12.22.2009

Decided.

I made my decision today, this morning, before I was fully awake, still on the cusp of sleep, with that scraggly edge lingering in my voice.

That's a lie. I made the decision last night. I followed through with it this morning.

So, goodbye first real teaching job, my 3rd and 4th graders who will not be mine. Goodbye lamp of learning, upstairs classrooms, an apartment in Oklahoma. Goodbye salary and benefits. Goodbye small-town living for a few more years.

And hello, uncertainty. Hello, teaching in an unknown location, unknown school, unknown everything. Hello, middle-of-nowhere, not seeing friends and family for two years, Skype, and new beginnings. Hello, following God's leading.

Finally.

Delayed obedience is disobedience. I know. That's why I did this.

You said you are proud of me. Thanks.
You said you were surprised, that you though I would take the job. Thanks?
You said not to second guess myself. I'm trying.
You said, "Wow."
You said, "We had no idea."
You said, "Last we heard, you were still uncertain. Then you came out this morning and dropped the bomb."
You said, "Go."

Welp, I'm going.

2 comments:

julieann said...

Oh, Melissa, I'm excited for you! I think I know what you chose to do (i'm not sure if I can say it on the internet?!). It will be such an adventure :). You will have to let me know where you end up going. I think...think...I will be in Moscow again next year, so please keep me updated. Maybe I can plan a trip to see you on one of my breaks!

Melissa Joy said...

Oh my gosh that would be SO much fun!!! What made you decide to stay another year?