Brother.

Brad is married.
I passed out in the middle of the ceremony.

I read a book on the flight home called "The Prodigal God" by Timothy Keller. It was... great. I read it quickly, and can't wait to go back through it more slowly. It was about the two lost sons (the story that is traditionally called "The Prodigal Son"). And man.... I so relate to the elder son. I've been doing a lot of self-examination lately, looking at my heart and trying to discover my motives behind my actions and "sacrifices."

Honestly, I keep seeing things I don't like, things I am not proud of, things I would hate for the world to see. But the God of the Universe - the Most High God - sees all those things. And still He is Prodigal, throwing everything off to run to me and embrace me in His love, to invite me into His feast. How long will I stubbornly refuse Him, acting as my own savior?

It was nice being with my family for the wedding - grandparents, brothers, etc. In "The Prodigal God," Keller writes about how Jesus is my brother. I've never thought of that. I've allowed Him to be my Savior, my Lord, my God, my Strength, my Love, my Hope, my Security... but never my brother.

A brother is someone who comes after you when you are in trouble, someone who encourages you to take chances and do the right thing, someone who helps you work things out with the parents when they go awry. Maybe it's because my brothers and I aren't that close, or maybe it's because of all the hurt that has been in our relationships, but I've never seen Jesus as that One. I don't really know HOW to let Him be my Brother. What does that look like in my life, having Him as a Brother? Allowing Him to fill those holes I think my earthly brothers should have filled?