Flying Into Daybreak.

Sometimes, I'm super inconsiderate.

And it's sad. And I feel dumb afterwards.

Like, I have these grand notions about how something will go. Then it doesn't go that way. And I'm left like an idiot.

And it's hard.

God's Glory Endures Forever.

God is amazing.

I'm not even kidding.

He's so personal to me - like, I know Him, and He knows me, and He loves me, and I love Him (though not as much as I should...I need to work on that). But at the same time, He makes lightening strike down from the heavens.

Could Buddha do that? What about Muhammed? Moses? No. But can God? Yes. It's fantastic.

I really realized that tonight. At the Saturday in the Park. Charlie Hall was up there playing, and as he was rocking out, I could see flashes of lightning all around us. And...it was so powerful...just to be worshiping God while He was doing all this amazing nature stuff. And I could hear the thunder. And the wind was blowing, and it's like, God was just THERE. In spirit, in love, in POWER.

And I think that sometimes, I forget that God is powerful. I mean, I know He is, but I guess I get so caught up in Him being forgiving and loving (which He totally IS) that I just don't realize that He makes lightning, and causes us to hear thunder. He is the origin of all life, the Creator of gravity. He spoke the mountains (though there aren't any here in Oklahoma) into being. He just told the stars to BE and they were, and are to this day.

And - He wants me to know Him. He wants me to love Him. He wants me to be His friend. He's called me to be His daughter...I am the daughter of not just A king, but THE King.

To think that He loves that much - so much He gave me His Son - is just...it's causing me to have a loss for words. And that doesn't happen very often. But wow. God doesn't just HAVE love, He IS love. God's all about love and forgiveness and new beginnings with Him. And no matter how many times I mess up, God's still there. And He's just like, "Hey, Melissa, try it again. One more time. Don't worry. You're living freely with Me. I won't stop loving you if you mess up again." And God doesn't just say that and not mean. God means it. A lot. Like, with His whole being.

And I think that people need to realize that. I need to realize that. God loves us soo amazingly much. God loves ME soo amazingly much. And God loves YOU soo amazingly much. So much that He would rather turn His back on His Son than spend eternity without you.

God is forever.

4-20-2006.

I just read a post I wrote on April 20, 2006.

And it was good. The end of it, I mean. Like, how awesome that I wrote that THEN, and it applies to me now?

God is amazing.

Gah.

I think I'm obbsessed. (did I spell that right?)

But I don't know if it's a bad thing. I think it is though.

Darn it.

Scary.

Things are gonna change. I know, I know, it's like "DUH!"

But still.

My friends that have never had boyfriends, could get one. I'm going to know people that other people don't know. I'm going to have experiences that no one can comprehend, no matter how well I explain it. My relationships are going to change, my friendships, my life, my everything.

And it's....weird.

Like, I have a facebook now, and I'm seeing things that I don't know if I want to know, because for some reason, it's really important. And I don't like that it's important, but it is. It makes me think that somethings that I want, I REALLY want. But at the same time, I don't know what I want. Because I may think I want something and then come to find out, it's the opposite of what I actually want. And that scares me for some reason.

And then....

Yeah.

Inside Jokes And Random Stuff.

Move-In Day tomorrow. The dorms open in about 15 hours. Whoa.

I thought of a bunch of random inside jokes today.

Singing like Angelina Jolie.
Hitler.
12:23.
Paula's interpretive dance.
Rock the Boat.
My truck blowing up.
Creepy Corrie.
Grabbing Maria's hand during The Fog.
Maria freaking out from seeing a spider.
Being the Official Acteens Spider Killer.
Being Ms. Mindy's favorite.
Saying "Hey, so..."
Leki Leki.
Butt floss.
Peeing in caves.
Jesus Is Better Than Chedder.
"Ooh, ooh, I love that band! What songs do they sing?"
Ha - getting almost kicked out of the PAC.

Ah, darn. We never bought me a fridge for my dorm.

My Dad and I have completely different tastes on what to watch on T.V. Man, if we had cable at home, we would argue all the time.

Oh, but how sweet. He just put it on the Disney chanel for me. :)

Various Thoughts.

My Dad is more excited than I am.

It's actually kind of annoying. Like, all we do is drive around campus. Okay, not really. But still. We take all these back roads, and it's just...

I don't know. I mean, I don't know how I feel about this, this whole going to college thing. I think I'm ready to be away from my parents, for a while at least. It seems like I'm walking on egg-shells with them, like everything I say and do will set off a bomb in them or something. And I'm sure that's not true. But I'm afraid my mom will start crying at any minute, and my Dad will want to stay here forever and take pictures and talk to everyone.

For once, I want this to be MY thing. I know I'll need my parents' support, and yes, their financial assistance.

But I was talking to Peppin some time ago, and he was like "I'm excited to go to college...it means for once that you aren't your parents' kid. You're your own person." And I've been thinking about that a bit lately. Like, for the first time ever, I won't be known as "Officer Krauss' daughter" or "Patti from the Purchasing Department's daughter" or "Brad's little sister" or "Jeff Krauss' little sister". Which is good. I mean, I'll miss them. I'll miss telling my mom everything about what happened during the day, the funny things that I talked about at lunch. I'll miss my Dad's random singing (off-key :D) and how he just comes up with theses random thoughts. I'll miss talking to Brad, about random things and college, though I guess I'll still be able to. And Jeff...I'll miss hearing about everything going on with he and Kayla, or everything that's NOT going on, I guess.

I mean, I'm shaped by the people I spend time with. And I know college will change me. But it will be interesting to see how.

But I talked with Megan and Maria about how Thomas is different this summer than last summer, after a semester at college. And I told them that if I am different - way different, in a bad way - than I am now, I want them to call me out on it. And I really REALLY hope they do.

I'm going to miss them. How Maria seems so tomboyish, but is actually a big flirt. How Megan is good at running, but doesn't like it. I'll miss how we would just be like "hey, do you wanna do something today?" And how Maria would tease me about the truck, and how I'd tease her about Ryne and that other kid. And how we talked about guys - me and Corrie, and Maria and Titus, and Megan was like "I wish I had a guy story..." and I said, "NO YOU DON'T!" Ha - there was the time Maria saw a spider and jumped, screaming, and hid behind me. Or when we were in Hawaii and Megan climed the tree (with the help of our boosts). I'll miss them.

And of course, Jade and Kristina and Hannah. That's a given.

Cody and Chris were right, by the way. It's Barq's Root Beer. With a "Q" not a "G". And it's definately not "Barge's" like I always pronounced it. Meh. You win some, you lose some.