Coffee
And Homework
And Cold Blue Skies.

Skinny Jeans and Blankets.

And 55 Days.

And Conviction and Heart Talks and Humor and Silly Fights.

And Love.
Lots of Love.

G'Morning.

After staying up late studying, I slept through three alarms this morning.  I can't remember the last time I did that.

Highlights of Today at 6:57am:
- Red pants today
- I have a three-day weekend
- My Jeep is stuffed with food the girls collected for MYHouse
- Coffee is brewed
- The sun is already rising.

Oh, Lord. Let me dwell in You today. Let me shine for You. I choose You. I pour out my perfume, my desires, my feelings at Your feet. And I want to be filled with You.

Weekend Review.

I feel so challenged and refreshed and revived after the youth retreat this weekend. And to think I almost didn't go.

Bringing glory to God's name is not something we should just talk about - we should live in a way as to actually do that. In relationships. At work. At home. At church. In all things. Suffering for doing Good is GOOD. To Him be the glory.

Prayer cannot be about me. I must rightly relate to God.
- creation to Creator
- unholy to Holy
- daughter to Father
- slave to Redeemer
- guilty to Forgiver

Failing to relate rightly to Him leads to wrong prayer. "Lord, if I bring You more honor by being in this fire, then leave me here until You are done with Your plan. If you are rightly glorified by my suffering, allow me to suffer more. Lord, do not put me where You can use me. Put me where You will be lifted up by me."

Praying and Worshiping for hours with youth - so so good. Talking with them about their desires to serve Him awakened and renewed those desires in me.

The importance of living in community and the difficulty of doing that.

Isn't He good? Isn't He powerful and right and lovely and deserving of all worship and attention and preferences? Prefer Him.

Anniversary Prayer Calendar.

For months now, I've wanted to create an Anniversary Prayer Calendar so that I would be praying for my married friends and family. And tonight, I did!

I started by making little squares out of index cards. I ripped them so that they would have straight edges... plus I like the rugged edge.

Then I rummaged through my sticker collection and started putting the numbers on! I wanted my family's to stand out a little more, so I put them on bigger tags.

 I took some of my scrapbooking supplies to make a header for the calendar.  It says "Where there is great love, there are always miracles."  Isn't that so true these days? Any time someone is married for more than five or ten years, it's seen as a miracle. And marriage is nothing short of that - a miracle. Living with someone everyday for the rest of your life? All the forgiveness and compassion and patience necessary? Miracle.

I gathered all the wedding announcements and invitations I've been saving for such a time as this and recorded the bride and groom's names on the day they got married.

My mom even sent me the anniversaries of some couples from church!  I have 28 couples on my calendar right now. Fun fact - from my India Family that is married so far, Steve (and Shelly) and Daniel (and Leah) are on the 1st and Kyle (and Laura) and Hannah (and Galend) are on the 2nd. That means Jordan (and Daniel) and I should each get married on the 1st or 4th. Isn't that funny? 

So here it is. I spaced out the squares, added some brads and yarn to my siblings' and parents' days, and added the word "Pray" to the bottom. 

I'm really really happy about how it turned out!  Today - the 10th - had Emily and Matt on it. I loved spending today praying for them and their marriage!  For it to be strengthened, for them to grow together and in the Lord, for increased love, patience, and forgiveness between them.

What a special thing, to be interceding on behalf of my precious friends and family, for their marriages. I hope someone does that for me one day.

Praying For Family.

This is one of the first nights in weeks that I have gone straight home from work, without doing any errands, and have no plans whatsoever for the next four hours.  It feels really great, actually.

My apartment is clean, so I don't need to do that. I only have two things in my sink, so dishes will be a breeze tonight. I already have dinner cooked.

I could do anything tonight! Haha - so this is where the challenge comes in: what do I do?

Our church has been doing 7-days of prayer. Every night, people can gather at the church and pray. For whatever. For however long they want. Alone or not.

Mom and I prayed together last night, after Ms. Gayle prayed with us. I prayed mostly for my family - my brothers, their wives, my parents... and it shocked me how rarely I actually do that. How rarely I pray for their marriages and relationships and jobs and lives. How can I be a good sister to them if I am not even lifting them up before the Lord?

Dad.

Me and my Momma.

Paige and Brad.

Jeffy and Dana.

Shoes For Africa.

Probably the perfect Halloween.

I had my girls over - six of them - for dinner tonight. Soup and grilled meat and cheese sandwiches. We ate in my apartment, talked, laughed, and then... went shoe shopping.

We had the opportunity to buy shoes for an orphanage in Africa. So I encouraged my girls to bring a few bucks to buy some shoes for the kids. And they did.

So together, we drove to Wal-Mart. We ate candy from the candy dishes. We ran up and down the shoe aisles, counting money, totaling costs, replacing some shoes with others, before finally settling on thirty - THIRTY - pairs of shoes to send to the kids. What a delight, to see the girls agonizing over which shoes they thought would be best.

Pink sparkles for the girls, regardless of how practical they were.
Brown work boots for a little boy, because they were so cute.
Four pairs of $2.00 sandals for babies, because it is hot in Africa.

Then praying in Wal-Mart over the shoes, asking God to bless the feet that will wear them.

What a mighty God we serve.

My Friend.

So. So. So much love for this girl. What a blessing, talking with her tonight.

My heart is full and the Lord is faithful.

Lord willing, I will even get to see her in a couple of months. Huzzah.

What Is Your Favorite Part Of Your Body And Why?

Hmm...

There's a couple things I like about my body.  Can I name more than one?

I like my eyes.  They're green on the outside and brown on the inside.  In the picture below, I don't have any make-up on, but I like wearing a little bit of mascara.  My eyes have seen some things: children with AIDS, sunsets and beggars in India, the Valley from the top of a mountain.

I also like my fingers.  They are long.  Thin.  I have to wear my purity ring on my left index finger because it's the only one it fits on and will stay on.  But I like what my fingers can do: make Adobe forms, crochet, sew, climb on rocks, drive, point to things, serve.

If You Could Have Dinner With Anyone In History, Who Would It Be And What Would You Eat?

Mary.

The Mary from John 12:1 and following.  The Mary who poured the most expensive thing she owned - a half-liter of perfume - onto Jesus' feet - which were probably cracked and dry and dirty - and she wiped them off with what was probably one of the prettiest things about her - her hair.

What love. What worship. What devotion to the Lord Most High.

I would love to sit and eat bread and vegetables and hummus and talk with her about that.  Why she did that.  If she was scared.  If the boys teased her.  What her dad say about "wasting" something that could have fed so many people, or if that even was his perspective.

Did Jesus hug her afterward?  Was that culturally acceptable? Probably not.  But then again, Christ didn't really care about being culturally acceptable...

List Ten People Who Have Influenced You And Describe How.

- Mom and Dad. Teaching me about service, always being prepared, and how to properly eat ice-cream.  Life lessons to never forget.
- Katie K. Talk about a huge heart for the Lord and making Him known.  What an inspiration and what a great friend.
- Allen. Reminded me it's okay to just be silly and have fun. It's okay to tease each other and be teased in return.  Love seeing his heart with God.
- Kim. We haven't talked much since college, but she befriended me when I was mostly lost and wandering.
- Ms. Linda. She teaches me how to be an adult woman, finding her way in life while relying on the Lord time and time again.  She has endless grace.
- My GAs. They are so eager to share praises and prayer requests, something that gets lost as people grow up.  Those little things don't really "matter" anymore... when they do.  All of it does.
- My sisters.  Ha, oh the times we had in high school and now, beyond. We are all growing up, but I love being with them.
- Grandma. She constantly serves, always putting herself behind others. Sacrificial.
- India family. I think they were more important to me than I realized at the time. But they supported me in ways they don't even know.
- The ex-boyfriends.  That's odd. But they taught me what love is and isn't, what I do and don't want in an FH, and the importance of not settling.
- Joe and Janelle. Another example of a godly marriage. Another couple I can look up. They are so faithful to what God is calling them and their growing family to do.

Romans 8:28.

I guess, then, that the best place to start is today. Right now.

God has spoken Romans 8:28 into my life countless times over the last few days: through various radio stations, people, blogs, journals... it seems to be everywhere. "He works all things for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose." The thing that struck me the most: "... for THE good..." Not everything is good. But ultimately, everything is FOR good.

I know that I am supposed to pay attention. I know that something is coming. But what?

Praise God for His faithfulness, in spite of my ridiculousness and foolishness. He is always Good, and He always works for good.

From My Mom's Heart.

My daughter is the new leader of the missions program for 1st - 6th graders at our Church this year. Last night she handed all the girls a paper with information regarding their first lock-in of the year (and derby race), with information as to when, where, what, etc. This afternoon a message was left on our answering machine from one of the first graders. The message was actually composed of three messages as she ran out of time on each one. She was so concerned because this was her first lock-in ever. She asked for the “date of the lock-in…was it this week or next…on Saturday or Sunday or Monday or Tuesday….because she had gymnastics and might not make it or might have to cancel her class that night so she could go to the lock-in. Does she have to bring medicine? ‘Cause I don’t have to take medicine, so do I have to bring it? So teacher can you call me back because my sisters are going to gymnastics and I‘m going to stay here. I just wanted to talk to you about the lock-in because I don’t know when it is. So call me back…this is ------ and I don’t know what my phone number is, I hope you know. I just don’t know when the lock-in is because someone spilled something on my paper. And this is my first lock-in and my first derby race. (on the last of three messages she said)…I am so sorry…this phone is just not working…I‘ve tried two of your numbers and this phone is just not working….I‘m just so sorry. I just wanted to know just when is the lock-in? You can call me back at 6pm or 7pm or whenever.“ As she went down her list of concerns and questions we laughed and laughed…she was just so precious and concerned that she was going to miss something.

As I thought about her phone call later, I wondered how often we do this with God. Do we ask repetitive questions that we already have the answer to? Do we say how sorry we are to bother Him and then tell him when He can call us back to answer our questions? When He listens to us does He sometimes chuckle because we have such silly questions, or is He like my daughter who has such a heart for these girls, that a phone call like this just blesses her heart? This little girl had most of the answers she needed written down in front of her, but she just had to call and ask on her own. She wasn’t afraid or intimidated….because of the relationship already established, she knew she could ask anything and my daughter would answer her questions as if they were the most important questions ever asked.

Is my relationship so cemented with God that I can do that? Can I ask Him questions….even though most answers are already written down in His Word…..without any hesitancy or concern of what He will think? Am I confident enough in my relationship with Him that even if He does chuckle, I know that He loves me and will answer each and every question I ask? Can I ask for clarification because I am so afraid of this new experience in my life that I really need help? If I don’t know my own phone number or how things are going to work do I turn to Him for help and know that He will help me through it with love and patience? Do I remember that HE IS GOD…THE GREAT I AM with His own time schedule? Or do I demand His response at a certain date and time? When I don’t hear from him on that date and time do I think He’s forgotten?

Oh, Lord, help me always to be comfortable coming to You with ALL of my concerns and questions and fears. Help me to remember how very much You love me and care for me….enough that You sent Jesus just for me. Help me to remember that Your plans are perfect and just and that Your timing is perfect. Help me to read and study Your Word every day so I know the plans You have for Me.

Braces.

Metal Mouth.
Railroad Tracks.
Or, as Taig says, A Mouth Full Of Butterflies.

Christmas Music And Ice Cream.

This is life tonight:







Yummy Peanut-Butter/Chocolate ice-cream. And Christmas Music. And cutting fabric for quilting.

Today, I went thrifting: 4 sweaters and a bag.

I went to a movie by myself for the first time, too - something to which I've always had an aversion - and I loved it. The movie was lovely, and being by myself was nice, too. I talked to the random man who was waiting for the movie to start, who was also there by himself. He was about 50, so it was a little odd that he went to see "Breaking Dawn, Part 1" but who am I to judge?

And I soaked for about an hour in my boss' jacuzzi tub. Oh man. It was awesome. There's nothing quite like drinking a cup of coffee while soaking in a jacuzzi tub and reading "My Utmost for His Highest." It feeds every part of me: Physical, Spiritual, Emotional.

Tonight's Plans.

Quilting while listening to K-Love.

Lessons Learned, According To Melissa.

Don't be afraid to be the first one dancing in a group of people. They will enjoy your Sprinkler and Shopping Cart.

Purity does not mean you can only date one boy. Do not plan on marrying the first (or even second) boy you ever date.

Choose everyday to worship. Pray while you are flat on your face, back to the sky - you hear better that way, too.

Call your parents every week. They really do love hearing from their kids, no matter how "wayward" you think you may be. And be prepared to answer, "So what else is going on?" While I'm on this subject, call your grandparents, too. Better yet - write letters. Grandmas love letters. Unfortunately, I didn't fully realize that until I went to college. But it's never too late to start writing letters.

Write letters to lots of people - who doesn't love getting real live mail?

Accept it: life will NOT go how you plan. You might not work in a job for which you studied at school. You might not marry THAT ONE BOY. You might actually be the old lady with 15 cats someday. But it's okay. Because you can also accept the fact that God is still on the throne.

When boys named Ravi say you are a nice dancer and have a face like that of a European descendant, ignore him.

Allow yourself to be captivated: by sunrises, stars, Bible verses, cute shoes, the intricacy of a crocheting pattern, the colors of your own eyes.

Forgive. Let it go.

Don't be so caught up in Things On-Line that you aren't actively engaged in the life you are living. Likewise, don't be so caught up in What Used To Be that you miss What Is Now.

If you like it (and it's honoring to God) do it. Even if others think it is ridiculous. I'm thinking of dancing in a crowd of 8000 people, planking in public places, going on blind dates, acting like a hippie, taking random pictures. Enjoy it. Those times make the best stories later on.

Learn to tell a good story. It can be real or not. But make sure you know how to catch people's attention and keep it. It keeps you and others from being bored, fills awkward silences, and makes you quite popular with the ages five and under crowd.

And don't date a boy who doesn't like listening to made-up stories! If you don't think he would appreciate that side of you, or any other side your personality - however ridiculous it may be - don't date him. What will you have to talk about when you are 65 and it's just the two of you?

As Mom always said, "It's easy to fall in love with the wrong person." So true. Listen to my Momma.

Be good at something creative. Not professional level, necessarily, but be really good at it. It can be reading, writing, story-telling, painting, beat-boxing, knitting, etc. Own it.

Get some sleep. More than you think you need. Whatever IT is you are doing, it can wait until tomorrow. Chances are, you'll enjoy it more then anyway.

Today In Bullet Points.

* Reading to a third grade class, and receiving great affirmation through it. So much fun.
* Being encouraged by the Principal that I am doing a good job.
* A wonderful conversation with a fellow teacher about the Lord and being able to trust Him.
* Going to the gym: running, working on my 6-Pack, elliptical.
* Coffee with my Pastor's wife about how Christ is the center.
* Plans to have breakfast at Bagel's Alaska tomorrow.

Lovely.
Thanks, Lord. You are ever Faithful.

To My Reflection In The Mirror.

Dear Melissa,

This is my last letter. What an interesting journey these letters have taken me on. I've been forced to think about some things. And Melissa, I think you are stronger now. Stronger, and more in love, and more aware.

Looking in the mirror, I have to say - you are beautiful. You are professional. You are a teacher who can and does change lives. You make a difference. Right now, you have a cold and don't feel well, but you are still lovely and worth it.

You can do it.

Dream big. Bigger! Keep dreaming. But include other people in those dreams. And help others achieve their dreams, too. Encourage, don't damper them.

Don't beat yourself up anymore. Do what you love and love what you do, regardless of what the number on the scale says. Zumba your heart out, run if you want to, and keep working on that 6-pack. You can do it. When you set goals, keep working even when it gets hard. Just because something is hard, that doesn't mean you should stop. Remember? Chris taught you that. Persevere. It's worth it.

Look to the future, but don't forget the past; that's how you learn.

Love,
Melissa

To Someone That Changed My Life.

Dear Tahmee,

You changed my life. Did you know that? Will you ever know that? If I return to your home in South Africa, will you remember me? Will you allow me to hug you?

You were two years old and you had AIDS. You didn't smile, didn't laugh, didn't play until I had been there a few days, consistently smiling at you. Then you... changed. Never the same, from what I saw. How did you change my life? More than anything, you are the one who opened my eyes to the transforming power of love. I now believe that, by golly, love can do anything. Love can change anything. There is more power in love than anything else.

I hope you are happy and healthy. I hope you are adopted one day. But more than anything, I hope that you come to the saving knowledge of Christ so that you can experience His transforming love, too.

Yes, those are my hopes for you.

Sometimes I am caught off guard by how our lives are so different. How you were chosen to be born in Africa, to an ill mother who did not want to take care of you, or who was unable to take care of you. How I was chosen to be born in Alaska. But by the grace of God, our lives still crossed paths.

Beautiful, precious Tahmee.
Love,
Moleesa.

To The Person I Know That Is Going Through The Worst Of Times.

Dear friends at OBU,

PLEASE don't die in this snowstorm. I know, it is the worst of times. But you will survive. You will make it through the nearly week off of school, the playing in the snow, the hot chocolate and sledding. You are survivors. You're gonna make it. You are survivors. Keep on survivin'.

My advice? Play outside with friends. Take epic pictures. Dress really cutely. Chalk a wall. Make a snowman. Don't let this time pass you by because when it's gone, all you'll want is for it to come back. Trust me.

Go on an epic hunt for Frosty. Make a snowdog and put a leash on him. Make a snowangel army.

Praise God for the beauty around you, for digital cameras and internet, for warm boots and warm apartments/dorms.

And do your homework! Read. But don't stress over it.

Mostly, have fun and be creative.
Love,
Melissa