I think I'm a hypochondriac. Seriously. Like, if I hear of a disease where a person's leg turns green and falls off, I will totally think my leg has a slightly green tinge, like I am heading towards one-legged disaster slowly but surely. It's sad, really.
Is calling yourself a hypochondriac included in being a hypochondriac?
We're going to the Trout's for dinner again tonight. It's like my third time to their house for a meal in like a month and a half. It'll be fun. I love their family. Mrs. Trout started crying on Sunday, I think she was thinking about me leaving. I seem to have a crying effect on people. And Carli and I decided to play cards and "bet" again. Ryne is...I don't know. He's nice, but I don't really know him. And I mean, I teach Carli in Sunday School pretty often, and the only time I really see Ryne and am acknowledged by him is in Sunday School. And really, it's lame how you know someone, but when you are they are with other people, it's totally like, "And, who are you again?"
I had a doctor appointment this morning. Not to worry, no critical diseases, though I did have a fever and we don't know why. Maybe it's some incurrable disease. Haha. Just kidding. I had to get a shot today, though. And I don't really mind shots, but it's super weird when you can feel the liquid from the shot going into you.
Another thing. By being a non-conformist, aren't you conforming? Because if no one conforms, then everyone doesn't conform. And by not conforming, aren't you conforming to everyone else? Just a thought.
Sometimes, okay, most of the time, I get so caught up in this world. And I forget that in a thousand years, when I'm praising Jesus in His presence, with Him like looking right at me, and I'm just lost in His beauty and His love, it won't matter that in my anthropology class, I currently have a C-. It won't matter that I'm failing US Government. It totally won't. And I forget to think about things like that because I have a really bad memory, but it's true. And that's a sweet thought.
I'm so excited to be with Jesus. The whole idea of people coming back after death as like rocks and fish, the whole reincarnation thing, it's kind of depressing. I mean, why would you WANT to come back as a tree when you can just spend forever with the Lord who created everything? And my Pastor's wife, Linda, she brought up a cool praise in church on Sunday. And that's that, if I were the only person to ever be created, God would have spent the exact same amount of time and love on creating the sunrises, and the stars, and turtles, and platypuses. And He still would have sent His Son just for me. And who can hear that and not think that God is the greatest God ever? I mean, did Buddha do that? What about Muhammad? And Moses? No.
This one girl at school, Allison, she's kind of my friend. Anyway, today she found out that her friend in California committed suicide. And I can't help but think how things would have turned out differently if she had just ignored Satan's lies that she isn't good enough, that things will never get better, that the only way out is to end things. Imagine if someone had come into her life and spoken to her the truth: The truth that Life comes from God, that He loves her more than she can begin to comprehend, that His love is unending, pure, and holy.
Then I think, what if it's up to me to tell people about God, people who have so much dispair in their lives that suicide is an option for them? Where do I start? It's so easy to type what I could say, but to actually say it is another story. What if they laugh at me? What if they don't get it? What if they, what if they, what if they,... There are so many what-ifs.
2 Timothy 1:7-10 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me His prisoner, but share with me in the sufferings for the gospel according to the power of God, who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began, but has now been revealed by the appearing of our Savior Jesus Christ, who has abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel..."
I know, I know. So why do I act like I don't know?
I guess I forget how truly incredible God is. I think that when you've been saved since you were young, or even after the initial joy rubs off, you forget how awesome it is that GOD, the GOD of the universe!!!!!, saved you. I know I'm called to live in joy, but I don't know how to. So if you are reading this and can help, please leave me a note, or something.
So that's all. I've officially, for the time being, emptied my mind, except for a few rants I have, but no one wants to hear about those. I'll talk to God about them. So yeah.
Okay.
Bye.
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