Dear Mean Person Who Egged My Car:

Why?
Jealous of the Alaska license plates? You should be.
But really, thank you.

Thank you for not slashing my tires, keying my car, breaking my headlights, funneling the gas out of my tank, or attempting to break in. I don't understand you, but that's okay. Maybe you were bored. Or drunk. Or saw something you didn't like on facebook. Maybe I know who you are. I think I might.