Sometimes

Sometimes, I wonder what I was thinking when I did something. Of course, I always wonder that after it happens. Why can't I think and act at the same time?

Then I wonder, what was God thinking when He made me? That isn't really an accusatory question, but, like, did He think, "I know Melissa will have a hard time with this, but I'm going to put it into her life anyway because I want her to learn this from it."? Or, "If I make Melissa like this, she's going to get really prideful, so I'm going to make her like this instead."? I don't know.

God made me. I know that. He made how I look. So did He make how I act? That's part of my DNA right? Or does the world I live in basically make me act how I do? Do I act or react? or proact?

Sometimes, I wish I were a hermit living in the mountains so that I didn't have to deal with stuff. But I know I can't. And that sucks.

God put me here, right now, and He put this stuff in my life for a reason. I guess what I do with it is up to me. I need wisdom.