To A Deceased Person I Wish I Could Talk To.

Dear Grandma,

I want to hear your stories. I want to know about your first date with Grandpa, how you fell in love with him, how he proposed.
I want to hear about how you worked as a nurse during World War 2 and all about living through the Great Depression.
I want to know what you thought when you found out Mom was expecting me, your first granddaughter.

I wish I could have back all those years that we spent at your house, bored out of our minds because it was a million degrees outside. Now, I would sit next to your feet, let you play with my hair, and listen. Just listen. Probably, actually, I would tape-record everything. I would ask you what your favorite memories are. What you regret the most. What your passions are.

I wish I knew, Grandma. I wish I knew.

Mom says you are in Heaven now. I look forward to seeing you again. Do you think we'll remember this life? Will you be able to answer my questions?

I love you, Grandma. THere's so much more I could say.
I'm sorry for not writing you back. But thank you for the letters and savings bonds. You always thought ahead. Thank you for sending school supplies, and picking out clothes for me, and loving me a LOT. I never doubt that you do. Did? I don't know. This whole death thing is... odd.

I think about you often. I am grateful for you. I love you.

Remember your 50th wedding anniversary? I didn't really think it was a big deal, back when I was in 4th grade, but I do now. And I love having that legacy in my family. We sat on the bed in the hotel room and looked at Molly. I had just gotten her for Christmas. Remember? That was nice.

And remember that time we sat in your living room, and looked through your photo albums? Chris and I did that last summer and I remembered some of the things you told me, like about the toilet paper you had to use in Europe that was waxy and FAILED at wiping appropriately.

And remember that time I counted all your Beanie Babies? You thought they were so cute. You would make Grandpa take you to McDonalds so you could get them in Kids' Meals.

Remember eating lunches together at your house? Chips, half a banana, sandwich. And getting our hair done. I would watch you paint on your eyebrows. Ha. I loved that. You hung my clay surfer head on your wall, the one I made in middle school art class. And our 5x7 school pictures.

Oh, Grandma. Come back. Please?

Love always,
Melissa