CrossWalk.

So, CrossWalk today. And it was...I don't know. God worked in it. In me, at least.

It rained all morning. And pretty much all afternoon and evening.

But, it's like, I knew that God wanted me to do this CrossWalk thing. And I knew that no matter what, even if I was the only person, I would carry the cross by myself. But Jen came, and Megan, and that was all. And a guy came from church to take pictures, and suggested that we postpone it.

I don't think people realize what CrossWalk is about. I mean, Luke 9:23 says to deny yourself, take up your cross daily and follow God. It doesn't say, "Only if it's sunny, and the birds are singing and you can wear shorts and a T-shirt do you have to deny yourself. Any other time, forget about it." It says DAILY. As in, every 24-hour period, this needs to be done. Denying yourself is about forgetting about your soaking shoes, and jeans wet from the knees down. It's not caring about your stringy hair and too small raincoat. To deny yourself is to realize that nothing is more important than God.

And I think people forget that. A lot.

So when the Virginia kids arrived at Carrs to CrossWalk, they were so not looking forward to it. It being carrying the cross from Carrs to Wonderland. They did not want to do it in the rain. Or at all, I think. So I told them this:

"CrossWalk is all about Luke 9:23, where Jesus tells the people to forget about themselves, and take up their cross and follow Him. And I mean, I grew up in a Christian home, and asked Jesus into my life when I was five. But even then, I didn't know what it meant to live out that verse. Last May, I was chosen to go to North Carolina to pick up the very cross that is in the back of my truck right now. And the entire weekend I was in NC, I still didn't know what CW was about. People kept saying how it had changed their lives, but I didn't get it. The final night, we had to talk about what we wanted to do with the cross in Alaska. And I came up with something about 'binding the church together'. And then the time came for us to take the cross and walk it off-stage. So we picked it up. And we struggled. Not because it's heavy, per say, but because it's awkward. I mean, it's a cross. So we start walking down the aisle of this chapel we were in. And everyone in there stands up, and they start to clap and cheer and kids are crying and screaming. And all I can think is, 'Wow...I feel like a rock star. Everyone is clapping for me...look at me deny myself and take up my cross. Man, I feel great.' Then it's like a brick hit me, opening my eyes. Because I realized, finally, that they weren't clapping for me. They were clapping for the cross, for the One who died on the cross, and for Who came off of the cross and rose three days later. I relized that CrossWalk is all for Him. Not for me. And guys, I'll be honest with you. I'm not too thrilled about doing this in the rain. I'd rather do it when it's nice and sunny and beautiful outside. But think about this: how much easier would it be to do this on a nice day? Satan knows that God changes lives with CrossWalk. He changed mine. And Satan does not want us to do this. That's why it's raining. But you know what? I'm not going to let rain stop me from following my God. I'm going to deny myself, and learn to deal with wet pants and shoes. If none of you want to do this, I'll carry the cross myself, like Jesus did for me. CrossWalk is about denying yourself, forgetting what you want to do, and doing what God wants, regardless of everything that goes with it. So I want you guys to think about what you're willing to give up: dry clothes? A warm bus? Are you willing to CrossWalk for God? I'm not going to make you do this, but think of the sacrifice Jesus made for you on Calvary. What will your sacrifice be?"

I know that's really long, trust me I said it (or something like it) three different times to three different buses. And I was crying towards the end. I just wanted them to get over themselves and see that CW isn't about them being comfortable. It's like, God doesn't move a stationary object. And I know that for me, I don't want to be stationary any longer. I have been for enough time. I'm through with being a rock that gathers moss.

So by the end, almost every kid had on a plastic garbage bag for a rain poncho, and they all came and gathered around the truck. I led us in a prayer, and they picked up the cross and took off. And almost as soon as we even got to the Parks, the rain had stopped. It's like, when Satan saw us actually going, he knew that nothing could stop us. And that felt really good.

I don't know if they learned anything. I did, though. It's funny how God uses the words He speaks through me to others to teach myself something I need to know.

We carried a cross to Wonderland Park. Wet jeans and shoes had never felt better. And I loved it. All of it. I hope, I pray, that if nothing else, they'll think about what I said. And remember that. And I hope and pray that God will just work in them. And me. He knows I need it. A lot.

So I don't think we're doing anything else with CW at my church, but I there's something I want to do on the Butte, just me and God, and hopefully my parents will let just me go. I think it's important that I do this. Before I go to college. Preforably when it's raining. Because...I have some things I need to deal with. And the Butte will be a nice place to do it.

I think I'm really in love with my God, and as hokey as that may sound, it's true.