama.
- I broke my leg in three places and had surgery to fix it.
- I moved into my own apartment.
- I got a new job and a raise at work.
- I bought a new car.
- I was accepted to my first and only choice of grad school: Johns Hopkins University.
- I started leading the middle and high school girls at church.
- I laboriously crocheted two stockings.
- Mom and I went to a work conference together.
- Dad bought my a new gun.
- Brad and Jeff both made it back safely from their deployments.
- I won third place (for a sweater) and second place (for a pair of gloves) at the Alaska State Fair (and deposited the prize $8 into my Roth IRA).

Phew. Not bad.

2013:
- Start Grad School
- Get back in shape (along with millions of other people)
- Not compare myself to others
- Read through the Bible
- Be the kind of person I want to be friends with.

Break My Legs.

We Were Fiction - "The Rain"

Please, oh, heavens, soak my body.
Please, break my legs 'til I'm baptized in the
Puddles and streams of Your love.

James 1:2 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds..."

Feel it. Feel the joy, letting it wash over you.

I am mostly an emotional person.  Actually, I am a very emotional person. I wear them right there on my sleeve, all the time.  And I am commanded to consider - to feel - joy when bad things happen.

When my leg is broken and achy.
When I am completely dependent on other people.
When I have taken one shower in three and a half weeks, and countless bucket baths to suffice.

Joy.

Why?

James 1:3 "...because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."

I don't know why I need this level of perseverance. But the Lord knows.

James 1:4 "Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

I really like this song, this song on repeat.  Break my legs, Lord, just so I can rest in Your love. So I can appreciate You. So I can remember being Your daughter. Help me be quiet, turning off the movies and putting down my crocheting needles, and erasing the callouses so I can be open to You. I have nothing to prove, Lord, and everything to lose for You. Break my legs so that I can be dependent on You. Break my legs so that when they are fixed, I can have beautiful feet that bring Your good news.

Describe Three Significant Memories From Your Childhood.

I feel like I've covered some significant childhood memories already, what with my love note to Mikey and all.  But I'll try to think of three new old ones.

- Mom told me to wait, but I started walking down the stairs anyway.  And I don't know what happened - maybe there was a toy in the way.  Or maybe my feet just stumbled.  But somehow, all of a sudden, I was tumbling down the stairs.  And then...I landed at the bottom and the pain hit.  Dad took me to the ER and they took X-Rays before wrapping my four-year-old arm in a bright pink cast.  I had to shower with a plastic bag over my arm, and I couldn't go out to play, but everyone signed my cast. That was my first real injury - the first trip to the ER that I remember.
- Mom and Dad gave me Molly for Christmas when I was in fourth grade. I loved her. That next January, we went to my Grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary.  I took Molly with me. I remember - very specifically - sitting in the hotel room with my Grandma, showing her my doll, sharing how special Molly was and thinking, "Of course Grandma loves Molly!"  And now, I think she loved that moment with me much more than she liked the doll.  I miss her.  I wish I had written her more letters before she passed away.
- One summer, Dad coached my baseball team.  I was awful.  I mean, really really terrible.  I got hit by the ball nearly every time I was up to bat that season, couldn't catch or throw well, but enjoyed hanging out in the dugout and on the field!  That season solidified the fact that I have very poor hand-eye coordination, that I prefer individual sports to team sports, and that I'm a better cheerleader than MVP.

Isaiah 52:7.

"How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring Good News, who proclaim Peace, who bring Good Tidings, who proclaim Salvation, who say to Zion, 'Your God Reigns!!!'"

So excited to work in Kodiak Island again in less than three weeks, with Allen and Paul and Lydia and half of the youth.

Please be in prayer for us:
- for kids to come to the VBS
- for productivity in our service project
- for good weather
- for health, safety, and strong relationships

Old Harbor.

Wed. June 29, 2011
12:00am ish

I’ve been home from the Mission Trip to Old Harbor for roughly… two hours. And even though I was only gone for ten or eleven days, and even though I stayed in Alaska, I feel as if I am reverse culture-shocking.

Laying in my bed, looking at all my stuff kind of makes me feel ill. Why do I need all this? It isn’t as if people in Old Harbor don’t have stuff – because they do – it’s how they view it. To them, it is necessary. A skiff to catch fish. A Honda to get around town. Clothes so you aren’t naked. There seem to be no pretenses because there isn’t room for them. And yet, they allow themselves to take pleasure in those things, enjoying the tools. Using the skiff to view Harbor seals and find sand dollars. Going over the hill on the Honda. Playing dress-up.

It’s also odd, the first few days, to be with different people, people who did not go on the trip, who will not understand what happened, no matter how many times and ways you explain it.



I think I am so tired and confused at this point that nothing makes sense… at all. Everything is loud and annoying and frustrating, so I’m going to bed. Tomorrow I am meeting with my future supervisors to talk salary, benefits, and a possible trip to Disneyland. But oh, what I would give to be back on that skiff, watching the seals, then on that beach, cavorting in the warm sand, playing I Spy with sand dollars.

Falling Leaves.

Emotional Nutcase: (n) one who cannot react to situations appropriately; one who is prone to crying and fits of feeling inadequate

Of all definitions I can have with my name, this is the most recently appropriate. Isn’t that unfortunate? But alas, on K Love today, I heard…

“Fall Apart” by Josh Wilson.

…Now it all seems upside down.
Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel you now more than I did then.
I cannot come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need.
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts:
I find You when I fall apart.
I don’t know how long this will last
I’m praying for the pain to pass.
But maybe this is the best thing
That has ever happened to me.

The mission trip to Old Harbor is coming up. I’m accompanying the youth with two married couples and three or four little kids. And I am excited. This will be my first trip since India, where everything changed. There was a newness on that trip: a new way of relating to God, of knowing Him and hearing from Him. It was… indescribable. This will also be my first time in an Alaska Native Village and I think it will be an interesting and challenging time… from what I hear, at least. One week. We leave in one week, first for a six hour car ride, then a ten hour ferry ride, then a plane trip. Gotta love Alaska travel.

I interviewed at an elementary school in Anchorage. They have no openings but are anticipating some. Waiting game. I do have a (non-teaching) job lined up for the fall. And I’m thinking: do I even WANT to teach? Am I ready for it? Can I handle my own classroom? This job that I’ve been offered, I would learn skills that could better prepare me for a classroom of my own one day – but if I take it, will I ever get my own classroom? Really?

I am nearly done with my hooded crocheted sweater. It’s blue. And cuddly.

I found a brown leaf today on our deck table. It’s JUNE. What’s the deal? We had a party together:





My bike and I went on a wonderful ride together yesterday, about 10 miles. I stopped at a fellow teacher’s house and blew my nose before visiting with them for a few minutes. Bike riding? How did I like for about 10 years without this?! What a time to enjoy God’s creation and empty my mind! It’s like… mobile meditation. Haha. I got my new helmet in the mail and really like it. Incidentally, the new shorts I just bought match it perfectly. I’m like a little bike model.

Call your shrink. Call the National Guard. Call your priest. Call me when you’re over it.

Unexpected happenings of late.

On April 1st:
V, a 4th grader, "Hey, you're fly is down!"
Z, a 3rd grader checks his fly.
V, "Just kidding! April Fool's!"
Z realizes his zipper really IS down, and quickly fixes it.
(I think I'm the only one who noticed and I laughed really hard.)

Life interruptions are God's divine interventions.
Case in point:
- NOT going to South Asia.
- Full-time, year-long sub job at Machetanz.
- Summer plans get a drastic change.

My resume is not as important as my obedience to and relationship with the Lord.
Go to Ninevah. The right way. Not in a whale like Jonah.

SBAs this week. SO MANY job applications. Mom and Dad go on vaca. I'll housesit Lola. Is it housesitting if I am in my own house? Huh.

March, March.

Wow, halfway through March. That means, 2011 is nearly 1/4 of the way done.

Serious bad self-image at the gym lately. What's the DEAL?
Things I like about myself:
- all my scars; they just make me laugh at the legitimacy of them all.
- being able to hike a lot and keep up with the boys.
- not being scared to do most things.
- my hair and eyes.

Chris' birthday is coming up.
The job fair is coming up.
SUMMER is coming up and the days are longer to prove it! Huzzah.

Ghana As You Fly By.

During the week, my mind is totally focussed on my job, working out, and making sure I see my parents and Chris. And GAs. It's not until Thursday or Friday that I realize it's the weekend and I could see people if I wanted to. I don't always want to.

I am learning. A new mentorship with my Pastor's wife. A job where I am daily challenged. Figuring out how to be an adult.
I am teaching. GAs is a blessing. My students are improving in their reading.

My life is full. But I am even more looking forward to the future.

To Someone That Changed My Life.

Dear Tahmee,

You changed my life. Did you know that? Will you ever know that? If I return to your home in South Africa, will you remember me? Will you allow me to hug you?

You were two years old and you had AIDS. You didn't smile, didn't laugh, didn't play until I had been there a few days, consistently smiling at you. Then you... changed. Never the same, from what I saw. How did you change my life? More than anything, you are the one who opened my eyes to the transforming power of love. I now believe that, by golly, love can do anything. Love can change anything. There is more power in love than anything else.

I hope you are happy and healthy. I hope you are adopted one day. But more than anything, I hope that you come to the saving knowledge of Christ so that you can experience His transforming love, too.

Yes, those are my hopes for you.

Sometimes I am caught off guard by how our lives are so different. How you were chosen to be born in Africa, to an ill mother who did not want to take care of you, or who was unable to take care of you. How I was chosen to be born in Alaska. But by the grace of God, our lives still crossed paths.

Beautiful, precious Tahmee.
Love,
Moleesa.

To The Person That Gave Me My Favorite Memory.

Dear Jordan, Hannah, Kyle, Daniel, and in a way, Steve,

So many of my favorite memories took place in India with you. Falling in poop on the way to dinner. Our cancelled flight home. Riding elephants in the rain. Dancing in that one village where they made fun of us. Being arrested. The power outage and sharing our stories. The Hindi Catholic service. "Seester! Seester! You from Amreeka?" Speaking French and Spanish to throw off their trail. The "Sister Discount." Gathering in the evening to share about our days.

But the story I love to tell most - more than any story in my life - is the story of when I wet the bed, and all your reactions to it.

We had stayed up late talking, playing Truth or Dare. And I fell asleep first. That was a mistake. I woke up a few hours later to a SOAKING wet bed, and 4 friends who were out cold, dead asleep. I had to climb over you to get to the bathroom to change. Then, asking each of you what happened. You didn't know what I was talking about.

Love, love.

There are not many people with whom I would be comfortable admitting that I wet the bed. But you -you are family, like it or not. I think I believe that you did not, in fact, pour water in my bed. But if it ever comes out that you did, I would laugh so hard, and still love you terribly with a big piece of my heart.

I miss you guys. A lot. I miss our laughing and singing together in the shower, and how Hannah slept in a sweatshirt every night, even though it was the middle of summer. And how we played Singing Nerts.

But wetting the bed. That was the best. The funniest.

You are the best - the funniest.
Thanks for being in my life, for making that memory MUCH less traumatizing than it could have been.

All My Love,
Melissa

To The Last Person I Kissed.

Ha, hey Chris.
I wonder how many of these letters will be to you by the end of this all.

I joked the other day that I was going to buy red lipstick and wear it on our Valentine's Date, but then people would know if we kissed. Mom said, "You better not be kissing!" Oh, Mom.

By the time my parents were a year and a half into their relationship, they'd already been married for about 8 months. But heaven forbid we kiss! How funny.

13 months. Love, love, love.
Thanks for that. It's special.

Sleep well tonight. Dream big, but not soo big that it keeps you awake all night. Dream happy, not sad or angry.

This could turn quite scandalous in an instant. This is a rather scandalous letter topic to begin with, dear. What am I supposed to say?:
"OH MY GOSH! You are the BEST kisser ever! I melt every time out lips meet." OR
"Eh, you're pretty good... but try some chapstick next time. Your lips are kind of flaky." OR
"I could kiss you everyday and never be sick of it." OR
"Sometimes I am so happy when we kiss that I can't stop smiling; that tends to interrupt the kissing process."

Haha.

Love,
The One Who Wants To Be Your Last First Kiss.

Summer '10.

My friend K posted an overview of her summer, and I began thinking about my own. So, here we go:

Some Highlights (and Lowlights) of Summer 2010:
- Um, hello: Graduation and the following roadtrip. I always forget about that. But it was so nice. Wiffleball. Oregon caves. Driving. My birthday dinner.
- One-year anniversary. :) Thanks, Barbara, for those memories; and Chris. For everything else.
- Rain. Epic amounds of rain. And canoeing on the one nice day.
- Butte Lemonade Stand. Ha.
- Fundue in pretty dresses.
- My new laptop! Happy.
- Sleeping in regularly.
- Virginia. Oh, Virginia. Love/Hate relationship with that week. My people there...
- Sumo Thumb Wrestlers.
- Toy Story 3 and that time we ate at that chicken restaurant that I always thought was shady but was actually really quant. My milkshake was really good. That was the day we went shopping.
- VBS. Oh yeah. I forgot about that, too.

Favorite Part: Those sleepy times when we just talk.

This is the Summer of Being.

Last Few Days.

Thursday
What a blessing-filled night!!
-"I'm so mad I could DANCE!"
-beautiful necklace and bracelet that are already providing assurance. "Have Faith" then... "Just because you have faith doesn't mean it will be easy."
-journal that is waiting to be filled with my words, thoughts, and emotions during some period of the next two years.
-encouragement from women at my church who serve a pivotal role in my life as role-models and mentors.

I am so blessed.


Friday
Then King David said to the whole assembly, “My son Solomon is young and inexperienced. The task is great because this palatial structure is not for man but for the LORD God.” 2 Chronicles 29:1

This task that I am fixing to start… ooh, it is great!

I have been rather selfish lately, concerned with building my own kingdom, wanting my own life and plans to be brought to fruition rather than His. When He showed me this, I felt great remorse and shame.

Who am I that I should claim to be greater, to know more, to be more important than the Most High God? My view of myself was severely disjointed. Praise the LORD that He is faithful still.

His kingdom must be greater. My desire to serve Him must be all encompassing. He must fill every crevice, every nook, every cranny of my life. And if He doesn’t, I will be ineffective.

I am young an inexperienced… the structure I am building is not for man, but for the LORD God. I have His spirit within me that will guide, comfort, and strengthen me. I must trust in that.


Saturday
Three words: Buzz Lightyear Dancing.


Sunday
Tonight is the first night I’ve felt really, deeply sad about the next stage of life, about leaving things, people, memories… everything I know.

Everyone reminds me that “this will be great!” and “the Lord will do great things!” and I know they’re right. I know they are. And I know that His plan is higher and better than mine. He has things in the works that are completely incomprehensible to me right now.

But this afternoon I went to a soccer game and said bye to a friend, one I won’t see for two years. He’ll get married in that time and do who knows what. He’ll probably move somewhere else. Other friends will be juniors and seniors in college when I get back. And that’s hard.

It’s hard realizing that Alaska does not cease to exist when I leave. I am the center of no one’s world (but my own, and far too often is that true). My parents will continue to work; friends will start school next month; winter and snow will come.

And I will not be here. Ha, I feel so emo right now. Funny – odd – how emotions and my view of the world can change so swiftly, so drastically… here today, gone tomorrow.

Chris and I decided to find a verse that encompasses our relationship, one to which we can cling when things are tense from being long distance. No final decisions yet on which verse it will be.

T-25 hours until take off to Virginia.

Update.

Less than one more month. Then, less than 3 and a half months.

I came up with this brilliant idea to redecorate my bedroom… why? I’ll be gone for two years. But alas. I painted, rearranged, and redecorated. It’s quite nice. Maybe I chose to do it because it’s like… closing one bedroom door and opening another. Except this door will be in South Asia.

I bought some more Darjeeling tea and have been making chai. Chris and I had some after his soccer game, then I just made some for Dad before he left for work. It tastes different every time since I’m just doing it from memory. My memory is a mixture of when Steve made it last summer and when he made it for the Go-ers Group.

I start work tomorrow. It has been SO nice to sleep in every morning, generally until 9:30am or 10:00am. But Mom and I report tomorrow around 7:30am. I will dress professionally, since there is a new superintendent and I have high hopes of being hired by the district in two years. Who knows if this dude will still be here, or if I will want to be here, but we’ll see.

“We’ll see.” That’s such an odd phrase. Growing up, my parents said it to me when they really wanted to say no to something I asked but didn’t quite want to crush my dreams. Ha. Now, I guess I say it because I really don’t know what’s going to happen. Which is exciting and epic and fantastic and so scary that I don’t know what to do. Besides that whole walk-by-faith thing.

Ha.

This has been a good week: painting, hiking in the fog, inventing horror stories, crocheting, midnight premieres, lunch at V-Ho, decorating my room. Mom and I are hanging out tonight. I feel as if I have not seen her in FOREVER.

I’m realizing more and more how I will miss my parents when I move. And not just my parents, or “my people” here, but… Alaska and life here. I have not seen the sun in WEEKS. (But really, I won’t miss that. I like the sun.) And at the same time, I’m realizing more and more how excited I am about the next step. Bright colored clothes contrasted with dirty buildings. Smells of spices and food wafting from street vendors. Chai on the streets. A flat with a girl I don’t know. Yet.

I want to learn to dance, to hang out with school children, to impact something bigger than myself. This is the time to do that. Twenty-two years old and not really tied down to anything...

Camping this weekend, for the 4th of July. When I typed “July” I thought “Whoo-lie” in my mind. The Spanish version of July? Ha. Seward with Han and Jade. Last time I was there was with Emily, and we bought Crab Hats. Oh, that was fun.

Summer In Alaska.

Me and Cody during our Butte picnic. We forged our own path through the brush, making the Tuesday Night Preposition Club trail. Chris was there too. It as windy on top and we got dirt everywhere. Even in our mouths. Also, we were shot at, almost attacked by a bear, and met some Israeli gunmen.



Camping at Rolly Lake with Janelle, Megan, and Sydni. Our reunion campout, minus Maria. Except this time, we were able to start a fire, did NOT have veggie dogs, and stayed dry. We talked long into the night, when Syd finally showed up. We ate a whole bag of chips and had s'mores for breakfast. The creepy campers nearby wanted to kill us.



Me and Hannie, playing "Let's Hide!" in Palmer. Jade was going to the bathroom. This game is only fun if you are part of the hiding team. This round, we hid in the Palmer garden. Then, though we ordered it, a pizza was NOT delivered to the Palmer Public Library sign for us. How rude. We waited for over an hour.