Coffee
And Homework
And Cold Blue Skies.

Skinny Jeans and Blankets.

And 55 Days.

And Conviction and Heart Talks and Humor and Silly Fights.

And Love.
Lots of Love.

On My Mind.

Things on my mind lately:
- Allen's birthday (tomorrow!)
- Acteen's purity retreat (this weekend)
- Getting my braces off (date TBD)
- Extravagant grace
- Wedding invitations (in the mail as of today!)
- Changing friendships
- School (halfway through my 3rd semester. After this semester, I'll be halfway done with the program!)
- Suits (Allen's suit for the wedding cost $7.50 at a thrift store.... and it was brand new.)
- Titus 2
- Snowshoeing
- Living room forts

Parents.

Within the last three weeks, as I vacationed first with my mom and then with my dad, I was reminded of what a beautiful life I live. I am blessed with parents who love the Lord, love each other, love me. I am reminded that though I am getting married, I will always be their daughter. 

What a delight. 

Dress Shopping.

Magical. 

Mom and Grandma and I went. 

Only two stores, but dozens of dresses. 

So excited. 

24 In Review.

I've been thinking about this post: 24 Things That Happened While I Was 24.

1. I broke my leg. In three places. On an island. And had to wait two weeks before I could have very invasive surgery to get it fixed. That surgery included inserting a metal rod into my tibia, placing about 5 screws in my leg, and being in various casts for three months.

2. I applied to Johns Hopkins. And was accepted.
3. I started and finished my first class. And got an A. And now I'm taking two more and I love them.
4. Two of my favorite bosses of all time left the District. And we got two replacements. The Lord is teaching me to love them.
5. The Lord gave me a "Front Row Seat" to the work He is doing in the lives of my middle through college-age girls at church. And, as this blog reminded me, I am so not needed in that.

6. I won $8.00 for my crocheted creations at the Alaska State Fair! Ha. And I took a pottery class.

7. I write a weekly newsletter and this year, it went National. It is now received by four or five different states.
8. I learned to be dependent on people for everything. Even going to the bathroom and bathing.
9. I lived on my own. And I loved it.
10. I moved back home. And I loved it.
11. I learned that there is a time for everything.
12. I've made substantial progress in paying off my Jeep.
13. I made the decision to honor God with my money (and have been reading this book to help).
14. Allen and I celebrated our one-year dating anniversary. And I was constantly challenged by his selflessness, his compassion, and his silliness.

15. I planned and executed a conference for 100+ staff members in the school district.
16. I started memorizing James (and am about 4/5 of the way through!).
17. I cut off all my hair! And I don't think I'll ever go back to long hair. And I was told I look like Anne Hathaway and Julia Roberts, circa "Hook."
18. I flew to Arizona and surprised my Grandpa with a visit. I hadn't seen him in about two years.

19. We celebrated the third annual Lemonade Stand on the Butte.

20. I worked as a model. By that, I mean I posed for some pictures for my friend Jade. Through that experience, I learned I am more business-professional than whimsy.

21. Our church finished the new sanctuary and I helped move chairs into it.
22. I learned the importance of just loving on people. And I felt the opposition that comes from that.
23. My momma became more than a momma. She became my friend.

24. I started sponsoring Cwangco, a little girl who lives in Africa, through World Vision.

Here's to the next year of being 25!

Money And Moving.

This is my last week in my apartment. I've spend the last 5 days slowly packing things in my apartment, making trips to move things home to my parents' house, helping clean my bedroom there, and still living life.

I've been slightly obsessed with this website: www.moneyunder30.com and the advice they offer to "kids" in my situation - 20-somethings, with jobs, out of school, trying to figure out life financially. And though it isn't Christian-based, they talk a lot about living debt-free, how to calculate if you can afford a home, setting budgets, etc.

Money sees to be a taboo thing in the church. Not many people like to talk about tithing, budgeting, love offerings, debt... but so many young Christians graduate from college, not knowing what to do next.

Thanks be to God, I am in no way strapped financially right now. And I have some good financial goals:
- Pay off my car by the time I am 27
- Complete grad school without taking out student loans
- Begin saving for a downpayment on a house

When they couldn't renew my lease on my apartment, I wasn't sure what to do. But moving back home? Right now, I think that's good. I'm looking forward to spending more time with mom and dad before they leave the state, and helping them with things while I can. I'm excited to save money so that I can accomplish my goals.

And I'm excited to learn how to honor God in this area of my life!

Anniversary Prayer Calendar.

For months now, I've wanted to create an Anniversary Prayer Calendar so that I would be praying for my married friends and family. And tonight, I did!

I started by making little squares out of index cards. I ripped them so that they would have straight edges... plus I like the rugged edge.

Then I rummaged through my sticker collection and started putting the numbers on! I wanted my family's to stand out a little more, so I put them on bigger tags.

 I took some of my scrapbooking supplies to make a header for the calendar.  It says "Where there is great love, there are always miracles."  Isn't that so true these days? Any time someone is married for more than five or ten years, it's seen as a miracle. And marriage is nothing short of that - a miracle. Living with someone everyday for the rest of your life? All the forgiveness and compassion and patience necessary? Miracle.

I gathered all the wedding announcements and invitations I've been saving for such a time as this and recorded the bride and groom's names on the day they got married.

My mom even sent me the anniversaries of some couples from church!  I have 28 couples on my calendar right now. Fun fact - from my India Family that is married so far, Steve (and Shelly) and Daniel (and Leah) are on the 1st and Kyle (and Laura) and Hannah (and Galend) are on the 2nd. That means Jordan (and Daniel) and I should each get married on the 1st or 4th. Isn't that funny? 

So here it is. I spaced out the squares, added some brads and yarn to my siblings' and parents' days, and added the word "Pray" to the bottom. 

I'm really really happy about how it turned out!  Today - the 10th - had Emily and Matt on it. I loved spending today praying for them and their marriage!  For it to be strengthened, for them to grow together and in the Lord, for increased love, patience, and forgiveness between them.

What a special thing, to be interceding on behalf of my precious friends and family, for their marriages. I hope someone does that for me one day.

Praying For Family.

This is one of the first nights in weeks that I have gone straight home from work, without doing any errands, and have no plans whatsoever for the next four hours.  It feels really great, actually.

My apartment is clean, so I don't need to do that. I only have two things in my sink, so dishes will be a breeze tonight. I already have dinner cooked.

I could do anything tonight! Haha - so this is where the challenge comes in: what do I do?

Our church has been doing 7-days of prayer. Every night, people can gather at the church and pray. For whatever. For however long they want. Alone or not.

Mom and I prayed together last night, after Ms. Gayle prayed with us. I prayed mostly for my family - my brothers, their wives, my parents... and it shocked me how rarely I actually do that. How rarely I pray for their marriages and relationships and jobs and lives. How can I be a good sister to them if I am not even lifting them up before the Lord?

Dad.

Me and my Momma.

Paige and Brad.

Jeffy and Dana.

Shoes For Africa.

Probably the perfect Halloween.

I had my girls over - six of them - for dinner tonight. Soup and grilled meat and cheese sandwiches. We ate in my apartment, talked, laughed, and then... went shoe shopping.

We had the opportunity to buy shoes for an orphanage in Africa. So I encouraged my girls to bring a few bucks to buy some shoes for the kids. And they did.

So together, we drove to Wal-Mart. We ate candy from the candy dishes. We ran up and down the shoe aisles, counting money, totaling costs, replacing some shoes with others, before finally settling on thirty - THIRTY - pairs of shoes to send to the kids. What a delight, to see the girls agonizing over which shoes they thought would be best.

Pink sparkles for the girls, regardless of how practical they were.
Brown work boots for a little boy, because they were so cute.
Four pairs of $2.00 sandals for babies, because it is hot in Africa.

Then praying in Wal-Mart over the shoes, asking God to bless the feet that will wear them.

What a mighty God we serve.

Apartment.

I'm moving into my own apartment the beginning of October.

I'm excited, but I think I will miss this - this living at home with Mom and Dad, being with other people, not being alone. Dad is not real happy that I'm moving out.

It's a new phase, you know? That's all. Not bad, just different.

Describe Your Family Dynamics Of Your Childhood Versus Your Family Dynamics Now.

When I was a kid, it seemed like everything was about my brothers - Brad being successful and going to West Point, Jeff graduating and joining the Army... and I was just.. there.  For a long time, I think I was just there - doing my own thing, flying below the radar.

I'm sure that wasn't true.  But I was a good kid, and did pretty well pretty easily in school, and played with dolls, and tried to play baseball.  I was quiet and read a lot.  And since my brothers seemed to hate me, I mostly stuck to myself.

And really, it wasn't until I was about 21 that my brothers realized I am a contributing member of society. I think they sometimes still don't remember though.  It makes it hard to even have an adult conversation with them when they don't remember you are (almost) in your mid-twenties, have a job making as much money as them, paid off student loans, and purchased your first brand new car.

Maybe it's because I still live at home.

For a long time, I didn't think my parents were proud of me.  Brad and Jeff overshadowed all I did, for the good or the bad.  But now, I think they're getting there.  Or maybe they were there all along, and I'm just now catching up to it.  That's more likely.  

Describe Three Significant Memories From Your Childhood.

I feel like I've covered some significant childhood memories already, what with my love note to Mikey and all.  But I'll try to think of three new old ones.

- Mom told me to wait, but I started walking down the stairs anyway.  And I don't know what happened - maybe there was a toy in the way.  Or maybe my feet just stumbled.  But somehow, all of a sudden, I was tumbling down the stairs.  And then...I landed at the bottom and the pain hit.  Dad took me to the ER and they took X-Rays before wrapping my four-year-old arm in a bright pink cast.  I had to shower with a plastic bag over my arm, and I couldn't go out to play, but everyone signed my cast. That was my first real injury - the first trip to the ER that I remember.
- Mom and Dad gave me Molly for Christmas when I was in fourth grade. I loved her. That next January, we went to my Grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary.  I took Molly with me. I remember - very specifically - sitting in the hotel room with my Grandma, showing her my doll, sharing how special Molly was and thinking, "Of course Grandma loves Molly!"  And now, I think she loved that moment with me much more than she liked the doll.  I miss her.  I wish I had written her more letters before she passed away.
- One summer, Dad coached my baseball team.  I was awful.  I mean, really really terrible.  I got hit by the ball nearly every time I was up to bat that season, couldn't catch or throw well, but enjoyed hanging out in the dugout and on the field!  That season solidified the fact that I have very poor hand-eye coordination, that I prefer individual sports to team sports, and that I'm a better cheerleader than MVP.

List Ten People Who Have Influenced You And Describe How.

- Mom and Dad. Teaching me about service, always being prepared, and how to properly eat ice-cream.  Life lessons to never forget.
- Katie K. Talk about a huge heart for the Lord and making Him known.  What an inspiration and what a great friend.
- Allen. Reminded me it's okay to just be silly and have fun. It's okay to tease each other and be teased in return.  Love seeing his heart with God.
- Kim. We haven't talked much since college, but she befriended me when I was mostly lost and wandering.
- Ms. Linda. She teaches me how to be an adult woman, finding her way in life while relying on the Lord time and time again.  She has endless grace.
- My GAs. They are so eager to share praises and prayer requests, something that gets lost as people grow up.  Those little things don't really "matter" anymore... when they do.  All of it does.
- My sisters.  Ha, oh the times we had in high school and now, beyond. We are all growing up, but I love being with them.
- Grandma. She constantly serves, always putting herself behind others. Sacrificial.
- India family. I think they were more important to me than I realized at the time. But they supported me in ways they don't even know.
- The ex-boyfriends.  That's odd. But they taught me what love is and isn't, what I do and don't want in an FH, and the importance of not settling.
- Joe and Janelle. Another example of a godly marriage. Another couple I can look up. They are so faithful to what God is calling them and their growing family to do.

What Are Five Things That Make You Most Happy, Right Now?

- Serving at my church.  My GAs are so delightful.  I know I say that all the time, but God has really blessed my time with them.
- My relationship with Allen.  Everything just feels so normal and easy and comfortable, like I've always known him, and he's just been waiting in the background.  Does that make sense?
- My Jeep! AKA, the BEAST! I love this thing.
- Summer :)
- The Word.  It is refreshing and wonderful.

List Ten Things You Would Tell Your 16-Year-Old Self, If You Could.

- Watch the birds.

- Embrace life.  Stop thinking what others think and just be yourself.

- Don't date someone seriously your freshman year of college.

- Pray more.

- Don't lose your passion for the Lord - He is so good. 

- Write your Grandma more letters.  Few things are more important than that.

- Here's a head's up: You are going to go to Africa and fall in love with it.  Don't settle for a boy who doesn't love missions as much as you do because it ends in heartbreak.

- Don't be afraid of failing.  You won't be perfect at everything. 

- Work hard to graduate with honors - you won't regret it.

- But you will regret not making stronger friendships in college. Invest in those.

Describe Your Relationship With Your Parents.

I live at home, so my relationship with them is mostly good.  It's hard being nearly 24, still living at home, but I am so thankful that they let me!

My mom and I are closer - she asks me questions about my life (and I'm not one to talk about what's going on unless someone asks).  I think she knows how silly and random I can be - and I know she loves me for that.  She has always been so supportive - when I wanted to go to Africa and India, she was just like, "Welp, God will provide."  And I know she prays diligently for me.

My dad provides like no other.  Almost every birthday or Christmas for the last I don't know how long, I have gotten a gun, knife, or bullets from my Daddy.  He doesn't ask a lot of questions, or respond to them when I ask, but I know he is so darn proud of me: for graduating summe cum laude, for paying off student loans, for buying a car.  He is so giving and loving.

I think they sometimes don't know what to do with me: my passions are different than theirs, and so are my "life goals" and dreams.

They make me laugh, my parents do, and I praise God for putting me in a family with parents who still - after 32 years - passionately love one another, who still kiss in the kitchen (even when I say, "EWW!"), who still like to hold hands.

I have great respect for them.

Work And Love.

I got a raise at work.

Well, technically, I got a new job: Business Systems Analyst.

I could spend time saying, "This is NOT how I anticipated my life going!" or I could rejoice in God's provision and blessing and Greatness.  I'll choose the latter.  Let me brag on Him for a while:

The Father is so darn Good.  I mean, let's get real.  Within two years of graduating from college, all of my student loans are paid off and I purchased a brand new car off the showroom floor at the car dealer. My parents have continued to let me live at home. Relationships are growing and I am co-leading the youth mission trip again this summer.

He has blessed, as He always does.

I get another raise at work on July 1.  My goal is to have my Jeep paid off by the time I turn 27.  That's doable.  Because of my recent purchase, however, I may wait until fall to find my own place.  Get the start of my car payments under my belt.

I am loving living at home lately - it's been fun to spend time with my parents and see them live life as a couple still totally in love, after nearly 32 years. Aren't they SO cute?!

I want a love like that - where I can be totally myself, absolutely comfortable and happy with the person, and confident that they feel the same way.

PS - my birthday is in two weeks!

From My Mom's Heart.

My daughter is the new leader of the missions program for 1st - 6th graders at our Church this year. Last night she handed all the girls a paper with information regarding their first lock-in of the year (and derby race), with information as to when, where, what, etc. This afternoon a message was left on our answering machine from one of the first graders. The message was actually composed of three messages as she ran out of time on each one. She was so concerned because this was her first lock-in ever. She asked for the “date of the lock-in…was it this week or next…on Saturday or Sunday or Monday or Tuesday….because she had gymnastics and might not make it or might have to cancel her class that night so she could go to the lock-in. Does she have to bring medicine? ‘Cause I don’t have to take medicine, so do I have to bring it? So teacher can you call me back because my sisters are going to gymnastics and I‘m going to stay here. I just wanted to talk to you about the lock-in because I don’t know when it is. So call me back…this is ------ and I don’t know what my phone number is, I hope you know. I just don’t know when the lock-in is because someone spilled something on my paper. And this is my first lock-in and my first derby race. (on the last of three messages she said)…I am so sorry…this phone is just not working…I‘ve tried two of your numbers and this phone is just not working….I‘m just so sorry. I just wanted to know just when is the lock-in? You can call me back at 6pm or 7pm or whenever.“ As she went down her list of concerns and questions we laughed and laughed…she was just so precious and concerned that she was going to miss something.

As I thought about her phone call later, I wondered how often we do this with God. Do we ask repetitive questions that we already have the answer to? Do we say how sorry we are to bother Him and then tell him when He can call us back to answer our questions? When He listens to us does He sometimes chuckle because we have such silly questions, or is He like my daughter who has such a heart for these girls, that a phone call like this just blesses her heart? This little girl had most of the answers she needed written down in front of her, but she just had to call and ask on her own. She wasn’t afraid or intimidated….because of the relationship already established, she knew she could ask anything and my daughter would answer her questions as if they were the most important questions ever asked.

Is my relationship so cemented with God that I can do that? Can I ask Him questions….even though most answers are already written down in His Word…..without any hesitancy or concern of what He will think? Am I confident enough in my relationship with Him that even if He does chuckle, I know that He loves me and will answer each and every question I ask? Can I ask for clarification because I am so afraid of this new experience in my life that I really need help? If I don’t know my own phone number or how things are going to work do I turn to Him for help and know that He will help me through it with love and patience? Do I remember that HE IS GOD…THE GREAT I AM with His own time schedule? Or do I demand His response at a certain date and time? When I don’t hear from him on that date and time do I think He’s forgotten?

Oh, Lord, help me always to be comfortable coming to You with ALL of my concerns and questions and fears. Help me to remember how very much You love me and care for me….enough that You sent Jesus just for me. Help me to remember that Your plans are perfect and just and that Your timing is perfect. Help me to read and study Your Word every day so I know the plans You have for Me.

Tuesday Tribute.

Day with my Dad.

Well, afternoon with my Dad. We don't do that often. I don't know why not. Just busy, I guess.

I had a consultation in Anchorage for a surgery I am having done next month. He went in with me to talk to the surgeon also. On the way in, I asked him about what kind of guy he thought I'd end up marrying... and it was really interesting to hear his thoughts. Apparently he and my mom talked about it recently. He talked about (according to him) how old he think the guy will be, what his personality will be like, how he should be taller than Brad and Jeff so that he's not intimidated... how he'll want to do missions and will be outgoing. Really cool.

We got there WAY early, so we went to the mall :) He bought Mom a birthday card, and I bought shoes, and he bought a calendar. Ha.

The consult itself was fine - they couldn't find my video/X-Rays, but assured me they would look at them before the surgery. Phew, right?!

Icecream, pepperoni sticks, and a gun store on the way home - that's how we roll.

So thankful for my Dad, who can communicate his favorite thing about my Mom, who clearly loves me and wants the best for me, who speaks truth and encouragement into my life.

Lessons Learned, According To Melissa.

Don't be afraid to be the first one dancing in a group of people. They will enjoy your Sprinkler and Shopping Cart.

Purity does not mean you can only date one boy. Do not plan on marrying the first (or even second) boy you ever date.

Choose everyday to worship. Pray while you are flat on your face, back to the sky - you hear better that way, too.

Call your parents every week. They really do love hearing from their kids, no matter how "wayward" you think you may be. And be prepared to answer, "So what else is going on?" While I'm on this subject, call your grandparents, too. Better yet - write letters. Grandmas love letters. Unfortunately, I didn't fully realize that until I went to college. But it's never too late to start writing letters.

Write letters to lots of people - who doesn't love getting real live mail?

Accept it: life will NOT go how you plan. You might not work in a job for which you studied at school. You might not marry THAT ONE BOY. You might actually be the old lady with 15 cats someday. But it's okay. Because you can also accept the fact that God is still on the throne.

When boys named Ravi say you are a nice dancer and have a face like that of a European descendant, ignore him.

Allow yourself to be captivated: by sunrises, stars, Bible verses, cute shoes, the intricacy of a crocheting pattern, the colors of your own eyes.

Forgive. Let it go.

Don't be so caught up in Things On-Line that you aren't actively engaged in the life you are living. Likewise, don't be so caught up in What Used To Be that you miss What Is Now.

If you like it (and it's honoring to God) do it. Even if others think it is ridiculous. I'm thinking of dancing in a crowd of 8000 people, planking in public places, going on blind dates, acting like a hippie, taking random pictures. Enjoy it. Those times make the best stories later on.

Learn to tell a good story. It can be real or not. But make sure you know how to catch people's attention and keep it. It keeps you and others from being bored, fills awkward silences, and makes you quite popular with the ages five and under crowd.

And don't date a boy who doesn't like listening to made-up stories! If you don't think he would appreciate that side of you, or any other side your personality - however ridiculous it may be - don't date him. What will you have to talk about when you are 65 and it's just the two of you?

As Mom always said, "It's easy to fall in love with the wrong person." So true. Listen to my Momma.

Be good at something creative. Not professional level, necessarily, but be really good at it. It can be reading, writing, story-telling, painting, beat-boxing, knitting, etc. Own it.

Get some sleep. More than you think you need. Whatever IT is you are doing, it can wait until tomorrow. Chances are, you'll enjoy it more then anyway.