Aren't they cute? They're Keds.
6.29.2006
Church Last Night.
Last night, I got really fed up at church. During Acteens. It's like, to them, I can't do anything right. Me and Maria, and usually Megan is grouped with us, are always wrong. No matter what. Even when we're joking around, a leader who shall remained un-named always takes it personally. And I'm so sick of it.
So after church got out, I didn't want to go home yet. So I asked Ashley if she wanted to go for a walk or something. So we drive to Wasilla, park at a park, and just start walking around. And talking. So I tell her all about what had happened that night and while we were camping, and we talk about serving, and she tells me about her mission trip, and we talk about what we want to do in our lives, and we talk about God a lot, and we decided to start running together. And it was just really good. I needed it.
Ha - so we started walking, and we're going down the sidewalk, and on the other side of the street, a ways in front of us, is two guys walking towards us with a dog. And they are not nice-looking boys. They look like trouble. With a capital T. So they look like Trouble. And all of a sudden they cross the street towards us. So Ashley and I look at eachother, look at them, look both ways down the road, and like sprint to the other side of the road, away from them. And it was so obvious why we did it. And they were like "Ah, #$$#&^^&^&*$%, man, we were coming to talk to you ladies!" And we're like, um, yeah, okay...keep walking, don't look back. It was really really funny.
So I came home in a good mood.
And I have something sweet planned for today. Last night, Ms. Janelle was like, "We're washing my car tonight!" but she was just kidding. So after work, I'm going to pick up Megan and Maria, and we're driving to her house to wash her car. And we decided to wear shorts, a T-shirt, and ski masks. So it will be sweet.
Then tomorrow, or today, I have to pack for Hawaii. And then on Saturday, at like 2:30 am, we leave on a jet plane. And I actually don't know when I'll be back again.
I'm reading a raelly good book called "Being a Girl Who Serves" by Shannon Kubiak Primicerio. I think it's better preperation for the mission trip than anything else we've done in Acteens. We told Ms. Janelle that we want a culture lession again, because really, we do, and she thought we were joking. We haven't actually been taught by her in about 6 months. And I'm dead serious. We'll either do a lesson from MGHFTW, or we'll just talk about nothing, or we'll plan funraisers, or we'll talk about the mission trip. I'll be glad when I don't go to Acteens anymore, but I feel for Meg and Maria if they have to keep doing it when you don't do anything. How sucky it'll be for them.
So after church got out, I didn't want to go home yet. So I asked Ashley if she wanted to go for a walk or something. So we drive to Wasilla, park at a park, and just start walking around. And talking. So I tell her all about what had happened that night and while we were camping, and we talk about serving, and she tells me about her mission trip, and we talk about what we want to do in our lives, and we talk about God a lot, and we decided to start running together. And it was just really good. I needed it.
Ha - so we started walking, and we're going down the sidewalk, and on the other side of the street, a ways in front of us, is two guys walking towards us with a dog. And they are not nice-looking boys. They look like trouble. With a capital T. So they look like Trouble. And all of a sudden they cross the street towards us. So Ashley and I look at eachother, look at them, look both ways down the road, and like sprint to the other side of the road, away from them. And it was so obvious why we did it. And they were like "Ah, #$$#&^^&^&*$%, man, we were coming to talk to you ladies!" And we're like, um, yeah, okay...keep walking, don't look back. It was really really funny.
So I came home in a good mood.
And I have something sweet planned for today. Last night, Ms. Janelle was like, "We're washing my car tonight!" but she was just kidding. So after work, I'm going to pick up Megan and Maria, and we're driving to her house to wash her car. And we decided to wear shorts, a T-shirt, and ski masks. So it will be sweet.
Then tomorrow, or today, I have to pack for Hawaii. And then on Saturday, at like 2:30 am, we leave on a jet plane. And I actually don't know when I'll be back again.
I'm reading a raelly good book called "Being a Girl Who Serves" by Shannon Kubiak Primicerio. I think it's better preperation for the mission trip than anything else we've done in Acteens. We told Ms. Janelle that we want a culture lession again, because really, we do, and she thought we were joking. We haven't actually been taught by her in about 6 months. And I'm dead serious. We'll either do a lesson from MGHFTW, or we'll just talk about nothing, or we'll plan funraisers, or we'll talk about the mission trip. I'll be glad when I don't go to Acteens anymore, but I feel for Meg and Maria if they have to keep doing it when you don't do anything. How sucky it'll be for them.
Wiki Wiki Wikipedia.
I love, I seriously LOVE, www.wikipedia.com. It is the greatest website on the entire world wide web. Except for this one. But at wikipedia, you can type in anything and I can pretty much guarentee you can find info about it. Including, but not limited to, duct tape, Mischa Barton, Keds and spork. Here is some little-known information about the spork:
A spork is an hybrid form of cutlery. It is based upon a spoon, with the addition of the tines of a fork (usually three or four). A similar utensil, the splade, also has the serrated edge of a knife. Spork-like utensils have been manufactured since at least the late 1800s; patents for spork-like designs date back to at least 1874 and the word "spork" was registered as a trademark both in the U.S. and the U.K. decades later. Sporks are offered in both re-usable and disposable form and are quite versatile. They are commonly used by fast food restaurants, school cafeterias, and backpackers.
Who knows all that? Why, www.wikipedia.com does!
They even have Relient K. Did you know they started a cartoon show about themselves? You can watch it on their myspace.
Crazy what you learn on-line.
A spork is an hybrid form of cutlery. It is based upon a spoon, with the addition of the tines of a fork (usually three or four). A similar utensil, the splade, also has the serrated edge of a knife. Spork-like utensils have been manufactured since at least the late 1800s; patents for spork-like designs date back to at least 1874 and the word "spork" was registered as a trademark both in the U.S. and the U.K. decades later. Sporks are offered in both re-usable and disposable form and are quite versatile. They are commonly used by fast food restaurants, school cafeterias, and backpackers.
Who knows all that? Why, www.wikipedia.com does!
They even have Relient K. Did you know they started a cartoon show about themselves? You can watch it on their myspace.
Crazy what you learn on-line.
6.28.2006
I Think.
I know people who think no one really knows them.
And I think that that's lame.
A lot of times, people know you better than you know yourself. That's how it is with me, anyway.
It's like, if you want people to raelly know you, then let them. Stop putting up walls or acting fake or whatever you're doing, and live how you want people to see you.
Perhaps you think people don't know you because you don't really know yourself. You aren't willing or able to look at who you truly are, so you blame that on other people not knowing you.
Grow up.
And I think that that's lame.
A lot of times, people know you better than you know yourself. That's how it is with me, anyway.
It's like, if you want people to raelly know you, then let them. Stop putting up walls or acting fake or whatever you're doing, and live how you want people to see you.
Perhaps you think people don't know you because you don't really know yourself. You aren't willing or able to look at who you truly are, so you blame that on other people not knowing you.
Grow up.
6.26.2006
CrossWalk.
So, CrossWalk today. And it was...I don't know. God worked in it. In me, at least.
It rained all morning. And pretty much all afternoon and evening.
But, it's like, I knew that God wanted me to do this CrossWalk thing. And I knew that no matter what, even if I was the only person, I would carry the cross by myself. But Jen came, and Megan, and that was all. And a guy came from church to take pictures, and suggested that we postpone it.
I don't think people realize what CrossWalk is about. I mean, Luke 9:23 says to deny yourself, take up your cross daily and follow God. It doesn't say, "Only if it's sunny, and the birds are singing and you can wear shorts and a T-shirt do you have to deny yourself. Any other time, forget about it." It says DAILY. As in, every 24-hour period, this needs to be done. Denying yourself is about forgetting about your soaking shoes, and jeans wet from the knees down. It's not caring about your stringy hair and too small raincoat. To deny yourself is to realize that nothing is more important than God.
And I think people forget that. A lot.
So when the Virginia kids arrived at Carrs to CrossWalk, they were so not looking forward to it. It being carrying the cross from Carrs to Wonderland. They did not want to do it in the rain. Or at all, I think. So I told them this:
"CrossWalk is all about Luke 9:23, where Jesus tells the people to forget about themselves, and take up their cross and follow Him. And I mean, I grew up in a Christian home, and asked Jesus into my life when I was five. But even then, I didn't know what it meant to live out that verse. Last May, I was chosen to go to North Carolina to pick up the very cross that is in the back of my truck right now. And the entire weekend I was in NC, I still didn't know what CW was about. People kept saying how it had changed their lives, but I didn't get it. The final night, we had to talk about what we wanted to do with the cross in Alaska. And I came up with something about 'binding the church together'. And then the time came for us to take the cross and walk it off-stage. So we picked it up. And we struggled. Not because it's heavy, per say, but because it's awkward. I mean, it's a cross. So we start walking down the aisle of this chapel we were in. And everyone in there stands up, and they start to clap and cheer and kids are crying and screaming. And all I can think is, 'Wow...I feel like a rock star. Everyone is clapping for me...look at me deny myself and take up my cross. Man, I feel great.' Then it's like a brick hit me, opening my eyes. Because I realized, finally, that they weren't clapping for me. They were clapping for the cross, for the One who died on the cross, and for Who came off of the cross and rose three days later. I relized that CrossWalk is all for Him. Not for me. And guys, I'll be honest with you. I'm not too thrilled about doing this in the rain. I'd rather do it when it's nice and sunny and beautiful outside. But think about this: how much easier would it be to do this on a nice day? Satan knows that God changes lives with CrossWalk. He changed mine. And Satan does not want us to do this. That's why it's raining. But you know what? I'm not going to let rain stop me from following my God. I'm going to deny myself, and learn to deal with wet pants and shoes. If none of you want to do this, I'll carry the cross myself, like Jesus did for me. CrossWalk is about denying yourself, forgetting what you want to do, and doing what God wants, regardless of everything that goes with it. So I want you guys to think about what you're willing to give up: dry clothes? A warm bus? Are you willing to CrossWalk for God? I'm not going to make you do this, but think of the sacrifice Jesus made for you on Calvary. What will your sacrifice be?"
I know that's really long, trust me I said it (or something like it) three different times to three different buses. And I was crying towards the end. I just wanted them to get over themselves and see that CW isn't about them being comfortable. It's like, God doesn't move a stationary object. And I know that for me, I don't want to be stationary any longer. I have been for enough time. I'm through with being a rock that gathers moss.
So by the end, almost every kid had on a plastic garbage bag for a rain poncho, and they all came and gathered around the truck. I led us in a prayer, and they picked up the cross and took off. And almost as soon as we even got to the Parks, the rain had stopped. It's like, when Satan saw us actually going, he knew that nothing could stop us. And that felt really good.
I don't know if they learned anything. I did, though. It's funny how God uses the words He speaks through me to others to teach myself something I need to know.
We carried a cross to Wonderland Park. Wet jeans and shoes had never felt better. And I loved it. All of it. I hope, I pray, that if nothing else, they'll think about what I said. And remember that. And I hope and pray that God will just work in them. And me. He knows I need it. A lot.
So I don't think we're doing anything else with CW at my church, but I there's something I want to do on the Butte, just me and God, and hopefully my parents will let just me go. I think it's important that I do this. Before I go to college. Preforably when it's raining. Because...I have some things I need to deal with. And the Butte will be a nice place to do it.
I think I'm really in love with my God, and as hokey as that may sound, it's true.
It rained all morning. And pretty much all afternoon and evening.
But, it's like, I knew that God wanted me to do this CrossWalk thing. And I knew that no matter what, even if I was the only person, I would carry the cross by myself. But Jen came, and Megan, and that was all. And a guy came from church to take pictures, and suggested that we postpone it.
I don't think people realize what CrossWalk is about. I mean, Luke 9:23 says to deny yourself, take up your cross daily and follow God. It doesn't say, "Only if it's sunny, and the birds are singing and you can wear shorts and a T-shirt do you have to deny yourself. Any other time, forget about it." It says DAILY. As in, every 24-hour period, this needs to be done. Denying yourself is about forgetting about your soaking shoes, and jeans wet from the knees down. It's not caring about your stringy hair and too small raincoat. To deny yourself is to realize that nothing is more important than God.
And I think people forget that. A lot.
So when the Virginia kids arrived at Carrs to CrossWalk, they were so not looking forward to it. It being carrying the cross from Carrs to Wonderland. They did not want to do it in the rain. Or at all, I think. So I told them this:
"CrossWalk is all about Luke 9:23, where Jesus tells the people to forget about themselves, and take up their cross and follow Him. And I mean, I grew up in a Christian home, and asked Jesus into my life when I was five. But even then, I didn't know what it meant to live out that verse. Last May, I was chosen to go to North Carolina to pick up the very cross that is in the back of my truck right now. And the entire weekend I was in NC, I still didn't know what CW was about. People kept saying how it had changed their lives, but I didn't get it. The final night, we had to talk about what we wanted to do with the cross in Alaska. And I came up with something about 'binding the church together'. And then the time came for us to take the cross and walk it off-stage. So we picked it up. And we struggled. Not because it's heavy, per say, but because it's awkward. I mean, it's a cross. So we start walking down the aisle of this chapel we were in. And everyone in there stands up, and they start to clap and cheer and kids are crying and screaming. And all I can think is, 'Wow...I feel like a rock star. Everyone is clapping for me...look at me deny myself and take up my cross. Man, I feel great.' Then it's like a brick hit me, opening my eyes. Because I realized, finally, that they weren't clapping for me. They were clapping for the cross, for the One who died on the cross, and for Who came off of the cross and rose three days later. I relized that CrossWalk is all for Him. Not for me. And guys, I'll be honest with you. I'm not too thrilled about doing this in the rain. I'd rather do it when it's nice and sunny and beautiful outside. But think about this: how much easier would it be to do this on a nice day? Satan knows that God changes lives with CrossWalk. He changed mine. And Satan does not want us to do this. That's why it's raining. But you know what? I'm not going to let rain stop me from following my God. I'm going to deny myself, and learn to deal with wet pants and shoes. If none of you want to do this, I'll carry the cross myself, like Jesus did for me. CrossWalk is about denying yourself, forgetting what you want to do, and doing what God wants, regardless of everything that goes with it. So I want you guys to think about what you're willing to give up: dry clothes? A warm bus? Are you willing to CrossWalk for God? I'm not going to make you do this, but think of the sacrifice Jesus made for you on Calvary. What will your sacrifice be?"
I know that's really long, trust me I said it (or something like it) three different times to three different buses. And I was crying towards the end. I just wanted them to get over themselves and see that CW isn't about them being comfortable. It's like, God doesn't move a stationary object. And I know that for me, I don't want to be stationary any longer. I have been for enough time. I'm through with being a rock that gathers moss.
So by the end, almost every kid had on a plastic garbage bag for a rain poncho, and they all came and gathered around the truck. I led us in a prayer, and they picked up the cross and took off. And almost as soon as we even got to the Parks, the rain had stopped. It's like, when Satan saw us actually going, he knew that nothing could stop us. And that felt really good.
I don't know if they learned anything. I did, though. It's funny how God uses the words He speaks through me to others to teach myself something I need to know.
We carried a cross to Wonderland Park. Wet jeans and shoes had never felt better. And I loved it. All of it. I hope, I pray, that if nothing else, they'll think about what I said. And remember that. And I hope and pray that God will just work in them. And me. He knows I need it. A lot.
So I don't think we're doing anything else with CW at my church, but I there's something I want to do on the Butte, just me and God, and hopefully my parents will let just me go. I think it's important that I do this. Before I go to college. Preforably when it's raining. Because...I have some things I need to deal with. And the Butte will be a nice place to do it.
I think I'm really in love with my God, and as hokey as that may sound, it's true.
Veggie Oil Sandwich.
So yesterday, I had lunch (with my parents and his parents) with this kid (okay, so he's out of college). But anyway, he had altered his own truck by himself so that it runs on vegetable oil. Recycled vegetable oil. As in, he just goes to restaurants and asks them if they have left over vegetable oil he can have. And how crazy genius is that? I mean, you hear of a bunch of people who are trying to do that, but this kid, Andy, totally did it. I was actually amazed.
As for the title, you know that song about Australia ("I'm livin' in the land down under...")? Well, there's one line about a vegemite sandwich. And I just thought of that.
So yeah. That's all. I thought I would tell the world (or the like, two people who read this) about Andy, the genius who made his car run on vegetable oil.
As for the title, you know that song about Australia ("I'm livin' in the land down under...")? Well, there's one line about a vegemite sandwich. And I just thought of that.
So yeah. That's all. I thought I would tell the world (or the like, two people who read this) about Andy, the genius who made his car run on vegetable oil.
6.23.2006
Operation: Resuce Mission.
We went to the Anchorage Rescue Mission on Wednesday. To serve meals.
And...wow.
It was actually a lot of fun. Me, Meg, Lizzy, and Brittany served first, and randomly we would all just switch spots. When Meg was serving the meat, she put a mountain of it on someone's tray. It was funny. There was this one guy who came and talked to us several times. Once, he came up and said like, "I don't stay here, so it's okay for me to say that you girls are as adorable as [insert name of place where Satan dwells]." Then he came back later and said, "Well, I'm leaving, but do any of you know French?" and so I said I do, then he said, "Pardonez moi, mademoiselles, mais [insert French words here]. Don't worry, that's good." And I have no idea what he said, but he was funny. And this African-American lady came in with like three or four little black kids, and they were so cute. And there was this guy who didn't speak English, and imagine how hard that would be: to be in a place with no money, probably no job, no place to live, and no food. And there was another guy who must go there a lot, because the workers there knew his name.
It was eye-opening. That could have been the only thing they ate all day. And I mean, I didn't really think about the kind of people who go there for food. That black lady was young, and there was men dressed rather nicely. And women. And kids. And each of them have a name, and a history, and a story, and a future. And some of them know Jesus, and others don't. And to think that I was a part of their life, if only for a moment when I scooped them up some vegetables. To think that I helped keep them from going to bed hungry that night.
So then last night, while I was talking to God, I prayed for a long time for the people I saw there.
And I don't know, but my heart just broke for them. I can't imagine not being able to just go to the refrigerator and pull out some yogurt or string cheese or something. Yet, they can't. And I can't imagine not being able to sleep in my own bed every night, or watch TV, or take a daily shower. But they can't. To be looked down upon, to have people not look at me in the eyes, all of the things that go with being homeless: I can't even imagine going through that. And these people live with that every single day. They stand on the corner and ask for money with cardboard signs, under the scrutiny of the people who can afford the luxury of cars, wincing under the eyes of those who think they spend all the money they get on booze. And I'm sure some of them do. But I can almost 100% guarentee that if you gave that black women some money, she would high-tail it to WalMart to buy something for her kids. It's like, because of one situation in one person's like, we're willing and eager to judge everyone. And that isn't fair. To anyone.
I think that's what I want to do in Afriac, is go to a really poor AIDS-ridden village or city, and set up like a boarding school where we give food to the people there who need it. How sweet would that be? I could teach English, and I'd obviously need more people to teach other things, but to have a girls' boarding school, and as part of their requirements, they have to help hand out meals to people. I really need to pray about it, though. I want to do what God wants me to do, nothing more and nothing less, but sometimes I get confused with what He wants me to do and what I want to do.
I know that He wants me to go into missions, and I know that He has given me compassion for people (Although now, all I can think about is prom night, when we were in Anchorage, and I was like "don't wave to homeless people because they'll chase your car asking for money." And I feel like a huge jerk. Because what if one of the people I said that about is one of the people who came into the rescue mission, just hungry and wanting to get out of the rain? I'm such a huge hypocrite. With my lips I praise God and condemn men. And how lame is that?). But what do I do with it?
And...wow.
It was actually a lot of fun. Me, Meg, Lizzy, and Brittany served first, and randomly we would all just switch spots. When Meg was serving the meat, she put a mountain of it on someone's tray. It was funny. There was this one guy who came and talked to us several times. Once, he came up and said like, "I don't stay here, so it's okay for me to say that you girls are as adorable as [insert name of place where Satan dwells]." Then he came back later and said, "Well, I'm leaving, but do any of you know French?" and so I said I do, then he said, "Pardonez moi, mademoiselles, mais [insert French words here]. Don't worry, that's good." And I have no idea what he said, but he was funny. And this African-American lady came in with like three or four little black kids, and they were so cute. And there was this guy who didn't speak English, and imagine how hard that would be: to be in a place with no money, probably no job, no place to live, and no food. And there was another guy who must go there a lot, because the workers there knew his name.
It was eye-opening. That could have been the only thing they ate all day. And I mean, I didn't really think about the kind of people who go there for food. That black lady was young, and there was men dressed rather nicely. And women. And kids. And each of them have a name, and a history, and a story, and a future. And some of them know Jesus, and others don't. And to think that I was a part of their life, if only for a moment when I scooped them up some vegetables. To think that I helped keep them from going to bed hungry that night.
So then last night, while I was talking to God, I prayed for a long time for the people I saw there.
And I don't know, but my heart just broke for them. I can't imagine not being able to just go to the refrigerator and pull out some yogurt or string cheese or something. Yet, they can't. And I can't imagine not being able to sleep in my own bed every night, or watch TV, or take a daily shower. But they can't. To be looked down upon, to have people not look at me in the eyes, all of the things that go with being homeless: I can't even imagine going through that. And these people live with that every single day. They stand on the corner and ask for money with cardboard signs, under the scrutiny of the people who can afford the luxury of cars, wincing under the eyes of those who think they spend all the money they get on booze. And I'm sure some of them do. But I can almost 100% guarentee that if you gave that black women some money, she would high-tail it to WalMart to buy something for her kids. It's like, because of one situation in one person's like, we're willing and eager to judge everyone. And that isn't fair. To anyone.
I think that's what I want to do in Afriac, is go to a really poor AIDS-ridden village or city, and set up like a boarding school where we give food to the people there who need it. How sweet would that be? I could teach English, and I'd obviously need more people to teach other things, but to have a girls' boarding school, and as part of their requirements, they have to help hand out meals to people. I really need to pray about it, though. I want to do what God wants me to do, nothing more and nothing less, but sometimes I get confused with what He wants me to do and what I want to do.
I know that He wants me to go into missions, and I know that He has given me compassion for people (Although now, all I can think about is prom night, when we were in Anchorage, and I was like "don't wave to homeless people because they'll chase your car asking for money." And I feel like a huge jerk. Because what if one of the people I said that about is one of the people who came into the rescue mission, just hungry and wanting to get out of the rain? I'm such a huge hypocrite. With my lips I praise God and condemn men. And how lame is that?). But what do I do with it?
6.21.2006
Nicole's Picture.
At graduation, my friend Nicole gave me this watercolor picture she had made. In the backgound she painted Africa in green, then over where Ethiopia is, she painted it another color and wrote "Ethiopia" in a really cool way. Then she added two African-looking people. And they are amazing. Breathtaking. Indescribable. How she made them that realistic with watercolor is beyond me. Then, over all of it, she wrote some scriptures and just a really cool note to me. I'm going to frame it, and guarenteed, I will keep it forever.
I don't know why I just thought of that, but I did. And for some reason, I had to write about it.
I don't know why I just thought of that, but I did. And for some reason, I had to write about it.
6.19.2006
I Won't Lie.
Maybe I'm just being a baby who needs to grow up. I think that's it. But still. I mean, I know I'm 18, but I feel like I'm 12. Maybe I just ACT like I'm 12. Either way. I hate it A lot. It's like, I know God had a reason for it. All of it. I just wish I knew what it was. Or is. Or will be at some time.
In some ways, I can't wait to go to college. Just so I can get out of here, and start over with friends and who I am and everything. But at the same time, that's why I'm scared to leave.
I think that out of everyone, I'm really going to miss my parents. And Jen. A LOT. She's like a little sister to me. And Megan and Maria. And the 5th/6th graders: especially William, Kyla, Carli, and Mary Ann Zmuda. And Sierra. Those guys love me, but I don't say that to give myself an ego. I say that because it's true. I mean, for graduation, Sierra gave me a box of chocolates and a card that said "No where on earth is there a better teacher" and I'm positive that she meant it. And I'll miss Mrs. Middendorf A LOT, and Mrs. Trout, but mostly Ms. Mindy.
I think Ms. Mindy has been the sinlge most influential lady in my life, both spiritually and otherwise. Besides my parents. And sometimes, I think she surpasses them. I'm going to miss her more than anyone outside of my family, I think.
And I'm about to cry from just thinking about it.
In some ways, I can't wait to go to college. Just so I can get out of here, and start over with friends and who I am and everything. But at the same time, that's why I'm scared to leave.
I think that out of everyone, I'm really going to miss my parents. And Jen. A LOT. She's like a little sister to me. And Megan and Maria. And the 5th/6th graders: especially William, Kyla, Carli, and Mary Ann Zmuda. And Sierra. Those guys love me, but I don't say that to give myself an ego. I say that because it's true. I mean, for graduation, Sierra gave me a box of chocolates and a card that said "No where on earth is there a better teacher" and I'm positive that she meant it. And I'll miss Mrs. Middendorf A LOT, and Mrs. Trout, but mostly Ms. Mindy.
I think Ms. Mindy has been the sinlge most influential lady in my life, both spiritually and otherwise. Besides my parents. And sometimes, I think she surpasses them. I'm going to miss her more than anyone outside of my family, I think.
And I'm about to cry from just thinking about it.
Tony Ony Strikes Again.
Yay for Hannah and I being bold last Friday! Double Yay for us! Kristina always said I'm more outgoing than her, and in this case, she is totally right. Though Kristina wasn't there. And I WAS on the side they were on. But still! YAY for us.
So, Tony wasn't at school on the Senior's last day, so Han and I were bummed, because he's our friend, and we wanted to see him again. So we came up with a fool-proof plan: invite him to the V-Ho. Tony can't turn down the V-Ho. It's a fact of life. We had planned on going last Thursday, but he had to play his game. Then we were going to go on Friday, but we never talked to him. So Han messaged him on MySpace saying that we'll do it another time. THEN he said that he'll never see us again, then, since he is going to Washington for the summer, and he leaves on Monday!!!
Hannah called me, and we both looked for his phone number, and couldn't find it, so I called Chrissy, but she wasn't home (they're neighbors, and I knew she had it). So we hatched a brilliant idea. We would just go to his house. We met at CHS, then rode to the area where Tony lives. We found what was possibly his house, and there were two people standing outside of it. We drove up, I rolled down my window, and we had the following conversation:
"Are you Tony Bartley's parents?"
"Yes..."
"Is Tony home right now?"
"Yes..."
"Is he busy tonight?"
"No..."
"REALLY??"
"..."
"We're his friends from school. Do you think he'd want to come to the Valley Hotel with us for dinner?"
"I don't know, let me ask him. You guys can pull up."
So his Mom goes inside, and his step-dad leads us around back to the kitchen, and we walk into a beautiful, spotless house. Seriously, it could have been in a magazine. Then Tony's Mom comes in, looks at Tony's step-dad, and says, "WHY DID YOU LET THEM IN??? THE HOUSE IS A MESS! I didn't want you to see it like this." And literally, there was like a book on the coffee table, and she considered THAT a mess.
So Hannah and I sit and make small-talk with his Mom about dog illnesses and such, and Tony comes down. Yay! So we take him to the V-Ho.
And it was so much fun. We love Tony. Not like LOVE love, but he is such a good friend. We finally got him to sign our yearbooks, though he said like nothing. It was really cool, though, what he said. and we sat in the Vo-Ho for close to two hours, just talking and eating. Nothing important was said, but everything said was important. You know? Then we drove back to Tony's house, and we took pictures: of Hannah and Tony, of me and Tony, then the three of us together.
And I'm totally going to miss him. A lot. His devil pants. Eating Hannah's hair. Doing nothing in Mrs. Lackey's class. Telling me to DIE. Being my "BFF". How he always flattens his hair. Non-stop. And for knowing about the TV show "Salute Your Shorts" that aired in the 90s. I think mine and Hannah's first conversation with Tony was about 90s TV shows. And I love how Tony looks all Emo and Goth, but he is soooo not like that.
Anyway, it was such a fun night.
So, Tony wasn't at school on the Senior's last day, so Han and I were bummed, because he's our friend, and we wanted to see him again. So we came up with a fool-proof plan: invite him to the V-Ho. Tony can't turn down the V-Ho. It's a fact of life. We had planned on going last Thursday, but he had to play his game. Then we were going to go on Friday, but we never talked to him. So Han messaged him on MySpace saying that we'll do it another time. THEN he said that he'll never see us again, then, since he is going to Washington for the summer, and he leaves on Monday!!!
Hannah called me, and we both looked for his phone number, and couldn't find it, so I called Chrissy, but she wasn't home (they're neighbors, and I knew she had it). So we hatched a brilliant idea. We would just go to his house. We met at CHS, then rode to the area where Tony lives. We found what was possibly his house, and there were two people standing outside of it. We drove up, I rolled down my window, and we had the following conversation:
"Are you Tony Bartley's parents?"
"Yes..."
"Is Tony home right now?"
"Yes..."
"Is he busy tonight?"
"No..."
"REALLY??"
"..."
"We're his friends from school. Do you think he'd want to come to the Valley Hotel with us for dinner?"
"I don't know, let me ask him. You guys can pull up."
So his Mom goes inside, and his step-dad leads us around back to the kitchen, and we walk into a beautiful, spotless house. Seriously, it could have been in a magazine. Then Tony's Mom comes in, looks at Tony's step-dad, and says, "WHY DID YOU LET THEM IN??? THE HOUSE IS A MESS! I didn't want you to see it like this." And literally, there was like a book on the coffee table, and she considered THAT a mess.
So Hannah and I sit and make small-talk with his Mom about dog illnesses and such, and Tony comes down. Yay! So we take him to the V-Ho.
And it was so much fun. We love Tony. Not like LOVE love, but he is such a good friend. We finally got him to sign our yearbooks, though he said like nothing. It was really cool, though, what he said. and we sat in the Vo-Ho for close to two hours, just talking and eating. Nothing important was said, but everything said was important. You know? Then we drove back to Tony's house, and we took pictures: of Hannah and Tony, of me and Tony, then the three of us together.
And I'm totally going to miss him. A lot. His devil pants. Eating Hannah's hair. Doing nothing in Mrs. Lackey's class. Telling me to DIE. Being my "BFF". How he always flattens his hair. Non-stop. And for knowing about the TV show "Salute Your Shorts" that aired in the 90s. I think mine and Hannah's first conversation with Tony was about 90s TV shows. And I love how Tony looks all Emo and Goth, but he is soooo not like that.
Anyway, it was such a fun night.
6.12.2006
I'd Have Been Scared If I Was Kutless. But I'm Not. Bummer.
Are you kidding me? That is awesomecrazyhilarious!
So there's this guy here, in Alaska, and he goes to every Christian concert in Anchorage. I've seen him at like every one I've gone to. So this guy, he has a huge beard and carries a gigantic metal cross. And he'll walk back and forth muttering and yelling stuff, and he'll try to get to the stage so he can throw stuff on it. At the Audio Adrenaline concert, he had tons of papers about some Disney cult, and Father Mickey Mouse or something. And then the security guys (who wore cowboy hats, by the way) carried him out.
SO ANYWAY. This guy is crazy.
I was just looking at the Kutless website (it ties in, I swear) and they recently played a concert up here, and I was bummed because I couldn't go. But I went to their tour journal and they had an entry about their concert in Anchorage. And guess who made the entry?
That's right, crazy beard cross guy.
I'm not even kidding. It's hilarious. But now every person in the world who reads this tour journal is probably going to think that all Alaskans drink beer and are bikers with huge crosses who like to joust.
Just go read it: http://www.kutless.com/tour.aspx and click on "Tag Teamed Up Date Part 1" from 5/22/06. Prepare to be amazed. I sure was. Then read part two.
I can only imagine.
So there's this guy here, in Alaska, and he goes to every Christian concert in Anchorage. I've seen him at like every one I've gone to. So this guy, he has a huge beard and carries a gigantic metal cross. And he'll walk back and forth muttering and yelling stuff, and he'll try to get to the stage so he can throw stuff on it. At the Audio Adrenaline concert, he had tons of papers about some Disney cult, and Father Mickey Mouse or something. And then the security guys (who wore cowboy hats, by the way) carried him out.
SO ANYWAY. This guy is crazy.
I was just looking at the Kutless website (it ties in, I swear) and they recently played a concert up here, and I was bummed because I couldn't go. But I went to their tour journal and they had an entry about their concert in Anchorage. And guess who made the entry?
That's right, crazy beard cross guy.
I'm not even kidding. It's hilarious. But now every person in the world who reads this tour journal is probably going to think that all Alaskans drink beer and are bikers with huge crosses who like to joust.
Just go read it: http://www.kutless.com/tour.aspx and click on "Tag Teamed Up Date Part 1" from 5/22/06. Prepare to be amazed. I sure was. Then read part two.
I can only imagine.
"Take Me In" - Kutless
Take me past the outer courts
Into the Holy Place
Past the brazen altar
Lord I want to see your face
Pass me by the crowds of people
And the Priests who sing your praise
I hunger and thirst for your righteousness
But it's only found in one place
[Chorus:]
Take me into the holy of holies
Take me in by the blood of the lamb
Take me into the holy of holies
Take the coal, touch my lips, here I am
I've listened to this song literally at least 10 times since last night. It is my new favorite. As if 11:30 pm Sunday night. It's my heartfelt prayer to the Lord Most High.
Take me past the outer courts
Into the Holy Place
Past the brazen altar
Lord I want to see your face
Pass me by the crowds of people
And the Priests who sing your praise
I hunger and thirst for your righteousness
But it's only found in one place
[Chorus:]
Take me into the holy of holies
Take me in by the blood of the lamb
Take me into the holy of holies
Take the coal, touch my lips, here I am
I've listened to this song literally at least 10 times since last night. It is my new favorite. As if 11:30 pm Sunday night. It's my heartfelt prayer to the Lord Most High.
Friday Night.
Megan and Maria spent the night with me at the Swihart's when I house sat.
We're all freshmen!
*insert random yell here that translates to "YES!"*
Jesus healed the leopards.
Mmmmm...donuts.
"Why is there a frozen whole bird in the freezer...with it's feathers still attached?"
"It's a crocodile mouth!"
"What's that supposed to be? Chicken spaghetti?"
"Ryne, Ryne, wherefore art thou Ryne?"
"You doth play a mean baseball game. Your mom doth cook a mean meal."
Maria wouldn't clean out the poop.
Megan practically cried because she was scared. More than once.
The guy in the freezer opening his eyes.
And the other guy getting up and grabbing the girl.
Skipping the last three chapters. Lame-o movie.
I forgot to close the garage door.
Watching "Making the Band" on MTV for like 4 hours straight.
Smoothies.
Disney game.
Sharing water at Arby's.
The guys pushing that car. Hahahahaha.
Megan stealing half of my pillow.
Body imprints in the grass.
The burned boat at the auction. It mimicked the one in the lame-o movie.
The Corrie Story...and Megan shuddering at the thought. hahaha again
Maria and I laughing about what I e-mailed him before I told Meg.
Talking for like an hour about the mission trip.
Telling them I want a guy who can/is willing to learn how to butcher a pig.
Maria + Ryne, Meg + the Dishwasher, Me + NOT CORRIE.
Talking about Thomas and how he's changed.
Realizing that Maria LOVES praise-band like nothing else.
Hearing about how Maria talked about me to Mr. Berg, saying I'm super cool. :)
Megan showing up in a skirt and sweatpants.
I'm going to miss them. It kind of sucks going to college. It's hard to think about everyone I'm going to miss.
We're all freshmen!
*insert random yell here that translates to "YES!"*
Jesus healed the leopards.
Mmmmm...donuts.
"Why is there a frozen whole bird in the freezer...with it's feathers still attached?"
"It's a crocodile mouth!"
"What's that supposed to be? Chicken spaghetti?"
"Ryne, Ryne, wherefore art thou Ryne?"
"You doth play a mean baseball game. Your mom doth cook a mean meal."
Maria wouldn't clean out the poop.
Megan practically cried because she was scared. More than once.
The guy in the freezer opening his eyes.
And the other guy getting up and grabbing the girl.
Skipping the last three chapters. Lame-o movie.
I forgot to close the garage door.
Watching "Making the Band" on MTV for like 4 hours straight.
Smoothies.
Disney game.
Sharing water at Arby's.
The guys pushing that car. Hahahahaha.
Megan stealing half of my pillow.
Body imprints in the grass.
The burned boat at the auction. It mimicked the one in the lame-o movie.
The Corrie Story...and Megan shuddering at the thought. hahaha again
Maria and I laughing about what I e-mailed him before I told Meg.
Talking for like an hour about the mission trip.
Telling them I want a guy who can/is willing to learn how to butcher a pig.
Maria + Ryne, Meg + the Dishwasher, Me + NOT CORRIE.
Talking about Thomas and how he's changed.
Realizing that Maria LOVES praise-band like nothing else.
Hearing about how Maria talked about me to Mr. Berg, saying I'm super cool. :)
Megan showing up in a skirt and sweatpants.
I'm going to miss them. It kind of sucks going to college. It's hard to think about everyone I'm going to miss.
6.11.2006
Golly Gee.
I don't understand.
How can..........*insert my thoughts here*.
Oh. Golly. Gee. Whiz.
I don't get it.
Cryptic, isn't it?
How can..........*insert my thoughts here*.
Oh. Golly. Gee. Whiz.
I don't get it.
Cryptic, isn't it?
6.10.2006
I Say And A Lot.
Once upon a time, in middle school, I went with some ELP kids (Caitlin Hammaker, Matt Rowell, and Cody Sherman) to a fish hatchery in Anchorage. And we got some fish to put in the tank in the ELP room. And the whole ride into Anchorage, no one talked. At all. Like, it was dead silent. And during the ride back, we played the Alphabet game. Then we got stuck on the letter "V" so we wrote "V" on a piece of paper and held it outside the window so we could say we saw it. And that happened as we pulled into the CMS parking lot. Then after that, Matt and Cody took over the fish, and Caitlin and I had nothing to do with them for the rest of the year, except look at them when we were in the ELP room.
And then I found twenty dollars.
And then I found twenty dollars.
6.05.2006
Things You May Not Know About Me.
1. I have a scar on my ankle from a bandaid.
2. I like silence with other people.
3. I think words sometimes become superfluous.
4. My favorite graduation present? My brother being here.
5. I'm impatient when it comes to waiting for God's timing.
6. Thousand Foot Krutch is my angry music.
7. I always cry when I'm at the altar praying.
8. There are certain people I don't always like spending time with.
9. Clue and Rummy are my favorite games of all time.
10. I still sleep with a Teddy Bear.
11. I really like my guitar, but can't really play it.
12. My favorite color combinations are brown and blue.
13. My favorite flip flops are red.
14. My first and middle names together mean "Happy Honey Bee".
15. Sometimes, I don't understand myself.
16. My fingers are very long and thin.
17. I own 25+ pairs of shoes and I collect thimbles.
18. My favorite place in the whole wide world is my house, specifically my bedroom, and Brad's bedroom. And our front place in our yard where we turn our cars around.
2. I like silence with other people.
3. I think words sometimes become superfluous.
4. My favorite graduation present? My brother being here.
5. I'm impatient when it comes to waiting for God's timing.
6. Thousand Foot Krutch is my angry music.
7. I always cry when I'm at the altar praying.
8. There are certain people I don't always like spending time with.
9. Clue and Rummy are my favorite games of all time.
10. I still sleep with a Teddy Bear.
11. I really like my guitar, but can't really play it.
12. My favorite color combinations are brown and blue.
13. My favorite flip flops are red.
14. My first and middle names together mean "Happy Honey Bee".
15. Sometimes, I don't understand myself.
16. My fingers are very long and thin.
17. I own 25+ pairs of shoes and I collect thimbles.
18. My favorite place in the whole wide world is my house, specifically my bedroom, and Brad's bedroom. And our front place in our yard where we turn our cars around.
The Problem.
I think I know what the main problem is with people these days:
They forget that it's not all about them.
Because, really, if people would remember that they are not the only people in the world, we would have less polution, less littering, fewer bad moods, and fewer crimes. People would be more willing to help those less forturnate than themselves. There would be more smiling in the streets and more pennies lying on the ground.
And I know that sounds all sun-shiney and happy and nothing will ever go wrong. And I sooo do not think that way, but if you stop and DO think about it, it's true.
I mean, I know that I forget that a lot too, sometimes, but I'm trying. And sometimes, I want it to be all about me, but even then I know that that isn't what Jesus wants. And sometimes, even, it's like I don't care what Jesus wants becuase I do what I want anyway. And it's hard to write/type that, but I know it's true, and that saddens me. It's so easy to get ladden down with the cares of this world, to forget every blessing in my life.
I forget how blessed I am.
They forget that it's not all about them.
Because, really, if people would remember that they are not the only people in the world, we would have less polution, less littering, fewer bad moods, and fewer crimes. People would be more willing to help those less forturnate than themselves. There would be more smiling in the streets and more pennies lying on the ground.
And I know that sounds all sun-shiney and happy and nothing will ever go wrong. And I sooo do not think that way, but if you stop and DO think about it, it's true.
I mean, I know that I forget that a lot too, sometimes, but I'm trying. And sometimes, I want it to be all about me, but even then I know that that isn't what Jesus wants. And sometimes, even, it's like I don't care what Jesus wants becuase I do what I want anyway. And it's hard to write/type that, but I know it's true, and that saddens me. It's so easy to get ladden down with the cares of this world, to forget every blessing in my life.
I forget how blessed I am.
Back Track.
To backtrack:
Friday night Brad flew in to surprise me for my graduation. It was soo cool. I had been thinking "Man, it would be so cool if Brad could be here, and Jeff." But I knew Jeff couldn't come because of his situation with Kayla, but I really wanted Brad here. And it turns out that like a month and a half ago, he and Mom and Dad set it all up. And everyone knew: Grandma and Grandpa, the Trouts, even Ashley Martin. I was so surprised. I jumped up and gave him a hug and started hitting him. Not hard, but in like an "Oh-my-gosh-what-are-you-doing-here" kind of way. It was incredible. What an awesome surprise. I love my family.
Saturday afternoon was GRADUATION. It was crazy...so surreal and funny. My favorite part, or two of my favorite parts were when everyone was walking around the track with the drum line playing. The drum line is seriously my favorite part of CHS. My second favorite part was when we all walked in and the teachers were all there. And I saw Mme, and she and I shared a silent moment in rememberance of the spectacular French years.
Sunday morning was church, and in the afternoon we had a little Open House type thing at Hannah's house. And we played Clue and had an awesome cake, and looked at pictures, and talked and took pictures and opened presents. And I ate a piece of cake with my name on it. Then we went BACK to church and Pastor Tom gave an invitation. So Mom, Dad, Brad, and I went up to the alter to pray for Jeff, and Grandma and Grandpa came, then a ton of other people came and laid hands on us, and we were all sobbing. And Mrs. Middendorf came, and when we were done praying, she just held me and I cried and cried on her shoulder. And she just held me. And I can't remember the last time anyone did that for me.
Today we went to Whittier. And I kind of wanted something to happen while we were in the tunnel just so I could see what the inside of the Safe Houses look like. And coming back it seemed like everyone (or mostly Dad) was in a bad mood. Then we get home, and Grandma starts to cry, and I don't know what to do, because it's just her and me and if anything, I'm supposed to be crying. Then we all played cards.
And here I am.
Friday night Brad flew in to surprise me for my graduation. It was soo cool. I had been thinking "Man, it would be so cool if Brad could be here, and Jeff." But I knew Jeff couldn't come because of his situation with Kayla, but I really wanted Brad here. And it turns out that like a month and a half ago, he and Mom and Dad set it all up. And everyone knew: Grandma and Grandpa, the Trouts, even Ashley Martin. I was so surprised. I jumped up and gave him a hug and started hitting him. Not hard, but in like an "Oh-my-gosh-what-are-you-doing-here" kind of way. It was incredible. What an awesome surprise. I love my family.
Saturday afternoon was GRADUATION. It was crazy...so surreal and funny. My favorite part, or two of my favorite parts were when everyone was walking around the track with the drum line playing. The drum line is seriously my favorite part of CHS. My second favorite part was when we all walked in and the teachers were all there. And I saw Mme, and she and I shared a silent moment in rememberance of the spectacular French years.
Sunday morning was church, and in the afternoon we had a little Open House type thing at Hannah's house. And we played Clue and had an awesome cake, and looked at pictures, and talked and took pictures and opened presents. And I ate a piece of cake with my name on it. Then we went BACK to church and Pastor Tom gave an invitation. So Mom, Dad, Brad, and I went up to the alter to pray for Jeff, and Grandma and Grandpa came, then a ton of other people came and laid hands on us, and we were all sobbing. And Mrs. Middendorf came, and when we were done praying, she just held me and I cried and cried on her shoulder. And she just held me. And I can't remember the last time anyone did that for me.
Today we went to Whittier. And I kind of wanted something to happen while we were in the tunnel just so I could see what the inside of the Safe Houses look like. And coming back it seemed like everyone (or mostly Dad) was in a bad mood. Then we get home, and Grandma starts to cry, and I don't know what to do, because it's just her and me and if anything, I'm supposed to be crying. Then we all played cards.
And here I am.
6.02.2006
My Thoughts.
Graduation tomorrow. And tomorrow is in like an hour.
I can't believe it's here. Graduation, I mean.
Grad practice today. Kind of lame. Meh. Had lunch with friends at Wendy's. Then we went to the park and found a necklace. And I bought a present for Darrin Minkler, because he said he would only come to my graduation if I bought him something. And Grandma, Grandpa, and I went to V-Ho for dinner, then to Wal Mart, then came home. And then we sat around. And then we played Rummy, and let me tell you, I am a Rummy master. It's like I'm a member of a secret Rummy club, and we meet at Midnight every Thursday and practice. That's how good I am.
Two nights ago, I spent like an hour talking to God about faith. And it was good. Then last night, we talked for another hour or so about purity. And how purity isn't just physical stuff, like abstaining from sex before marriage, but spiritually, and emotionally. And I think I failed in the last part in regards to the whole Corrie thing.
I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Just everything to do with that. And really, I'm never going to be able to seperate myself from him. I mean, I wasn't in love with him, but he was with me. And there are things I told him that I haven't told anyone else. Like, ever. So he has a huge part of my heart. And I'll never get it back. And I hate that. Because, really, I wanted to be able to give all of myself to my future husband, including every bit of my heart: The joy and the pain. I hate that he'll always be there.
I totally regret it. I mean, we didn't DO anything. Except talk. And I think the emotional hurt of relationships is just as painful as any physical pain there may be.
God showed me some purity verses last night. One of them, Psalm 91:10, is really cool: "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." It's like, since we're all sinful, only God can create a pure heart. It isn't something I can do myself. And I think a lot of times that I think it is. Then it says renew and how cool is that? God renews me. When I think I can go no further, He's there saying, "Here, I'll help you out." And BAM, I'm new again. And it's just sweet that He does that.
I can't believe it's here. Graduation, I mean.
Grad practice today. Kind of lame. Meh. Had lunch with friends at Wendy's. Then we went to the park and found a necklace. And I bought a present for Darrin Minkler, because he said he would only come to my graduation if I bought him something. And Grandma, Grandpa, and I went to V-Ho for dinner, then to Wal Mart, then came home. And then we sat around. And then we played Rummy, and let me tell you, I am a Rummy master. It's like I'm a member of a secret Rummy club, and we meet at Midnight every Thursday and practice. That's how good I am.
Two nights ago, I spent like an hour talking to God about faith. And it was good. Then last night, we talked for another hour or so about purity. And how purity isn't just physical stuff, like abstaining from sex before marriage, but spiritually, and emotionally. And I think I failed in the last part in regards to the whole Corrie thing.
I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Just everything to do with that. And really, I'm never going to be able to seperate myself from him. I mean, I wasn't in love with him, but he was with me. And there are things I told him that I haven't told anyone else. Like, ever. So he has a huge part of my heart. And I'll never get it back. And I hate that. Because, really, I wanted to be able to give all of myself to my future husband, including every bit of my heart: The joy and the pain. I hate that he'll always be there.
I totally regret it. I mean, we didn't DO anything. Except talk. And I think the emotional hurt of relationships is just as painful as any physical pain there may be.
God showed me some purity verses last night. One of them, Psalm 91:10, is really cool: "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." It's like, since we're all sinful, only God can create a pure heart. It isn't something I can do myself. And I think a lot of times that I think it is. Then it says renew and how cool is that? God renews me. When I think I can go no further, He's there saying, "Here, I'll help you out." And BAM, I'm new again. And it's just sweet that He does that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)