Scared.

I am honestly very worried about this summer.

I need $800 in a week for my trip.
EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS.
IN A WEEK.

And, okay. I trust God. However.
Eight hundred dollars in a week.
That's huge.

I believe God can do it. In my mind at least.
But right now, I'm having a hard time believing it in my heart.

Beauty.

I love that God loves looking at me...
At both my physical and my internal beauty.

I like that the God of the Universe could look at ANYTHING and call it beautiful... but He chooses to call ME beautiful. He is enthralled and captivated by my beauty.

Shaun and I won an award tonight for "Cutest RA Couple".



I love that no matter how much Shaun thinks I am pretty, it does not even come CLOSE to how beautiful God thinks I am.

The Message, Psalm 126

"It seemed like a dream, too good to be true,
when God returned to Zion's exiles.
We laughed, we sang,
we couldn't believe our good fortune.
We were the talk of the nations -
'God was wonderful to them!'
God was wonderful to us;
We were one happy people.

And now, God, do it again -
bring rains to our drought-stricken lives
So those who planted their crops in despair
will shout hurrahs at the harvest,
So those who went off with heavy hearts
will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing."

The Message, Luke 6: 22-23, 26.

"Count yourself blessed every time someone cuts you down or throws you out, every time someone smears or blackens your name to discredit Me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and that that person is uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens - skip like a lamb, if you like! - for even though they don't like it, I do... and all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company; My preachers and witnesses have always been treated like this ... There's trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others, saying what flatters them, doing what indulges them. Popularity contests are not truth contests - look how many scoundrel preachers were approved by your ancestors! YOUR TASK IS TO BE TRUE, NOT POPULAR."

Oh, how true for right now...

Missing.

So, I miss people.
I miss Hannah. And Kristina and Jade.
And Tony.
And the mafia workers.

I miss Alaska... and the mountains and the V-Ho and the memories. I miss being able to do outside stuff, like hiking and fishing and the like.

Father I Never Had

One weekend, in high school, there was a youth conference in North Pole, Alaska. It was in the winter, because I remember playing barefoot basketball outside in the cold. I was a captain. The game lasted about 3 minutes.

But anywho. At the conference, a singer was there named Joel Engle. He sang one song called "The Father I Never Had." It's about how his Dad walked out on him when he was a month old, and how he finally turned to God to be the Father he never had. I remember him talking about his daughter - how he prays that God will be the Dad she needs even when he can't be.

Fast forward a few years.

I walk into chapel this morning, and grab an announcement sheet like always. And at the top, where they say what chapel is about, it says, "JOEL ENGLE". And oh, gosh. I got so excited! I knew him!

Well, kind of.

So Joel Engle sings in chapel today. And he sings the "Father I Never Had" song. So after chapel, he was standing down front talking to some people, and I walk up. I shake his hand, and tell him about seeing him in Alaska and how that song made a lasting impression on me. And he was just like, "Thanks." That's all. But it was still cool.

Cool that a guy that I saw in Alaska graduated from my college and came back to do a concert. Small world, huh?

Commitment.

I don't like it when people say they are going to do something, then they don't do it. It bugs me. If you say you are going to do something, do it. If you can't commit, don't say anything.

That's all.