Don't Tell Me Let Go.

Again, I'm Over It.

I've been thinking a lot lately about worship, the battle going on for me, and choices I have in worship. God deserves my best. The hardest thing in that is being aware of when I am giving Him my best and when I am not.

Worship music, continuously, but just certain songs.
"Hallelujahs" - Chris Rice
"Meteor Shower" - Owl City
"I Will Believe" - Nicole Nordeman
"The Sun and the Moon" - Mae
"Search Me, Know Me" - Jonah 33

"The great thing about choosing to worship something other than God is that I can choose to change that and make it right again." - C.L.

Sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, talking. Sharing life. I fell asleep while watching "Peter Pan." We invented dinner together. I enjoy cooking with him. Everything is done so deliberately, from crushing the Ramen to his thought process that leads to straining the vegetables. He thinks through everything. I don't. I drove the truck from the basket on top. No records exist of this. I didn't know what to do, so eventually he took over again and showed me the ropes, so to speak. "Hey this is my girlfriend... yeah, that was out of the blue." Chase waved from the window next door, making me laugh. I think that was Tim standing by the truck, or maybe Ian. Huh. They lingered until I told Chris goodbye and drove off. Do they remember me?

Socks. Boots. Snow. Walk. Moose. Chocolate moose. Chocolate gun. Knife. Throwing knife. Tree. Hiking. Moose. Chocolate moose... Full circle in my mind.
Is it really that interesting? It's tiring sometimes. I wish I had fewer connections, and yet, if I did, I'm sure I would wish for more. That's how it works. You wish for something until you get it. The grass isn't always greener. The stars are not always clearer. Love is not always greater or easier. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Time will only tell you and no one else.

The walk was fun, but I wish it had been clear. There were no clouds in the valley when I got home. The stars shone brilliantly in the sky. I took my Snuggie and a chair outside and read Psalm 18. Then... no shooting star. Sigh.