Love And Marriage.

The last three weeks have been a whirlwind. A whirlwind, I tell you. Like a dream.

August 16: After a delicious pizza dinner at a restaurant we've been hankering to try, after making me hike a mountain in a dress, Allen proposed. I said yes. Jade was there to capture it on film, adding to the joyous moment and fun.

August 18: We picked a date - January 10 - and the planning began. Colors, "vibe," flowers, decorations, Save the Dates, bridesmaids and groomsmen...

August 25: Realize we won't have anywhere to live after getting married (except Mom and Dad's basement).

August 28: Tour an apartment. Bottom floor. No thanks.

August 29: Tour another apartment. Top floor. Two bedrooms. Within our price range. Perfect, we'll take it.

September 3: Pay deposit and sign lease for our first apartment.

And in between: Addressing and mailing Save the Dates. Pinning. Celebrating. Laughing. Anticipating. Planning.
__________________________

This man - my best friend - will be my husband in 4 months and 1 week.  My late night talks, early morning coffee, fill the car with gas, adventuring, loving, passionate and compassionate husband.

But I am also reminded of Isaiah 54:5 "For your Maker is your Husband, the Lord of hosts is His name. The Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer. The God of the whole earth, He is called."

Allen will be my husband. But only my "Til Death Do Us Part" husband. The Lord is my forever husband. Allen will not be able to meet all of my needs, fulfill all of my desires, whisper answers to the longings of my heart. But the Lord will. He will indeed.

I am so excited to see how the Lord uses us together. In our church. In our apartment building. In our jobs. In the world. In Africa. In a hut. Hugging those small children who have stolen both of our hearts and are holding them ransom. I am so excited to see how we - together - will point others back to Him.

We start our pre-marital counseling with Pastor Tom in October. While I'm nervous - why? - I'm excited to continue to learn more about Allen and more about myself. The books we've been reading together have been wonderful in growing our relationship; I know this will be too.
__________________________

In Titus 2, older women are commanded to teach the younger women how to love their husbands. I praise God for my mama, who teaches me how to love my husband through the way she loves my daddy.

I am excited and humbled for the opportunity to teach my girls how to do the same. 

Scariest Things.

The scariest thing about the idea of getting married one day? 

The knowledge that I will, at one point, disappoint the man I marry. 

Knowing that I will hurt him. 

Knowing that I don't have the strength to put his needs before mine everyday for the rest of my life. 

Knowing that he will do the same.

The best part? 

Knowing that the Lord will use us and strengthen us daily, if we allow Him.

I'm excited to see what the Lord has for this man and I in the next few months and (Lord willing, years).

24 In Review.

I've been thinking about this post: 24 Things That Happened While I Was 24.

1. I broke my leg. In three places. On an island. And had to wait two weeks before I could have very invasive surgery to get it fixed. That surgery included inserting a metal rod into my tibia, placing about 5 screws in my leg, and being in various casts for three months.

2. I applied to Johns Hopkins. And was accepted.
3. I started and finished my first class. And got an A. And now I'm taking two more and I love them.
4. Two of my favorite bosses of all time left the District. And we got two replacements. The Lord is teaching me to love them.
5. The Lord gave me a "Front Row Seat" to the work He is doing in the lives of my middle through college-age girls at church. And, as this blog reminded me, I am so not needed in that.

6. I won $8.00 for my crocheted creations at the Alaska State Fair! Ha. And I took a pottery class.

7. I write a weekly newsletter and this year, it went National. It is now received by four or five different states.
8. I learned to be dependent on people for everything. Even going to the bathroom and bathing.
9. I lived on my own. And I loved it.
10. I moved back home. And I loved it.
11. I learned that there is a time for everything.
12. I've made substantial progress in paying off my Jeep.
13. I made the decision to honor God with my money (and have been reading this book to help).
14. Allen and I celebrated our one-year dating anniversary. And I was constantly challenged by his selflessness, his compassion, and his silliness.

15. I planned and executed a conference for 100+ staff members in the school district.
16. I started memorizing James (and am about 4/5 of the way through!).
17. I cut off all my hair! And I don't think I'll ever go back to long hair. And I was told I look like Anne Hathaway and Julia Roberts, circa "Hook."
18. I flew to Arizona and surprised my Grandpa with a visit. I hadn't seen him in about two years.

19. We celebrated the third annual Lemonade Stand on the Butte.

20. I worked as a model. By that, I mean I posed for some pictures for my friend Jade. Through that experience, I learned I am more business-professional than whimsy.

21. Our church finished the new sanctuary and I helped move chairs into it.
22. I learned the importance of just loving on people. And I felt the opposition that comes from that.
23. My momma became more than a momma. She became my friend.

24. I started sponsoring Cwangco, a little girl who lives in Africa, through World Vision.

Here's to the next year of being 25!

A Graduate Student's Guide To All Nighters.

1. Take out contacts and put on glasses. THIS IS IMPERATIVE. Your eyes will get sleepy and grainy if you leave your contacts in.

2. Make coffee. Good creamer is a necessity. If no creamer is available, opt for milk and brown sugar, like they do in India.

3. Make sure you have a good internet connection, your laptop's power cord, and bright lights on in the room.  A good smelling candle helps, too.

4. STAY HYDRATED. You'll feel better, plus it will give you built-in five minute breaks.

5. Put your phone on silent. This is not the time to text. In fact, turn it over also so you can't even see the screen. This is the time to work your butt off because your assignment is due in less than 24 hours.

6. Every couple hours, eat a high protein snack... while watching Kid President's Pep Talk. "Not cool, Robert Frost!"

7. BREATHE.

8. It's best to NOT put on your pajamas or comfy clothes. It keeps you in the "working" mind. I'm not saying put on your  best Business Professional outfit, but stay in jeans and a sweatshirt. Don't even wear slippers.

9. Sit at a table. Not on your bed. Or on the couch. Or on a comfy chair.

10. Be open to your assignment moving in new directions, to your paper topic shifting a little as your research progresses, but be sure to keep it limited. Don't "Ride like the wind, Bullseye!"

11. At some point, you are REALLY going to want to brush your teeth. Do it. But resist the urge to clean the bathroom while you are in there. You don't really want to clean. You just don't want to keep working.

12. Persevere. Just keep going.

Crab Hat Princess.

I started my graduate course!  But I have seriously got to be the weirdest kid in my course.  This is what I'm wearing while studying tonight:

Most of my classmates work for the government in DC, or for the UN in Africa, or something equally impressive.  Me?  I work for the Mat-Su Borough School District.  And I love it.  I'm excited to see how this degree, the skills I'll learn, and the opportunities I'll have will help me make some of my hopes and dreams come true.

But for now, I'll watch my Power Point, wear my crab hat and crown, and just be me.

First Hot Chocolate In 2013.

Tonight, after taking down my Christmas decorations (well, all except for my (now bare) tree), I am sitting to enjoy a cup of hot chocolate.

I'd like to do this more: sit and enjoy. Savor.

Right now, I am savoring the messiness, the chocolatey-ness, the solitude of living. I like it.

My Friend.

So. So. So much love for this girl. What a blessing, talking with her tonight.

My heart is full and the Lord is faithful.

Lord willing, I will even get to see her in a couple of months. Huzzah.

Astonished.

"I have bad news for you: You're not clairvoyant. Not even a little. You have no idea how the future will unfold. But it will unfold, slowly and quickly and slowly again, in ways that you cannot now begin to imagine. So stop trying to guess what's coming next. All the effort you put into figuring out what will happen, all the scenarios you play out in your mind -- they're useless. And that's a good thing. Relax and let the future arrive on its own time and in its own way. Allow yourself to be astonished." - Robin Bernstein

What Is Your Favorite Part Of Your Body And Why?

Hmm...

There's a couple things I like about my body.  Can I name more than one?

I like my eyes.  They're green on the outside and brown on the inside.  In the picture below, I don't have any make-up on, but I like wearing a little bit of mascara.  My eyes have seen some things: children with AIDS, sunsets and beggars in India, the Valley from the top of a mountain.

I also like my fingers.  They are long.  Thin.  I have to wear my purity ring on my left index finger because it's the only one it fits on and will stay on.  But I like what my fingers can do: make Adobe forms, crochet, sew, climb on rocks, drive, point to things, serve.

List Your Top Five Hobbies And Why You Love Them.

- Crocheting. I love taking a ball of yarn and turning it into something with a series of knots and loops.  It is relaxing.  I enjoy making things for people - blankets, slippers, toys, hats... there is so much time and consideration that goes into each thing.
- Biking. So much faster and more fun than running.  Racing into the wind, legs up and down, skidding across rocks... thrilling.
- Teaching. I like explaining things effectively and helping people understand why it matters.  'Nuf said.
- Taking pictures.  Oh, to capture those special moments in time!  A picture says a thousand words.  I can look at pictures from India or last summer and instantly be back in that place and time - same smells, same tastes, same heat...
- Planking.  Really, this just signifies every ridiculous thing I do including, but not limited to, marathon thrifting, taking pictures of my Jeep's miles as they rack up, etc.  Life is full of and composed of moments like that.

If You Could Live Anywhere, Where Would It Be And Why?

In a heartbeat I would be
In a hut
On the edge of a village
Where children need a teacher,
a mentor,
someone to love them,
and hug them,
and not care that they are sick with AIDS.

Maybe its the romantic in me,
but we would go for walks
in the long grass,
watching giraffes and warthogs,
running barefoot -
as if we were being recruited for the Olympics.

The sun.
The dirt.
The heat waves glistening and undulating as the day draws to a close
And the crickets start chirping.

I'd wash my feet,
wiping the sweat off my brow
as I duck into my thatched-roof hut.

And as the sun set across the African landscape,
I would once again praise the
Lord who made Heaven and Earth,
thanking Him for another day,
another opportunity,
to tell another lost soul
that He passionately loves
and pursues
and seeks
and forgives.

Absolutely.

Describe Your Relationship With Your Parents.

I live at home, so my relationship with them is mostly good.  It's hard being nearly 24, still living at home, but I am so thankful that they let me!

My mom and I are closer - she asks me questions about my life (and I'm not one to talk about what's going on unless someone asks).  I think she knows how silly and random I can be - and I know she loves me for that.  She has always been so supportive - when I wanted to go to Africa and India, she was just like, "Welp, God will provide."  And I know she prays diligently for me.

My dad provides like no other.  Almost every birthday or Christmas for the last I don't know how long, I have gotten a gun, knife, or bullets from my Daddy.  He doesn't ask a lot of questions, or respond to them when I ask, but I know he is so darn proud of me: for graduating summe cum laude, for paying off student loans, for buying a car.  He is so giving and loving.

I think they sometimes don't know what to do with me: my passions are different than theirs, and so are my "life goals" and dreams.

They make me laugh, my parents do, and I praise God for putting me in a family with parents who still - after 32 years - passionately love one another, who still kiss in the kitchen (even when I say, "EWW!"), who still like to hold hands.

I have great respect for them.

Work And Love.

I got a raise at work.

Well, technically, I got a new job: Business Systems Analyst.

I could spend time saying, "This is NOT how I anticipated my life going!" or I could rejoice in God's provision and blessing and Greatness.  I'll choose the latter.  Let me brag on Him for a while:

The Father is so darn Good.  I mean, let's get real.  Within two years of graduating from college, all of my student loans are paid off and I purchased a brand new car off the showroom floor at the car dealer. My parents have continued to let me live at home. Relationships are growing and I am co-leading the youth mission trip again this summer.

He has blessed, as He always does.

I get another raise at work on July 1.  My goal is to have my Jeep paid off by the time I turn 27.  That's doable.  Because of my recent purchase, however, I may wait until fall to find my own place.  Get the start of my car payments under my belt.

I am loving living at home lately - it's been fun to spend time with my parents and see them live life as a couple still totally in love, after nearly 32 years. Aren't they SO cute?!

I want a love like that - where I can be totally myself, absolutely comfortable and happy with the person, and confident that they feel the same way.

PS - my birthday is in two weeks!

Braces.

Metal Mouth.
Railroad Tracks.
Or, as Taig says, A Mouth Full Of Butterflies.

Christmas Music And Ice Cream.

This is life tonight:







Yummy Peanut-Butter/Chocolate ice-cream. And Christmas Music. And cutting fabric for quilting.

Today, I went thrifting: 4 sweaters and a bag.

I went to a movie by myself for the first time, too - something to which I've always had an aversion - and I loved it. The movie was lovely, and being by myself was nice, too. I talked to the random man who was waiting for the movie to start, who was also there by himself. He was about 50, so it was a little odd that he went to see "Breaking Dawn, Part 1" but who am I to judge?

And I soaked for about an hour in my boss' jacuzzi tub. Oh man. It was awesome. There's nothing quite like drinking a cup of coffee while soaking in a jacuzzi tub and reading "My Utmost for His Highest." It feeds every part of me: Physical, Spiritual, Emotional.

Living.

I loved being in California last month. I loved the warmth, the people with whom I spent time, the realization that Alaskans aren't the only ones.

I don't like to travel. I like to be. I like to be where I know I should be. Not should be, but... where the Lord wills for me to be. Last month, it was California. The month before, it was Washington. This month, it is Alaska, House-sitting.

I don't want to live in Alaska forever. Or probably much longer, period. But where do I want to live?

Africa. Uganda, with KKI. Or at the orphanage in South Africa. Or in a pyramid in Egypt.

Falling Leaves.

Emotional Nutcase: (n) one who cannot react to situations appropriately; one who is prone to crying and fits of feeling inadequate

Of all definitions I can have with my name, this is the most recently appropriate. Isn’t that unfortunate? But alas, on K Love today, I heard…

“Fall Apart” by Josh Wilson.

…Now it all seems upside down.
Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel you now more than I did then.
I cannot come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need.
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts:
I find You when I fall apart.
I don’t know how long this will last
I’m praying for the pain to pass.
But maybe this is the best thing
That has ever happened to me.

The mission trip to Old Harbor is coming up. I’m accompanying the youth with two married couples and three or four little kids. And I am excited. This will be my first trip since India, where everything changed. There was a newness on that trip: a new way of relating to God, of knowing Him and hearing from Him. It was… indescribable. This will also be my first time in an Alaska Native Village and I think it will be an interesting and challenging time… from what I hear, at least. One week. We leave in one week, first for a six hour car ride, then a ten hour ferry ride, then a plane trip. Gotta love Alaska travel.

I interviewed at an elementary school in Anchorage. They have no openings but are anticipating some. Waiting game. I do have a (non-teaching) job lined up for the fall. And I’m thinking: do I even WANT to teach? Am I ready for it? Can I handle my own classroom? This job that I’ve been offered, I would learn skills that could better prepare me for a classroom of my own one day – but if I take it, will I ever get my own classroom? Really?

I am nearly done with my hooded crocheted sweater. It’s blue. And cuddly.

I found a brown leaf today on our deck table. It’s JUNE. What’s the deal? We had a party together:





My bike and I went on a wonderful ride together yesterday, about 10 miles. I stopped at a fellow teacher’s house and blew my nose before visiting with them for a few minutes. Bike riding? How did I like for about 10 years without this?! What a time to enjoy God’s creation and empty my mind! It’s like… mobile meditation. Haha. I got my new helmet in the mail and really like it. Incidentally, the new shorts I just bought match it perfectly. I’m like a little bike model.

Call your shrink. Call the National Guard. Call your priest. Call me when you’re over it.

Tuesday Tribute!

It has been a LONG time since I have composed a Tuesday Tribute. MONTHS, in fact. But it's time.



Dear LDB,

I'm SO GLAD we are long-distance buddies!! I've missed you and our friendship - we had fun in high school! Sometimes I forget that we were such good friends. But we really were. I am thankful for that. It's like, each time I prayed for a good Christian friend, you came into my life.

Oh my gosh - that time we hung out in Palmer with Jen and Titus randomly?! Haha, V-Ho, and taking pictures, and we went to that park that has the spinny thing.
I don't remember hiking in Hatchers, but I remember when we hung out in Anchorage. You had mono :( (BTW, I think I might have mono now... I'll know tomorrow.) We "hiked" up to Thunderbird Falls.

Literally. That's how God worked it out.
You are my answer to prayers.

It's funny how our lives are similar now. Like relationships and jobs and even what God is teaching us. I like that. Often, I miss having girlfriends with whom I can discuss the Bible and what I am learning and whatnot. How great is that, that now we can do that again.

Lovely.

Thanks for being my friend again. You're great :)

Love,
Melissa

Love.

http://mrmrsglobetrot.blogspot.com/

That's all.

To Someone That Changed My Life.

Dear Tahmee,

You changed my life. Did you know that? Will you ever know that? If I return to your home in South Africa, will you remember me? Will you allow me to hug you?

You were two years old and you had AIDS. You didn't smile, didn't laugh, didn't play until I had been there a few days, consistently smiling at you. Then you... changed. Never the same, from what I saw. How did you change my life? More than anything, you are the one who opened my eyes to the transforming power of love. I now believe that, by golly, love can do anything. Love can change anything. There is more power in love than anything else.

I hope you are happy and healthy. I hope you are adopted one day. But more than anything, I hope that you come to the saving knowledge of Christ so that you can experience His transforming love, too.

Yes, those are my hopes for you.

Sometimes I am caught off guard by how our lives are so different. How you were chosen to be born in Africa, to an ill mother who did not want to take care of you, or who was unable to take care of you. How I was chosen to be born in Alaska. But by the grace of God, our lives still crossed paths.

Beautiful, precious Tahmee.
Love,
Moleesa.