Part One.

Okay. I'm ready.

"Melissa! What are you up to these days?"
"Well... I was going to move to India, but instead I'm living at home, working in a warehouse for 40 hours a week."

How much longer will that be my answer? "I was going to move to India..."
But what? But the LORD said no? He told me to go home? I had missed His leading?

As my friend Emily reminded the whole blog-o-sphere... I am in a season of waiting.
What am I doing with the wait?
Complaining. Anticipating the end. Mm, yeah, lots of bitterness....

Everyone said, "J-man will CHANGE your life!! You will never be the same!!"
And they were right.
It only took me a week though - not two years.

I know what it means - how it feels - to be completely outside the will of God. I know the anxiety that accompanies it and it is literally excruciating.

I know what it means - how it feels - to think I'm not allowed to talk to one of the most important people in my life. And it was more difficult than I anticipated. Worst. Ever.

But I know what it means to be obedient, even when it is unexpected and difficult and strenuous. And then, after the initial obedience, I'm learning what it means to continue to have a humble, obedient heart and spirit. That means trusting.