Sometimes I like to just sit in my room with the door closed and no music on and the lights off, not to forget the world is out there, but to remember that there is a world inside of me.
A world of fear and disappointment, but also a world of hope and yearning and life and love. It's a world where I am free to do and be and say what I want. It's a world where no one's opinions matter because mine and God's are the only opinions present.
I like to forget who I am - a sister, a daughter, a best friend, a girl friend, an RA, an Awana leader, a mission center volunteer. I like to forget those things and just be me sometimes. The me without the labels attached.
11.07.2007
11.06.2007
Overwhelmed By The Beauty Of God.
Hall Bible Study was good for me last night. Granted, only two girls came out of the 19 on my hall, but that's okay. I love those two girls - they are so dedicated and so encouraging to me.
I didn't really know what we were going to talk about until about, oh, 7:30 pm - half an hour before Bible Study started. But I was praying, and God just put worship on my heart. So I found some verses, then decided that I needed to worship. So I got my guitar out and played for a good 20 minutes for the first time in a while.
We studied Psalm 95:1-7
In the Message it says:
"Come, let's shout praises to God, raise the roof for the Rock who saved us! Let's march into His presence singing praises, lifting the rafters with our hymns! And why? Because God is the best, High King over all the gods. In one hand He holds deep caves and caverns, in the other hand grasps the high mountains. He made Ocean - He owns it! His hand sculpted the earth! So come, let us worship: bow down before Him, on your knees before God, who made us! Oh yes, He's our God, and we're the people He pastures, the flock He feeds. Drop everything and listen..."
I love that. I love it.
It shows that worship is not a passive thing. It's so active - shouting, raising roofs, marching, singing, lifting the rafters. This is so joy and spirit filled, it's amazing. And yet... when was the last time I worshiped like that?
It shows why to worship God...because He holds the lowest and the highest points in His hands. Because He made the ocean, the earth, and us! And for the God who made me to enjoy the fact that He made me is kind of cool.
Worship isn't something we always FEEL like doing. You know? Sometimes you're in such a bad mood and just want to sulk and be miserable that you don't WANT to feel better and you know that by praising God, you will feel better...so you don't want to. Even though God deserves our praise 24/7.
In a book I have called "I Believe", there is a page or two dedicated to worship and it has a quote from Matt Redman, author of "The Unquenchable Worshipper". It says:
"Sometimes it comes down to a simple choice. We may be hard-pressed on every side, weary and not able to sense God. But then a choice faces us - to fix our eyes on the circumstances or to cling to God and choose to worship Him even when it hurts. The heart of God loves the offerings of a persevering worshipper. Though overwhelmed by many troubles, they are even more overwhelmed by the beauty of God."
I love that.
"Though overwhelmed by many troubles, they are even more overwhelmed by the beauty of God."
I want to be overwhelmed by Him beauty.
I want it to be more about Him and less about me.
I want to be a light - His light - declaring His glory.
I want to be a persevering worshipper.
I didn't really know what we were going to talk about until about, oh, 7:30 pm - half an hour before Bible Study started. But I was praying, and God just put worship on my heart. So I found some verses, then decided that I needed to worship. So I got my guitar out and played for a good 20 minutes for the first time in a while.
We studied Psalm 95:1-7
In the Message it says:
"Come, let's shout praises to God, raise the roof for the Rock who saved us! Let's march into His presence singing praises, lifting the rafters with our hymns! And why? Because God is the best, High King over all the gods. In one hand He holds deep caves and caverns, in the other hand grasps the high mountains. He made Ocean - He owns it! His hand sculpted the earth! So come, let us worship: bow down before Him, on your knees before God, who made us! Oh yes, He's our God, and we're the people He pastures, the flock He feeds. Drop everything and listen..."
I love that. I love it.
It shows that worship is not a passive thing. It's so active - shouting, raising roofs, marching, singing, lifting the rafters. This is so joy and spirit filled, it's amazing. And yet... when was the last time I worshiped like that?
It shows why to worship God...because He holds the lowest and the highest points in His hands. Because He made the ocean, the earth, and us! And for the God who made me to enjoy the fact that He made me is kind of cool.
Worship isn't something we always FEEL like doing. You know? Sometimes you're in such a bad mood and just want to sulk and be miserable that you don't WANT to feel better and you know that by praising God, you will feel better...so you don't want to. Even though God deserves our praise 24/7.
In a book I have called "I Believe", there is a page or two dedicated to worship and it has a quote from Matt Redman, author of "The Unquenchable Worshipper". It says:
"Sometimes it comes down to a simple choice. We may be hard-pressed on every side, weary and not able to sense God. But then a choice faces us - to fix our eyes on the circumstances or to cling to God and choose to worship Him even when it hurts. The heart of God loves the offerings of a persevering worshipper. Though overwhelmed by many troubles, they are even more overwhelmed by the beauty of God."
I love that.
"Though overwhelmed by many troubles, they are even more overwhelmed by the beauty of God."
I want to be overwhelmed by Him beauty.
I want it to be more about Him and less about me.
I want to be a light - His light - declaring His glory.
I want to be a persevering worshipper.
11.02.2007
The Older I Get...
This weekend is much appreciated. You have no idea.
It's been a freakishly long week.
I had what could have been a really awkward conversation today but it wasn't.
Being an RA is hard. It's hard not to be involved emotionally in conflicts and such. Especially when you have good advice and they don't take it.
12 Days
12 Days
12 Days
Phew.
12 Days
I can't wait to walk out of security and see my Mom.
I'm going to call her right now.
Yay. I love my mom.
The older I get, the more I appreciate her.
At my meeting with Jessica today, she asked what my favorite thing about myself was. And I seriously could NOT come up with anything. At all. I couldn't think of my favorite thing about myself...or anything I liked about myself at all. Then she asked me what my favorite thing about my Mom was and that was so easy. I love how my Mom is so giving and loving. I love how she cares about my day, how she says that when I go to school, one of the things she misses most is how I can't tell her everything about my day. I love how she balances out my Dad and how she just LOVES.
Those are my favorite things about my Mom.
But what ARE my favorite things about myself?
It's been a freakishly long week.
I had what could have been a really awkward conversation today but it wasn't.
Being an RA is hard. It's hard not to be involved emotionally in conflicts and such. Especially when you have good advice and they don't take it.
12 Days
12 Days
12 Days
Phew.
12 Days
I can't wait to walk out of security and see my Mom.
I'm going to call her right now.
Yay. I love my mom.
The older I get, the more I appreciate her.
At my meeting with Jessica today, she asked what my favorite thing about myself was. And I seriously could NOT come up with anything. At all. I couldn't think of my favorite thing about myself...or anything I liked about myself at all. Then she asked me what my favorite thing about my Mom was and that was so easy. I love how my Mom is so giving and loving. I love how she cares about my day, how she says that when I go to school, one of the things she misses most is how I can't tell her everything about my day. I love how she balances out my Dad and how she just LOVES.
Those are my favorite things about my Mom.
But what ARE my favorite things about myself?
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