Say Yeah

If you wanna scream, say YEAH!!!!!!!!!

I don't get people sometimes, myself included. I mean, why, in the middle of the night in November, when it is roughly -20 degrees outside, would someone break into the bus barn and vandalize 47 buses? They slashed tires, cut wires, broke mirrors...WHY? Because they didn't want to go to school? GROW UP! School goes by super fast anyway. So now, before anyone can ride the buses again, they are checking every single tire on every single bus in case they are messed up, they have to climb under every single bus to make sure the brake lights, turn signals, etc. are all working, fix a bunch of mirrors, all that stuff. People need to grow up.

I need to grow up.

I was talking to God last night and thinking and praying about stuff. It's so weird because I have this friend, Nichol, who is really nice, and she has an awesome realtionship with God, but her relationship with Him is completely different than my relationship with Him. I know that she and I are totally different people, but God is the same god for both of us.

It's like, I'm excited to go to Africa as a missionary, but at the same time, I don't think I can do it. How am I supposed to witness to people there if I can't even do it here? I feel like such a hypocrite sometimes. I'll talk about God, how much I love Him, then what I say or do with other people will comopletely contradict that.

Pastor Tom's message on Sunday was good. It was about Truth, God's truth, and Satan's lies. Then I was studying Jeremiah last night, and it was about a battle that was coming with the Egyptians and some other people, and I was thinking, and God showed me that I'm in a spiritual battle right now and I need to decide whose side I'm on. For reals. Because Satan is real, but so is God.

Then it's like I don't talk to people, really, and like no one knows the real me. Then I wonder if I even know the real me. Is the real me the me when I'm silent at school, or by myself in my room, or when I'm eating dinner with my family? Then I wonder about how God sees me. I know He is enamored by my beauty, it's in Psalm somewhere, but other than that...

So the other night, on Nov. 25th, actually, I was talking to God and I was like, "Wow, You and the angels must be sooo stoked! Only one month til Jesus' birthday! Are You planning Him a surprise party? It'd be super cool to throw You a surprise party! Wait, You are all-knowing, so it wouldn't work...." And then I started laughing.



New favorite song:

"Can I Sit By You" Lyrics
Copyright 2005 three cHord wonder (ASCAP)

I feel like a life-raft tossing in the sea looking for some answers and hoping I agree, Maybe You could tell me what’s gonna happen soon, but even if You’re silent I will follow You

Can I sit by You, I don’t care what we do, I just want to hold Your Hand, I only want to be with You,Can I sit by You, I’m so in awe of You, please may I kiss Your Hand, I only want to be with You.

I feel like a victim of a life where all went wrong, I’m still trying to catch my breath again and find where I belong. I fee tired and neglected, a broken jar of clay, and though it feels like You’re ignoring me, I am gonna stay.

I feel like You’ve taken almost everything I love and cast it in a lake of fire burning it all up. The pain I’m feeling right now is overwhelming me and though the world tells me to curse You, I still believe.