My Heart.

Oh, God.

I am really frustrated right now, more so than I have been in a long, long time. Maybe ever. And maybe I'm just exaggerating a little bit, but surely not a lot. God, I feel like I just don't know - like I have no idea - where You are leading.

Your still, small voice has gotten lost in the crowded world of Me. As hard as I try, I can't hear it. I can't hear You. Every now and then I hear You break through, then just as quickly, I choose to dismiss You, like someone brushing away an annoying fly at a picnic, like Cody shooing the bee away while we sat on the brick wall today.

Come thou fount of every blessing. Tune my heart to sing Thy grace. God, I am a singer completely out of tune, lost in this song, hopeless as to what page we are on, what measure we are in, what instrument I am supposed to be playing.

Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in You." My mind is not steadfast.

God. This is hard. Why do I feel as though You are not here?

Love,
Me.