Highlights From The Week.

Well, there you are.

-Awesome interview at Stone Bridge!
"If we offer you the job next week, how would you react?"

-Call from Journeyman
This included an interrogation about Chris and an informal invitation to conference in February.

-Running. Lots of running.
Goal: Run everyday until I leave. So far, so good!
Goal: By Saturday, December 5, run 3 miles. CHECK! 3.1 today. Hello, Mr. 5K!
Goal: By Saturday, December 12, run 4 miles.

-Mission Center party tonight.
Kathleen... so happy. Spent most of the evening with her, decorating and eating sugar cookies, coloring, writing with the same color markers, listening to the puppet show, giving her the picture of us.

-Procrastination on homework...
Until last night.

-Good eye-opening conversations with people.

Mind Change.

I remembered tonight why I like OBU. And it really isn't because of OBU. It's because of Mission Center.

Kathleen wasn't at home when we went to her house, but her Mom dropped her and Madison off at the building. When I arrived, Kathleen saw me and literally yelled my name and ran to me. I caught her in my arms, spun her around, gave her a HUGE hug, and talked with her. Oh, that girl... third grade, in the top 5% of the nation. So amazingly sweet, funny, and caring. I love her and will miss her terribly. We even got to talk to her mom for a while.

I just... man.
I got a letter from Sydni today. At the VERY end, she wrote, "'Take courage! As you have testified about me in Jerusalem, so you must also testify in Rome.' - Acts 23:11B... Why God has you where He has you!" And I mean, that just hit me.

I may not want to be at OBU. But there is a reason I am: so that I can testify about Him. Who am I, really, to decide where I want to be and when, when the God I serve is so much bigger and greater?!

Friendship Rock.

While walking back from taking the kids home at Mission Center tonight, Chelsea, Jessica and I started kicking a rock. We kicked it over halfway back to the Mission, then into the gym. Then we stood in a triangle kicking it to a each other.

Jessica decided she did not want to take it to China with her upon graduation, but we felt like we needed to do something with it.

So we took it outside by the rose bush.
I dug a hole.
Jessica placed our Friendship Rock in the hole.
Chelsea replaced the dirt, then covered the hole with rose petals.
Then we took pictures.

It was very... excellent.

Come Thou Fount.

My heart is so heavy tonight. I feel as though I am being defeated, breaking under the weight of my world and the world around me. I feel as though my knees are buckling under the pressure, as though my arms are drooping as I try to hold them up high. It's tiring, overwhelming, and overcoming.

Mission Center tonight ended with a very somber feel. The whole night was just off... different than normal. One precious little girl just turned eight and was excited about her new shoes... the kinds with the wheels in the heels.

And another girl... her life is so fraught with sadness. Her lip was bruised and broken open, peeling almost. Her dad told her to wear long sleeves to cover a wound she later showed me. Her clothes don't fit and she wears flip flops in 30 degree weather. She confided that her mother went to prison this week, just for a day or so, but that the police came and took her away. She doesn't trust the police. She bumped her mouth on the playground, and while it should not have hurt much, she cried and complained about it the whole way home. When I told her dad about it, he said, "She's a tough girl. And she's teaching the twins [her younger brothers] to be tough."

Why does a seven year old girl need to be tough? Why can't she just cry about it? What has happened in her life that makes it necessary for her to be tough? And how is is that she is teaching her brothers those things? What do they see behind closed doors?

Gangs. Mothers fighting. Drugs. Prostitution. Drinking. Potential abuse. Hurt families. Excitement over going to McDonalds.

I created a Pandora station based on Bella's Lullaby, by Carter Burwell. The first song that came up was "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing."

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing, Tune my heart to sing Thy grace; Streams of mercy, never ceasing,Call for songs of loudest praise. Teach me some melodious sonnet,sung by flaming tongues above. Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Sorrowing I shall be in spirit, Till released from flesh and sin, Yet from what I do inherit, Here Thy praises I’ll begin; Here I raise my Ebenezer; Here by Thy great help I’ve come; And I hope, by Thy good pleasure, Safely to arrive at home.

Jesus sought me when a stranger, Wandering from the fold of God; He, to rescue me from danger, Interposed His precious blood; How His kindness yet pursues me
Mortal tongue can never tell, Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.

O to grace how great a debtor Daily I’m constrained to be! Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, Bind my wandering heart to Thee. Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love; Here’s my heart, O take and seal it, Seal it for Thy courts above.

O that day when freed from sinning, I shall see Thy lovely face; Clothed then in blood washed linen How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace; Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away; Send thine angels now to carry Me to realms of endless day.

How is it possible to praise God in times like this? When everything about the world seems to be attacking me? I guess its called Spiritual Warfare. We are being attacked. God is about to move in abundant and extreme ways. Satan wants to incapacitate us.

So I suppose the real question is "How is it NOT possible to praise God in times like this?" I feel as though my faith is the size of a mustard seed... but even that can move mountains. And even a mustard seed is compared to the kingdom of God.

It hurts, knowing their lives are like that... filled with battles for their attention, love, and spirits. It saddens me in a way nothing else has ever. Seeing relationships disintegrate because of home life. That is not God's desire.

Daydreams From God.

Once again, Mission Center worship was wonderful tonight. Right after Brett started playing his guitar, I was just kind of sitting there, looking down, and I saw a really random red plastic heart, like a confetti heart. I picked it up, and put it in the middle of my hand, then just started thinking about Christ's hands being pierced for me, how the blood represented love, just like how a heart does.

I held it there the rest of the night.

The songs we sang... I just realized how PERSONAL God is, how intimate He is in what He does. So, singing, I was just picturing myself with God, sitting on a pier, spending time in His word, watching the sunrise over the ocean. I saw us climbing a mountain together, laughing about something random, Him helping me over the last hard peak before we surveyed His creation together.

I saw Him, dressed as the King He is, standing in the middle of His court, surveying the crowd before Him. Then He sees me, dressed in rags, covered in filth, trying to hide from His majesty and grace. He comes over, offering me His hand, and as we dance around the crowded hall, my dress transforms into one that is so beautiful, making me the princess that I am in His eyes.

I saw myself worshiping Him in heaven, just broken before Him, but knowing that I am accepted as is, broken and lifeless without Him.

Cworgs.

Last Friday at Mission Center, Kathleen (age 7) and I had the following conversation while walking home, after seeing a dog with no tail on our way to Mission Center:

Kathleen: I'm sure glad I'm not a dog with my tail cut off!
Me: What if you were? What would you say?
Kathleen: I'd say "woof! woof! woof!" [laughs]
Me: [laughs] Really? I'd say "WOOF!!! WOOF!!! WOOF!!!" I wouldn't want them to cut off my tail! I'd be scared! [laughs]
Kathleen: [laughs] Oh, me too!
Me: What if you were a little dog, like a chihuahua? What would you say?
Kathleen: "Yip! Yip! Yip!" [both laugh]

Conversation continues with other animals getting their tails cut off: cats ["MEOW!!! MEOW!!! MEOW!!!], birds ["SQWACK!!! SQWACK!!! SQWACK!!!'], lambs ["BAA!!! BAA!!! BAA!!!"], cows ["MOOO!!! MOO!!!! MOOOOO!!"], horses ["NEIGH!!! NEIGH!!! NEIGH!!!"], zebras ["MMMMM!!! MMMM!!! MMMMM!!!"], giraffes [neither of us were sure about that one, so we decided they would just move their necks around a lot], and worms [again, not sure. We discussed whether they had a tail, or whether their whole body was a tail].

Me: Kathleen, what would you do if you saw a cow with a dog for a head and a worm for a tail?
Kathleen: [laughs] I don't know!
Me: I think I would scream... like this! [yells; laughs]
Kathleen: [laughs] I think I would too!
Me: What would you call it? You can't call it a cow because it has a dog head. You can't cal it a dog because it's attached to a cow. And you can't call it a worm because it's connected to the cow body and dog head!

[Come up with various names: cog, worg, dow, etc.]

Kathleen: I know! I'd call it a CWORG!!! [both laugh and marvel at the brilliance of the name]

For the record, this is a cworg:

Listening To Narnia Beckon.

SO many things to blog about, so little time: 5 tests this week, "Dead Week"...whatever. 2 down, 3 to go.

Last night was my last Co-Chair Monday night meeting for Mission Center. Praise God. It was such a good time of worship. So in-tents, especially with the thunder and lightning going off outside through it all. What an awesome display of God's glory. It lit up the sky, just like that little baby in the manger lit up the world so many years ago.

Kristina called me right after the meeting started, so I left and talked to her for 10 minutes or so. It was so good. I miss her. We have sister plans, which include a sleepover and Sisterhood of Pants movies, and potentially making our own version of the movie.

I'm SO mad at Canada right now.

Christmas shopping is fun. I love buying presents that I know people will really like. Then they open it and are like, "Wow! I love it!" That makes me happy.

I wore my personality T-shirt today:




Yeah, I dominate. Ha. But not really. I'm such a dork.

Dem Bones, Dem Bones, Dem Dry Bones.

Mission Center last night was really, truly, fantastic. One of the best Mission Center nights in forever... Tink was missing - not sure where she was... which is weird. But the rest of it was awesome.

I colored with Kyle, a picture of a little boy dinosaur wearing boots, who was going to be eaten by a big dinosaur wearing roller skates, so we had to smother the little dinosaur in colorful ketchup. Then we drew a city, with doors and windows, and helicopters on the roof of every building, shooting bullets at the big dinosaur. And we drew a road. It's pretty much an awesome picture. I'm going to put it on my wall.

I planned all of the evening's activities, from the lesson about Ezekiel and the bones in chapter 37 to the bone game, to the verse activity, to the self-portrait puppet craft.

They were all eyes and ears during the story, gasping and laughing, and flexing their fingers along with me. And the game - thanks to Amanda's idea - was a HIT! They are all learning the song and verse, and loved coloring their bag puppets.

It was just FUN. I felt like a real teacher, planning every activity for my students.

It was complete confirmation that teaching is what I am meant to do.
Yay.

Ladybugs Perch On My Cheek.

November.
NO!!! Vember.

ha. wow, I am internally laughing really hard about that. Kind of sad, really, that that makes me laugh so hard. I went and saw High School Musical 3 today (for, yes, the second time in theaters) and still laughed out loud. There were times when I was the only one laughing.

Seeing that movie makes me really appreciate my boyfriend. He is teaching Sunday School again tomorrow, and is sitting next to me preparing for it.

I was a hippie yesterday for Halloween and for the Mission Center party. I got a peace sign painted onto my cheek at our party... and it won't come off. It's still there, even though I hardcore washed my face and took a shower, trying to scrub it off. I feel bad for all the little kids who had their faces painted, because I know their facepaint probably didn't come off, either.

We currently have a ladybug problem in Kerr. They are everywhere. People keep complaining about it, but I would rather have ladybugs than snakes or rats. Ew, rats. Two of my girls had a mouse in their room the other day... I would have freaked out, probably. I do when I see them in the barn and chicken coop at home.

We grilled tonight, me and Shaun and some of our friends. At one point, they started asking us about when we met and our first dates and our favorite and least favorite dates. It was funny, talking about the good and the bad. They laughed a lot, and we did, too.

Seems that my posts lately have been so random and conglomerated. I guess that's what my life is like right now.

Mission Center Blessings.

Mission Center has been such a blessing this semester. Maybe it's because I haven't been able to go as much (due to things like Biggie and my parents being here). But when I am there, it's so amazing.

I taught the kid's lesson this week about Davey and Goliath. We only had 8 kids, but we split them into two groups: The Philistines and the Israelites. Each kid had a carper square on which to sit, and when I mentioned "Philistine" or "Israelite" they cheered, depending on their team.

And I told the story really animatedly. I had the kids make facial expressions with me of anger and fear, and I showed them how tall Davey was compared to Goliath, and we talked about how we would all be scared to fight Goliath.

But then we talked about how God gave David courage, and how David knew that God would give him success, so he wasn't scared. And we talked about how God can help us beat the "giants" in our lives, like bullies on the playground and obeying our parents even when we don't want to.

It went SO well. The kids didn't pick on each other or even TALK during the lesson except in response to a question. Our craft was making shields (and we wrote Proverbs 3:5-6 on them) and they loved it, especially when I said we could put glitter on them.

And Kathleen and I hung out. I love her so much, and her sweet spirit.

I even got to see Tink for a few minutes.

Mission Center on Friday was... awesome.

I was tired and slept on the way to the city, then when we got there I was grumpy, and no one was cooperating, so I was snappy with the group. Not good. But we split into our groups and started walking around, picking kids up.



When we got to Kathleen's house, she came RUNNING out, and ran to me. I gave her a huge hug (I missed her!!) and she just stood by me the whole time we were at her house. Then she asked me to carry her, so I did.



I carried her on my back the whole way, and sometimes we talked, but sometimes she just hung out back there. She is such a precious girl... top student in her second grade class. She loves Hannah Montana and has the sweetest heart of anyone I have ever met.

All the kids play on the playground when we get there. I played tag for a LONG time with Yessica and Roberto. The girls love showing off their monkey bars skills, especially Hannah:



We went inside for the lesson, and while Hannah was running around instead of sitting down, the rest of the kids listened pretty well. Kathleen sat with me the whole time, and she was quiet, like she was really letting the words sink in about Jesus healing a man with leprosy.



Then it was craft time! The kids colored pictures of the story. Kathleen and I colored together with her little cousin Kyle. At one point, Kyle grabbed a marker and started scribbling all over my picture, which was sad, but fine. Then he started to scribble on Kathleen's picture. I told him to color on his own page. And he did.

But Kathleen was quiet for about 10 minutes, just coloring and thinking. And all of a sudden she looked at me and said, "I forgive Kyle for coloring on my page. I know I need to, so I do. He didn't do it to be mean. I forgive him." Then she went back to coloring.

I was speechless. Literally. I just looked at her. This little, beautiful girl, age seven, who lives in a neighborhood where the last thing most kids learn about is forgiveness... and she forgave her cousin for ruining her picture, just like that.

How many times in my own life have I known that I needed to forgive someone and not done it? How many times have I withheld that forgiveness? And why? WHY? What a lesson learned... forgiveness. And Jesus did it on the cross.

Kathleen gave her picture to me, and I gave mine to her. She colored the one on the left. I wrote her a note on the back about what an awesome girl she is. And I'm going to hang mine up in my room.



God teaches me so much about life through the kids at Mission Center. We go to teach them, but I feel like they are the teachers rather than me. I guess it's life and to some extent, I'll always be a student. Kathleen's words... they keep ringing in my ears... "I forgive Kyle... I know I need to, so I do." So matter of fact. So pure. So undeniably Christ at work in her.

Mission Center.

We returned to Mission Center tonight... all 54 of us OBU students for the 28 kids that came. I loved it.

The freshmen were brilliant... they were involved, active, and I could tell they just loved it. During Circle Time, one freshman girl referred to the group as "us" and "we" and it made my heart SO happy to hear that she already includes herself in that.

And the kids...
Blake can walk! He doesn't need his wheelchair at all anymore, except for school and "just in case". He walked all the way home from Mission Center for the first time ever. And he spent the hour and a half there just sitting in Tina's lap, playing with her hair. He gave her a kiss on the cheek. She was so excited about it, and I am too! Jessica told us that last summer, his wheelchair was stolen, and they couldn't afford to get a new one, which he needed before he could return to school. One of the news stations heard about it, did a story, and in one night they raised enough money to buy him a nice new chair and a little tricycle to ride around. What a God thing!

Kathleen is so beautiful... she is top in her second grade class! She has such a huge heart and I can't wait to see even more how God is going to use her. She knows the Fruit of the Spirit verses by heart and can recite them back to us. She is growing into an girl/young lady. She loves reading, Hannah Montana, math, and her family. And I love that she loves us. She came up to me, and I carried her most of the night. Oh, I love her.

And Desiree and Katie... those girls... wow. So much energy. They very clearly like Mission Center.

And Andy, Yessica, and Roberto. How did I live for three months without seeing them!

Tink is locked up again. Her mom said she would be back home on Wednesday. That girl... she needs so much prayer and love, and I don't know if I have enough to give her. It's so hard sometimes. But in the hard times, that's when I know she needs it the most.

God is working in the neighborhood, in the lives of those that live there. And I have a role in it. I contribute.

I am amazed.

Proud.

I think that there are more important things in life than Civ.

I am upset that I got a B+ on the exam.
Which is a LAME thing to be upset about, seeing how there are people dying all over the world and there are so many other things I should worry about.

I also think, though, that I care more about making my parents proud - being better than Brad and Jeff at something - that I forget what really matters in my life. Yes, I have gotten a 4.0 the last two semesters. However, if I do not get another 4.0, my life will NOT be over.

But I also think that I really want to make my professors proud. I want them to see that I work hard at what I do, that learning is important to me, and that I care about what they have to say. So when I think that they do not see that, I feel like I let them down. And I don't want to let them down.

Really, I think I have this thing with wanting to make other people proud. Which, I decided, is not bad at all. But it is not where my focus should be. If I try my best - am a good RA, a good employee, a good friend, a good girlfriend (though Dr. Armond saw my purity ring and asked if Shaun and I are engaged today during our meeting), a good Mission Center leader, a good AWANA leader - if I do my best at those things, then Jesus Christ will be evident in my life.

And all I REALLY REALLY REALLY want is for Him to say, "Hey, good job, my faithful servant! Welcome to Paradise!" when I die. I really don't think God will be like, "Well, you got a B+ on a Civ exam - you're going to face eternal damnation now."

Walking Home In Joy.

Friday, after Mission Center, carrying Kathleen home (who is six or seven), we were talking about joy...what the kids learned about that night. And we had the following conversation:

Me: So what did you learn about tonight, Kathleen?
Kathleen: Um...joy.
Me: So what's joy? Is it the same as being happy?
Kathleen: No... it's different than being happy. It's like... it's like a happiness that only God can give that doesn't go away.
Me: Do you have that joy?
Kathleen: Yes.

Then we practiced saying Galatians 5:22-23, the Fruit of the Spirit verses (that's the series we are doing with the kids at Mission Center). So we said it together normally a few times, and we said it as quickly as we could, and we said it as quietly as we could. And she tried saying it, and did fairly well. More practice will come, but pretty good for week three of learning it.

It made my heart so happy that she paid attention, and listened, and was learning the memory verse. I remember last year she was so quiet... would only talk to Marci, pretty much. But now, she runs around, playing tag, listens during the lesson. I usually carry her home, and we always talk. I love her.

I love seeing how she's growing. All of the Mission Center OBUers feel the same way.

Weekend.

This has been a fantastic weekend. Very... filling and fulfilling.

Yesterday was the CML retreat. And now... I realize that leading Mission Center is a bg deal, but I'm really excited about it. Something that Tony Tyler said that struck me was that every kid in Oklahoma City has a story. They all have a life story that will always be with them. And to think that we have the opportunity to play a part in their story, however small and insignificant or big and impressive it may be, it amazing. To think that God gives us the opportunities to make their stories better... to fill their stories with more love... that's amazing to me. What story do we need to impress upon them? The story of the cross. They need to see that story in our lives, lived out, loved out.

Hanging out with Kim on Saturday was nice. Lunch at Benedict Street, then Old Navy.

I saw Dr. Armond at Benedict St. and he mentioned my shooting pictures on facebook... awkward... but really really really funny.

I spent my gift cards and got... black dress pants, a light green dress shirt, a green sweater, an orange and white striped shirt, a black clutch, and a white and blue striped night shirt, which, when I went to the bathroom this morning before my shower, a girl thought was a regular dress. She thought it was cute, and thought that I was wearing it to church. :)

And church this morning... The best I've been to in a long time. The church I usually go to here, Calvary, is nice. The people are friendly enough... but no one seems like a really mature Christian. No one seems excited about what they're doing. It seems like they're all just like, "Oh, church again..." and I don't like that.

But this morning...
I went with Kelly, Bruno, Tom, Danielle, Taylor, Galend, Kyle, Ashley and Danielle's brother and cousin to LifeChurch in Edmond. They go there every week, and I decided to join them. The people there... they knew. They knew that it's real - that God is real and that we can have a real relationship with Him. I mean, I saw people raising their hands in praise, down on their knees... I saw a man with one arm raise his arm, eyes closed, singing at the top of his lungs.
And isn't that what church is about? It's about being there - being real before God, being vulnerable with our arms out, eyes closed. It's about meaning what you're singing about, being sincere in worship, not holding back. That's what's been missing in my church experience. That realness.

Classes start tomorrow. I am excited and intimidated about this semester. It will be fun - classes, observing, RAing, Mission Center... but I know it will be busy. Lots of time managament will have to come into play.

Also - "Here (In Your Arms)" by hellogoodbye makes me laugh.

All Is Well...Well, Kind Of.

I'm excited about the way things are going.

My time at home was fantastic. Exactly what I needed to get through the rest of the semester. I saw my brothers in Seattle, which was a huge blessing too.

And now, one more week of classes, then finals.
I can't beleive how fast this semester has gone.
I can't believe how fast this whole YEAR has gone.

It's the first day of the last month of 2007.
It's Rochelle's birthday.
It's expensive sandwich day with Kim at Benedict Street.
It's Hanging of the Green and the CAB/ARA banquet.

I have a lot to do - lots of reading - but it's okay. I'm excited to read Milton's "Paradise Lost". I think it'll be good.

I finally found jeans that are long enough, so I bought (well, Mom bought) me three pairs from AMerican Eagle. They're fantastic.

Cora was at Mission Center last night, and she LOVED her Christmas present and card, which was good. We talked for a while, and I gave her a hug and told her I love her and that I'll miss her. Because I do and I will. Mom didn't understand why I wanted to give her a present even though she hurt me so much, but...I still love her. She's still my friend.

How many times do we hurt God and He always blesses us and loves us anyway?

Also, I love curly hair. A lot.

The Perils Of Mission Center.

So, MIssion Center Friday night...

SO GOOD.

When we picked up Kathleen, she had just gotten up from a nap, so I started carrying her. Like 15 minutes into me carrying her, Amy says, "Kathleen, you have something in your hair..." and she goes to pull it out, but it won't come out. And Amy turns to me and says, "Melissa, I think she has lice."

So then, later, we're at Mission Center, and this little girl is sitting on my lap, and she stands up...and there are two wet spots on my lap. She PEED in my lap. No joke. SO GROSS.

But then...Amanda came in and said, "Melissa, Tink is here and she's looking for you!" So I run outside and Tink sees me, and she runs up and gives me a huge hug, and it was so cool. She hadn't been at her house when we stopped by, but she had come to the mission and...it was just cool. We hung out the rest of the night, just talking and such. It was SO good. Then we walked her home and talked to her outside her house for a while.

And I don't know, but I can't explain how much it meant to have her be so excited to see me.

So we get back to Shawnee after Mission Center and Laura, Shaun and I go to Walmart and I buy lice shampoo and wash my hair, and have people check my scalp, and so far everything is good. Then today I went to the nurse and she looked all over my head and said that my hair is beautiful and my scalp looks amazing and there is NO way I have lice. Yay!

Update.

First Civ test done. Phew.
I wrote until halfway down the last page and included Parker's Olive Garden coloring menu and apparently Dr. Sanders laughed and said it was a pleasant surprise. :)

I start obvservations on Thursday. I'm nervous. Seriously.

Flag football was last night. We lost. We're in A League and the girls on the other team were seriously HUGE. We had four or five girls get hurt. It was so cold. I had on my OBU sweatpants up until I went onto the field and a coat and everything.

I can't type. I keep hitting wrong keys and too many keys.

I'm in charge of craft this week at Mission Center. No idea what I'm going to do. What kind of craft do you make with inter-city kids who know more about drugs and alcohol and gangs than they do about Jesus?

I am so blessed.

Brad comes home this week from Iraq. I am so excited, even though I might not see him until Christmas. I hope he finds a way to come to Oklahoma and visit me. Maybe I'll take him out to coffee so we can talk...about lots of stuff. I can't wait to see him again.

I watched "Saved by the Bell" a lot the last few days. I'm done with season three and will start season four next. And I slept for over an hour...while my clothes were washing and drying downstairs. It was beautiful. I love naps.

I need self-discipline and self-restraint. The girls laughed at me when I said that in staff meeting yesterday.