Culture Shock.

I am experiencing reverse culture shock. It's really kind of annoying. I don't feel bad about being American or having all that I have. But I feel kind of like God liked me more when I was in India. I don't know why I feel that way, and I don't particularly know what to do about it.

It's harder here. Harder to read my Bible often. Harder to pray as much. Harder to be as focussed on Him. Maybe it's because my family support network has fallen, in a way. I am not with them all the time anymore.

I miss them.
Jordan and her words of wisdom.
Hannah and her singing during Nerts.
Steve and his Indian dancing.
Daniel and his never-ending iPod songs.
Kyle and his godliness and leadership ability.

I miss mango talks and mean monkeys. I miss walking everywhere and buying food from street vendors. I miss the honking and the crazy driving and the segmented sidewalks (okay, maybe not that last one). I miss being invited to people's homes, drinking tea, and talking about life and what is really important.

I think that really, I miss feeling like what I was doing mattered - REALLY MATTERED. I don't want to miss that. I don't want to feel like I am dispensable.

I am excited for August to come so I can be "home" with my family. Not just Jordan, Hannah, Steve, Daniel, and Kyle. But Addi. Oh, how I miss my OCBF and her love. And Dani and her silliness. And Kim and her shared love for all things Disney. And the others. Sarah. Roy. Emily. And Mission Center lovelies.

It will be sad not to see my graduate friends, like Julie and Jessica and Kelly and Emily.

But that's life. You grow up, you move on to greater things. Sad.