From Tuesday: A Tuesday Tribute.

I just returned home after coffee with a friend I hadn't seen or spoken to much in about 6 months. It was good - and it's funny how God uses my own words (His words spoken through me) to speak to me.



Melinda:

I appreciate your willingness to serve God, your desire to be used by Him, regardless of where He wants you to go. I value you: You clearly just want to follow Him. When you were deterred from Journeyman, you lost a lot of steam, but you haven't lost all hope. You have goals and dreams: reach for them. Move in that direction.

God has you waiting for a reason. Look for that reason. Allow this time to prepare you.

What you are doing now will prepare you. I promise. You are loving people, working with people, serving people, becoming more you. No matter what your future holds, you will be prepared because you are becoming more Christ-like.

I'm proud of you, proud to call you friend.

Thank you, that on my birthday in 2008, you were there. Thanks for going to the movies with me, ordering pizza with me, making crowns with me. Thanks. That really meant a lot to me. I felt like everyone had left, but they hadn't. You were still there.

Did I ever tell you how much I appreciated that? Because I really did.

80s Night Through The Years.

Freshman Year's 80s Night

Sophomore Year's 80s Night

Junior Year's 80s Night


Oh, how some things never change... And yet, it's like everything changes.
I like to at least THINK that I'm older and prettier now... or at least better at putting on make-up and doing my hair... but maybe not.

Love Can Take It.

Ha. I like my neighbor. We laughed for a long time about something completely wrong that should not have been funny... but it made us both feel a lot better about life and where the world is heading.

I know who I'm holding onto, and His name is not Obama.

His name is Yahweh, Jehovah, God-of-the-Angel-Armies, my Provider and my Support. He is my Friend, my Lord, my Savior, my Oxygen. He is my Strength, my Joy, my Hope. He is my All in All, my River of Life, my Love. He is all that is Beautiful in my Life. I turn to Him for wisdom and assurance, for romance and a sense of belonging. I close my eyes and feel Him lovingly stroking my face, rubbing my feet, waiting to pour out peace, hope, and love on me. He is dependable. He is trustworthy.

Oh, let the world crash
Love can take it
Oh, let the world come crashing down
Oh, let the world crash
Love can take it
Love can take a little
Love can give a little more

True Story.

Yesterday while working at the desk in the morning, I decided to toast some English Muffins and smother them with peanut butter and honey. So I popped them into the toaster, and turned it up to 5 because I like my toast-y things very well done.

I went and put the key to the kitchen away, and when I got back, there was a little bit of smoke coming out of the toaster. I thought, "Well, that isn't good. I guess my toast is done! Good thing the fire alarms didn't go off..." and right then, the fire alarms go off.

No joke.

It's 9:15am on a Saturday, the weekend after one of the busiest weeks in Kerr History, and I set off the fire alarms. I ran over to the board and turned it off, but then like 10 seconds later, it went off again. So I called Campus Safety and they came over to turn it off.

But meanwhile, all the girls start heading down to the lobby, looking really groggy and confused. I had to tell them that it was my fault - I burned my English Muffin - and they were like, "Are you kidding me?"

It was so embarrassing. Oh my word. Really really funny, but embarrassing. I know that if I had still been in bed, I would have been SO mad... but most of the girls just laughed it off, thank goodness.

So... yeah. I set off the fire alarm. I'm just that hott.

Trick Or Treat.

It's been one week.

Really? Is that all? Only one week since I last found time to breathe and update this thing? One week? It feels like a million. Every day seems longer than the last. Every hour drags on until I don't know where the time went.

Kerr Trick or Treat is tonight. Every waking moment of the last 5 or 6 days has been spent decorating my hall, occasionally by myself, sometimes with other girls, and once with Shaun. It's so tiring trying to get it to look right. And it's frustrating that some girls don't help at all. I just want to sleep. For a long time. And that is NOT a cry for help.

Sure, it will be worth it when all the kids come and their faces are super excited. Of course it will be worth it. But right now? I'm not feeling it.

They say I'm futuristic, and that my thoughts and dreams of the future are what propel me onwards to do good work. And yet... right now... I'm not futuristic. I'm just sleepy. Two more classes, then Trick or Treat, then work for 3 hours.

Praise Jesus that I don't have science tomorrow morning. What a blessing. I can't wait until tonight, when I can happily crawl into my bed and escape into dreamland.

Speaking of dreamland, I had a weird dream last night. Part of it consisted of my parents and I and a random kid (who was my younger brother??) driving down a road here in Shawnee and stopping at a random hotel. We moved all of our stuff (like 2 bags) into the hotel room, which was at the end of a hall, across from stairs leading to the next level up, and next to a bar/dance room. The room had a bed, a mattress on the floor, and a pile of blankets. We had been evicted from our house and had to move into this hotel. It was so weird. I remember being really sad, but determined.

Hard Week.

Quite the week, I'd say, since last Saturday. Typing is hard, but I'll get to that.

Friday the 10th was mine and Shaun's two year anniversary (minus the week or so that we were apart). Our date was on Saturday. I had to plan it, since it's an "even" year, which is a new rule that Shaun made up this year. Lame. Anyway, I reserved this "private campfire" which turned out to be not private at all. So instead, we went to Shawnee Lake and hung out there. And we ate dinner at IHOP. Ha. IHOP. Like iHOP. Like a frog that plays music from your iPod.

Shaun preached in church on Sunday about forgiveness, and I've been thinking about it a lot since then. That night, there was a chili cook-off at church. Shaun and I made dessert together, making it up as we went and it turned out really good. We melted peanut butter and chocolate together, rolled marshmallows in it, then rolled the marshmellows in graham cracker crumbs. So good.

Sunday night, I spent almost 4 hours hanging out on my hall, just talking to my girls about the most random stuff. They are so funny and such a blessing to me. Ridiculous how much I love them.

Monday... oh, Monday. I got a B on my science test that I took last Friday. I had a date with my boss after I got off work at 2. We talked about lots of random stuff (seems to be a theme with me) and drank coffee at Starbucks (BTW - pumpkin lattes are SO good. My favorite). I shared some of my concerns and she listened, so that was good.

Also - random - I found out that my Grandma (and whole family, actually) knows the grandmother of a girl on my hall. They've been friends for a long time.

I had a flag football game, and while hiking the ball and guarding the line, a girl plowed me over. I landed with my hands flexed all the way back, with more weight on my right wrist than my left one. It knocked the breath out of me and I couldn't move my hands. I walked off the field, unable to breathe and with my wrists in excrutiating pain, like worse than I've ever experienced physically in my life. I was shaking, couldn't hold my hands still, and my right wrist was already swelling by the time I reached the sidelines. After the game, Shaun and I went to the Emergency Room, conveniently located right across the street.

We waited for about 3 hours, then they took X-Rays. And my right wrist isn't broken, but was dislocated. It popped back in on it's own, which was good. They gave me a splint to wear, and some pain medicine. And they gave me some codeine while I was still at the hospital, and THAT was fun...

All of my muscles turned to mush when it kicked in. Shaun was rubbing my back, just laughing because there was no tension whatsoever. My words got really sloppy and I was word vomiting. And then I got really sleepy.

Today, I couldn't take very good notes in class, but I got an A on last week's Human Development exam and an A on my math exam (good thing we could use that index card on it). The RAs had dinner together at Robb's then made signs and went to the volleyball game against St. Greg's. Fun stuff.

It rained this evening. Still 80 during the day.
I want FALL.

Hall.

Well, my girls are moved in. Most of them, anyway. I have three more or so that may show up. And I love them! They are all so beautiful and sweet. I can't wait to get to know them better.

I think we are going to have a painting party this weekend to paint canvasses to hang in the hall. It would be fun. Ever since we made Jade's present, I've had a hankering for painting. Call me crazy... but it's fun.

Say Okay.

I met a beautiful old woman today who graduated from OBU in 1944. She now serves on the Board of Directors or something like that, and is staying in the guest suite here in Kerr.

She asked where I was from, then told me a story about her husband going bear hunting in Kotzebue, Alaska in the 1970s, and how she gave him a check to give to the pastor of a Southern Baptist Church just so that he would attend a church service. The Pastor told him that he was the first hunter to ever go to church there.

I love random little meeting people moments like this. I love when you meet someone, and are just like, "Oh, hey, we have a little connection here."

My new girls move in tomorrow. I've realized that I haven't been calling them My Girls, like I did last year. My heart is a little bit hardened right now. I'm not really feeling this whole "RA" thing. But... it's coming. In less than 7 hours I will be waking up to get ready to welcome my girls. Crazy.

I want to leave a mark on their lives. I want it to matter that I am here. I don't want to just drift through this year, not really caring. Because I need to care. I need to be here for them. I need to do my job, putting my heart into it. My girls deserve that, if nothing else. I want them to know that I love them, even though I don't know them yet. I need a heart change.

And I need sleep. Story of my life.

Tired.

RA training is pretty much over, and in two days, the new little freshmen move in. It's... weird. Exciting? We're getting there.

I un-bunked my beds by myself today. I was actually really proud. Now I need to take some boxes to the attic... but it scares me. I've been putting it off since Monday. I need to get them up there by Friday night. That means I have one more day. Gosh. I'll go do it now. Scary. I'll go when I'm done with this.

I bought my textbooks today. And I am so excited about my classes now! I was looking at my texts, and they look so interesting and fun! One of my books is full of just kids songs, songs to sing with my students when I am a teacher. I think they are so great. I laid in my room, just singing the songs to myself, until Emily came in and we went to dinner.

I hung up my Africa map and my Labyrinth movie poster today.

I feel very... I don't even know.
I'm tired. Emotionally, especially, but also physically. Very tired physically. I just want to sleep all the time. I run my 5K in a little over a month, and I have pretty much stopped running completely. It's bad. But I'm so tired.

Friends come soon, then parents. Yay.

Oh My Gosh! An Empty Chair!

Just got back from RA retreat.

We had two hours of free time one afternoon, so Cari and I went for a run that turned into a walk after a short period of time. And we just talked and walked for two hours. It was fantastic. We had a really good conversation. And it makes me excited to be working with her again. We didn't just talk about superficial stuff, but we discussed relationships, and God, and our families, and trips we went on this summer.

It makes me realize how much the other RAs matter in my life. They are the ones that understand what it's like when residents are crap, when life is busy overwhelming, when everyone comes to you all the time and you just need to talk. They understand. And I like that.

I mean, I know other people understand, too. People will always act like crap, life will always be busy overwhelming, and people will always need to just talk.

So I don't know. But I like it.

Macking At The Stop Light.

So, Bethany and I went to Mazzio's tonight for pizza.

After we left, we were stopped at a red light, and I glanced over just in time to see the guy and the girl in the truck next to us TOTALLY kiss.

It was SO funny.

They looked over, and Bethany and I started laughing, and the guy put his hand up to shield his face so we didn't see him, and they were both obviously embarassed. Then he looked over again, and both B and I give him a thumbs up, and he waved and laughed, and then the light turned green and we drove away, into the sunset, completely cracking up.

It made my night THAT much more amazing.

The Message, Luke 6: 22-23, 26.

"Count yourself blessed every time someone cuts you down or throws you out, every time someone smears or blackens your name to discredit Me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and that that person is uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens - skip like a lamb, if you like! - for even though they don't like it, I do... and all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company; My preachers and witnesses have always been treated like this ... There's trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others, saying what flatters them, doing what indulges them. Popularity contests are not truth contests - look how many scoundrel preachers were approved by your ancestors! YOUR TASK IS TO BE TRUE, NOT POPULAR."

Oh, how true for right now...

Dove.

So, I was lying on my bed, pretending to study, and eating Dark Chocolate Dove Chocolates. I love Dove. I love the sayings in them.

So, I unwrapped my Dove, popped it in my mouth, and looked at the saying on it. It said, "Find your passion." And I thought, wow, Hmm... what is my passion?

1. Teaching - I love it. I love seeing the look of understanding. Tonight, at AWANAS, I was helping a girl named Kelsey, and I asked her when she asked Jesus into her heart, and she was like, "What does that mean?" So I explained it to her - that she is a sinner, and the Jesus died on the cross to save her, and that if she just asks she could spend forever with him. And I saw that look of understanding. She said, "Oh! I didn't know I could do that!" So I led her in a prayer to accept Jesus - right there in the basement of Calvary Baptist Church. Later, I was sitting with her during story time, and Amanda mentioned how if the kids wanted to ask Jesus into their hearts, they could talk to one of us leaders. Kelsey looked at me and smiled, like, "I did that today!" It was cool.
2. Ministering to people - Mission Center, mission trips, my girls... I love it. I'm so excited for Mission Center this Friday. It seems like it's been forever. And this summer...I can't wait. I'm so exicted to be a dorm mom in an orphanage!
3. Encouraging people - I love writing notes for people, drawing pictures, etc. So much fun. Next month, I am planning an encouraging note night for my girls to make cards and write letters to teachers who have impacted their lives. I'm excited.

My next Dove saying was "Live your dreams." And I thought, "Wow... that's cool that that came right after 'Find your passion.' How am I living my dreams?"

1. Being an RA - I wanted to do this since I decided to come to OBU, and probably before that even. And I love my job. It's hard sometimes, when girls don't come to events I plan, when I have a lot on my plate to do, when I'm just tired... but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
2. Going to Africa - or getting ready to go, I suppose. Exactly three months from THIS DAY I will be on my way to Africa. Holy cow. THREE MONTHS. So excited.
3. Going to college to be a teacher - When I was like 8, I had a Minnie Mouse book where I could draw pictures and answer questions. And one of the things was, "Describe what you want to be when you grow up." And I said that I want to be a teacher. :)

I think I'm going to put these in The Book for my F.H.
I wonder what his passions are... I wonder how he is living his dreams now. I wonder what passions we'll develop together and I wonder how we will live our dreams...

The Peanut Butter to my Jelly and I had a fun conversation in the car on the way back from the mall about... well, about our F.H.'s. And about wedding nights, and making out in the kitchen. I love how it isn't awkward.

My Stomach Is In Knots.

First week of classes. It's been a hard one.

Overwhelming, to say the least, but all of the WMU RAs, and Jessica, have been feeling it, too. Seems like all I've done this week is go to class, do homework, talk to girls on my hall, and sleep. With some eating and showering in there, and a workout or two.

And right now...I feel like crying.

I just feel so... so... so in over my head.
I mean, I have 16 credits, plus I am an RA, plus I am co-chairing Mission Center, plus I have a life and I want to work out, plus I have homework, work, friends, and I want time to just RELAX and be by myself. But that will be a rare occurence this semester.

What ever. I feel like I'm so over it.
But I can't be.

And it's like... everything has to be on everyone else's schedule. Meetings for Mission Center... the interview... even hanging out with my boyfriend.

For once, I want to dictate something.

I'm Coming Home.

Mm... my girls are coming back.
I love it. I love seeing them and hearing them and... ah. I love it.

It's like... THIS is it. This is the reason I am here. I can't believe I had to think so much about being an RA next year.

It just seems like this is...this is what I'm here for. I am here to be an RA. I mean, that isn't my ultimate reason for being here, but it's part of it. If I wasn't in this position, I don't know what I would do. I can't imagine not being an RA now.

My girls are coming back.
Yay.

The Older I Get...

This weekend is much appreciated. You have no idea.
It's been a freakishly long week.

I had what could have been a really awkward conversation today but it wasn't.

Being an RA is hard. It's hard not to be involved emotionally in conflicts and such. Especially when you have good advice and they don't take it.

12 Days
12 Days
12 Days

Phew.

12 Days

I can't wait to walk out of security and see my Mom.
I'm going to call her right now.
Yay. I love my mom.
The older I get, the more I appreciate her.
At my meeting with Jessica today, she asked what my favorite thing about myself was. And I seriously could NOT come up with anything. At all. I couldn't think of my favorite thing about myself...or anything I liked about myself at all. Then she asked me what my favorite thing about my Mom was and that was so easy. I love how my Mom is so giving and loving. I love how she cares about my day, how she says that when I go to school, one of the things she misses most is how I can't tell her everything about my day. I love how she balances out my Dad and how she just LOVES.

Those are my favorite things about my Mom.

But what ARE my favorite things about myself?

Short.

So, over 2 weeks since my last post.

RA Workshop went well. I learned a lot, and am feeling okay about this whole being an RA thing now.
Yesterday was move in day, and I already love my girls. They are all so different...it's be interesting to see how it all works out.

It rained a lot today - the streets were literally flooding. It was scary driving to church this morning. Shaun worked night security, so he had been up since like 8:00 Saturday morning until 7:00 Sunday morning. We ended up skipping Sunday School and he slept through most of the church service. Kind of funny.

I worked my first RA shift at the front desk today. It was...uneventful.

WOO!!!

I'm going to be an R.A. next semester!!!

Am I excited?
JUST A LITTLE!