6.14.2011

Tuesday Tribute To The Bible.


Top Three Favorite Old Testament Characters, Excluding God (In No Particular Order)
1. Benaiah. He chased a lion into a pit on a snowy day. He CHASED a LION, INTO a PIT on a SNOWY day. I can’t imagine they get many snowy days in the Middle East, thousands of years ago. But on that fateful day, David’s mighty man did not let that snow deter him. Instead, he scared a LION so badly that it ran away from him and tried to hide down in a pit, and Benaiah killed it. He did other brave things: he killed an Egyptian; he led David’s bodyguard; and he is known as a “doer of great deeds.” What a way to be remembered. Interesting to note, nothing is said of his relationship with the Lord; it will be interesting to see if this valiant man is in heaven.
2. Boaz. Oh my gosh, I love Boaz. He makes me swoon. Kinsman Redeemer. Protector. Man of Honor and his Word. Ruth comes to him and he falls in love… but goes about winning her heart the same way. From an outside perspective, Ruth’s mother-in-law, Naomi, totally has a hand in it, too… but Boaz remains a strong man. One of my favorite verses from him? Ruth 3:10-11 “And he said, “May you be blessed by the Lord, my daughter. You have made this last kindness greater than the first in that you have not gone after young men, whether poor or rich. And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you ask, for all my fellow townsmen know that you are a worthy woman.” Boaz, as much as he loved and respected Ruth, was BLOWN AWAY by the fact that she loved him too. She chose him just as much as he chose her. It is a great picture of our relationship with Christ as Kinsman Redeemer. He chose to redeem us… but we have to make that choice to be redeemed, to choose Him instead of one who is more “attractive” or “desirable.” In fact, Christ has all we need.
3. Hosea. Redeeming Love is one of my all-time favorite books, but the Bible story is just as good. He just… he just keeps loving his wife, buying her back from prostitution and slavery to the world over and over and over again. He doesn’t give up on her. He woos her and wins her heart as many times as he has to before she accepts his love and returns it. Hosea 2 details the heart-wrenching story of how she forsakes her husband in pursuit of other lovers… then Hosea replies in verse 8, “And she did not know that it was I who gave her the grain, the wine, and the oil, who lavished on her silver and gold, which they used for Baal.” Hello!! I give you everything you need! Where are you going?! I feel like so often, God is saying that same thing to me as I pursue other lovers, be they recognition, or a certain goal weight, or whatever. Those things are not God and they cannot fill His place in my life.

Top Three Favorite New Testament Characters, Excluding Jesus (In No Particular Order)
1. Peter. I’ve been reading through 1 Peter for weeks, it seems, and I still can’t move past 1 Peter 5:2-3 “Care for God’s flock with all the diligence of a shepherd. Not because you have to, but because you want to please God. Not calculating what you can get out of it, but acting spontaneously. Not bossily telling others what to do, but showing them the way.” Whoa. Challenge upon challenge for me lately. And I love how Peter’s life was changed. He denied Christ three times, but after Jesus met with him on the beach, Peter showed how transformative Christ’s love is and he helped lead the New Testament Church. He was, indeed, the rock.
2. Mary! Oh Mary. Not Jesus’ Mom (though she’s great, too), but Mary from Martha and Mary and Lazarus. She’s the one who poured perfume on Jesus’ feet then wiped His feet with her hair. I seriously have so much I could say about her… about the sacrifice and the humiliation and the pure, unadulterated worship… about how, though the perfume was intended for Jesus’ burial, it’s like she couldn’t wait that long! She had to anoint Him then. Spontaneously. She gave her best – a year’s wages - $40,000 in my life, once I sign a teaching contract. She poured that out in less than a minute’s time, I bet, onto the dirtiest part of a human: the feet. And she wiped it with the most physically attractive part of herself: her hair. I can’t get over it. Devotion. What worship.
3. Luke. The silent partner, the doctor, the author. He knew what it was to be in the wings, to not have center stage, but to be a supporting role in the work God does through someone else. And not once in the book of Acts do we hear Luke saying, “I had an awful day!” or “I stubbed my toe again!” or “I was in prison too, you know…” or “I lead 400 people to Christ that same day!” Luke is okay with Paul being in the spotlight. And maybe that’s because Luke recognized the role God had given him – Luke’s job was to write. To record history as it was made. (Who knows – maybe Doctors had better handwriting back then.) And he did his job faithfully. He was able to live out Peter’s challenge in 1 Peter 5:2-3, the one I’m struggling with so much. Faithful to the end, that Luke. What a guy.

6.10.2011

Falling Leaves.

Emotional Nutcase: (n) one who cannot react to situations appropriately; one who is prone to crying and fits of feeling inadequate

Of all definitions I can have with my name, this is the most recently appropriate. Isn’t that unfortunate? But alas, on K Love today, I heard…

“Fall Apart” by Josh Wilson.

…Now it all seems upside down.
Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel you now more than I did then.
I cannot come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need.
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts:
I find You when I fall apart.
I don’t know how long this will last
I’m praying for the pain to pass.
But maybe this is the best thing
That has ever happened to me.


The mission trip to Old Harbor is coming up. I’m accompanying the youth with two married couples and three or four little kids. And I am excited. This will be my first trip since India, where everything changed. There was a newness on that trip: a new way of relating to God, of knowing Him and hearing from Him. It was… indescribable. This will also be my first time in an Alaska Native Village and I think it will be an interesting and challenging time… from what I hear, at least. One week. We leave in one week, first for a six hour car ride, then a ten hour ferry ride, then a plane trip. Gotta love Alaska travel.

I interviewed at an elementary school in Anchorage. They have no openings but are anticipating some. Waiting game. I do have a (non-teaching) job lined up for the fall. And I’m thinking: do I even WANT to teach? Am I ready for it? Can I handle my own classroom? This job that I’ve been offered, I would learn skills that could better prepare me for a classroom of my own one day – but if I take it, will I ever get my own classroom? Really?

I am nearly done with my hooded crocheted sweater. It’s blue. And cuddly.

I found a brown leaf today on our deck table. It’s JUNE. What’s the deal? We had a party together:





My bike and I went on a wonderful ride together yesterday, about 10 miles. I stopped at a fellow teacher’s house and blew my nose before visiting with them for a few minutes. Bike riding? How did I like for about 10 years without this?! What a time to enjoy God’s creation and empty my mind! It’s like… mobile meditation. Haha. I got my new helmet in the mail and really like it. Incidentally, the new shorts I just bought match it perfectly. I’m like a little bike model.

Call your shrink. Call the National Guard. Call your priest. Call me when you’re over it.

6.06.2011

Perspective.

Father, I have been suffering.
I didn’t think I was; not really. I thought life was just happening around me.
But this is hard. This is suffering.

Rejected
by school districts, right and left,
and wounded by those closest to me,
and feeling jilted at every turn,
and uncertain as to why I am so dissatisfied with this life You have graciously given.

But God, Your Word says to rejoice in suffering
Because it develops perseverance.
Because it perfects me.
Because it draws me closer to You.
So that I can obtain the prize.

And You never give me more than I can handle…
But I don’t feel as tough as You must think I am, Father.
(I am not a champion weight lifter, in any sense. I fell in the middle of yoga that time, remember? I’ve never been able to do a cartwheel, much less a forward roll. My best mile time is roughly nine and a half minutes. Tough? Me? Hardly.)
I feel weak and lost and alone and afraid and like a loser.

I feel like a loser.

But You don’t whisper those thoughts to me. You don’t. You love me. I am Your Bride. I am Chosen and Dearly Loved and I was bought with a price. Ha. I am valuable. I am not my own; I was bought with a price. So even in this hard time, I can honor You with my body. I can present myself as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to You because this is my spiritual act of worship. In this waiting, I do not have to be conformed to the world, but I can be transformed by the renewing of my mind so that I can test and approve Your will for my life, Your good, pleasing, and perfect will, both in the future and in the now. (Romans 12:1-2)

So maybe, Lord, maybe…
Maybe through Your Spirit alone, I am stronger than I think.
Maybe You are accomplishing something in this season that seems to last for-freaking-ever.
Maybe I can trust Your plans for me.

No, Lord. Not Maybe. Definitely.
Through Your Spirit, I am definitely stronger than I think, because of the promise in Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things [even the things that threaten to suck the life and joy right out of my lungs] through Christ who strengthens me.”
You are definitely accomplishing something through this time, like Romans 8:28 claims “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.”
I can definitely trust Your plan, because it is good: Jeremiah 29:11 tells me, from Your own point of view, “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.”

You are never late, Lord. Your plans never fail to come to fruition. They are never forgotten until the last minute. You never have, “OH CRAP!” moments. You don’t need a plan B and You don’t have to second guess how something will turn out. You are never late; so I can praise You while I wait.

That’s the great part of being free in Christ. All my worries and cares? I don’t have to live under the weight of that oppression. I don’t have to stress about where I am going and how I am going to get there and with whom I will live life.

As a child of the King, I am free. Free to live completely surrendered to His love, completely alive in His presence. These ties that were holding me don’t have to hold me any longer. Surrender. The key to, and difficulty in, surrendering is that I forfeit my right to ask questions.

It can be easy; I think people – myself included – tend to over think things, especially Christianity. Your love, God, is strong. Stronger than Satan’s pull on my life. Stronger than my own fleshly desires. Stronger than my fear and uncertainty. Your love is Strong. I can trust You. I know I can. And I choose to, Father. I choose to trust You again. And again. And again. Renewed everyday, just like Your mercies.