9.26.2007

Not-So HAPPY WEDNESDAY.

Today is HAPPY WEDNESDAY.

But it is not, in fact, a very HAPPY WEDNESDAY.
I don't know why.
I'm just not feeling it.

I know, I know.
It's HAPPY WEDNESDAY.
I have to make it a HAPPY WEDNESDAY.

But part of me doesn't even want to.

I kind of just want to cry.
To crawl into my bed and cry.
And then have someone come and sit and hold my hand while I cry.
But... that isn't going to happen.

Let's waste time.
Chasing cars.

I miss my home.
I miss my Mom and Dad.
I miss my cat and my dog.
I miss walking in my front door at home, the new front door, on the new front porch that isn't done yet, with the new interior that isn't done either.

I miss my life at home.

I miss working with Cody and Azzy.
I miss eating lunch with my Mom.
I miss shooting with my Dad.
I miss just talking to my Mom everyday.

I miss my church family, I miss not being a part of what's going on at home.
I miss being in the youth group, being one of the kids.

I want to go home.

I never felt like this last year.
Last year, I was so excited to be on my own, to be away from home, to be ME, not my parents' kid. But now...I guess the novelty is gone and I'm done.
I won't go home home again until next summer.
I won't see the green carpet in my room and my blue walls until I'm almost 20.
I won't see Molly until then, or my thimbles, or my Hope Chest.

I'm home-sick for the one of the first times since I came to Oklahoma.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Once you start missing it, it makes home so much more appealing. I know what you are talking about.

Home sickness hurts. And there is nothing you can really do. I would just sit and listen to sad songs and wallow in my sadness- not helpful.

But hey! Anytime you wanna talk: I am here!

I love you. You are amazing. And I miss you, so much!

Kristina Huling said...

My HAPPY WEDNESDAY wasn't entirely happy either... I had a physics test that was awful. I think maybe it's more the fact that we acn be happy anyway, even if non joyful things are going on in our lives.

I know this probably won't help any, but I miss you.

Anonymous said...

Hi Melissa, its Sammy. I am very sad you had a sad happy Wednesday. I did not have a happy Wednesday either. Maybe we should reschedule happy Wednesday... - I hope your weekend is getting better, sammy.