"Those" People.

Deb and I took our girls out for coffee tonight, for our fifth Wednesday date - seven of them plus two of us equals three round tables at Starbucks in the grocery store.  I had hoped it would be a great time for us to just relax and talk.

There is a large population of homeless youth in the Valley. About 800 of them, who have no stable family, housing, or life in general. A lot of those kids hang out at the Wasilla grocery store.  The management lets them hang out, sleep, whatever.

There was a group of kids at the grocery store tonight, seated right by my girls and me. I'm not sure if they fit into the above category, and honestly, that's not an issue in my mind.

You know what is an issue?
- The looks of disdain my girls gave those kids at their use of bad language, their talk of smoking.
- The judgement I heard in their voices when they talked about it on the drive back to the church.
- The disgust at the "fake tan" girls who "wore too much makeup."

These girls, who probably accepted Christ at a young age, who grew up in Christian homes, who have been called to make disciples, bear fruit, and love freely... they are the ones withholding mercy when James plainly tells us, "Mercy triumphs over judgement!"

And, telling Allen about it later, I became angrier and angrier.

And then the conviction hit.  Just today, didn't I judge the person who parked too close to my car in the parking lot? "Learn how to park! How can I even get into my car?!" Just today, didn't I judge what someone wore in a picture on Facebook? "Really? She's wearing that shirt?"  Just today, didn't I judge coworkers for the way they pronounced words? "Why does she say it like that? Can't she tell that isn't the normal pronunciation?"

I hate it.  I hate this.

How can we love people when we are too busy looking down our noses at them?
How can we show them Christ when we're hiding Him behind our own self-appointed "holiness"?
How can we make disciples when we don't even want to talk to the people who need Him most?

<Oh, Lord, that You would come and change me! That You would soften my heart. That You would convict me more. That You would guide my steps to interact with those who need You. Lord, I need You! Change lives... but I need You to change me too. Come, Lord Jesus.>

Crab Hat Princess.

I started my graduate course!  But I have seriously got to be the weirdest kid in my course.  This is what I'm wearing while studying tonight:

Most of my classmates work for the government in DC, or for the UN in Africa, or something equally impressive.  Me?  I work for the Mat-Su Borough School District.  And I love it.  I'm excited to see how this degree, the skills I'll learn, and the opportunities I'll have will help me make some of my hopes and dreams come true.

But for now, I'll watch my Power Point, wear my crab hat and crown, and just be me.

Crafty.

Craft projects to start/finish:
- Allen's guitar strap
- Cork bracelet
- Crochet heart garland
- Anniversary present
- Basket

Weekend Review.

I feel so challenged and refreshed and revived after the youth retreat this weekend. And to think I almost didn't go.

Bringing glory to God's name is not something we should just talk about - we should live in a way as to actually do that. In relationships. At work. At home. At church. In all things. Suffering for doing Good is GOOD. To Him be the glory.

Prayer cannot be about me. I must rightly relate to God.
- creation to Creator
- unholy to Holy
- daughter to Father
- slave to Redeemer
- guilty to Forgiver

Failing to relate rightly to Him leads to wrong prayer. "Lord, if I bring You more honor by being in this fire, then leave me here until You are done with Your plan. If you are rightly glorified by my suffering, allow me to suffer more. Lord, do not put me where You can use me. Put me where You will be lifted up by me."

Praying and Worshiping for hours with youth - so so good. Talking with them about their desires to serve Him awakened and renewed those desires in me.

The importance of living in community and the difficulty of doing that.

Isn't He good? Isn't He powerful and right and lovely and deserving of all worship and attention and preferences? Prefer Him.

Africa And India.

I had another friend over for dinner tonight. Shannon, from the youth group. I made us rice, veggies, and chicken. Yummy.

We talked a lot about life - what she's facing as a senior in high school, what I'm facing as a young adult. Then (somehow) we started talking about India and Africa.

I loved those places. For different reasons.

Africa was about learning to love, learning to serve, learning to give.
India was about learning to trust, learning to depend on God, learning to be a friend.

Africa was cold.
India was very hot and humid.

Africa opened a door to my soul that I didn't even know was closed. A door I had been afraid to open, afraid of what may be behind it. But one look into Tahmee's eyes, one game of soccer with Sofanee, one late-night talk with Brianna, and there was no way I could close that door again.  That door to love.

India was about walking through that door. One foot in front of another, until I prayed at that hotel late at night, until we talked in the candlelight at the hostel, until I laid it all out on the rooftop. I learned to walk... and keep walking.

I don't know what's next. But as long as I keep that door open, and as long as I keep walking through it with the Lord, I know it will be Good.

Anniversary Prayer Calendar.

For months now, I've wanted to create an Anniversary Prayer Calendar so that I would be praying for my married friends and family. And tonight, I did!

I started by making little squares out of index cards. I ripped them so that they would have straight edges... plus I like the rugged edge.

Then I rummaged through my sticker collection and started putting the numbers on! I wanted my family's to stand out a little more, so I put them on bigger tags.

 I took some of my scrapbooking supplies to make a header for the calendar.  It says "Where there is great love, there are always miracles."  Isn't that so true these days? Any time someone is married for more than five or ten years, it's seen as a miracle. And marriage is nothing short of that - a miracle. Living with someone everyday for the rest of your life? All the forgiveness and compassion and patience necessary? Miracle.

I gathered all the wedding announcements and invitations I've been saving for such a time as this and recorded the bride and groom's names on the day they got married.

My mom even sent me the anniversaries of some couples from church!  I have 28 couples on my calendar right now. Fun fact - from my India Family that is married so far, Steve (and Shelly) and Daniel (and Leah) are on the 1st and Kyle (and Laura) and Hannah (and Galend) are on the 2nd. That means Jordan (and Daniel) and I should each get married on the 1st or 4th. Isn't that funny? 

So here it is. I spaced out the squares, added some brads and yarn to my siblings' and parents' days, and added the word "Pray" to the bottom. 

I'm really really happy about how it turned out!  Today - the 10th - had Emily and Matt on it. I loved spending today praying for them and their marriage!  For it to be strengthened, for them to grow together and in the Lord, for increased love, patience, and forgiveness between them.

What a special thing, to be interceding on behalf of my precious friends and family, for their marriages. I hope someone does that for me one day.

Praying For Family.

This is one of the first nights in weeks that I have gone straight home from work, without doing any errands, and have no plans whatsoever for the next four hours.  It feels really great, actually.

My apartment is clean, so I don't need to do that. I only have two things in my sink, so dishes will be a breeze tonight. I already have dinner cooked.

I could do anything tonight! Haha - so this is where the challenge comes in: what do I do?

Our church has been doing 7-days of prayer. Every night, people can gather at the church and pray. For whatever. For however long they want. Alone or not.

Mom and I prayed together last night, after Ms. Gayle prayed with us. I prayed mostly for my family - my brothers, their wives, my parents... and it shocked me how rarely I actually do that. How rarely I pray for their marriages and relationships and jobs and lives. How can I be a good sister to them if I am not even lifting them up before the Lord?

Dad.

Me and my Momma.

Paige and Brad.

Jeffy and Dana.

Pudding Cups.

Good Idea:

Mix instant pudding in a two-cup measuring cup that has a spout. Pour it straight into individual serving size Tupperware containers. Put them in your fridge to settle.

Pros:

- only one dirty dish (plus your whisk - of which I somehow have five, all different sizes....???)

- quick grab-and-go addition to lunches

- instant serving size! no over-eating

- they look so cute lined up in your fridge!

See.

The Lord doesn't always see the things we see. Rather, He isn't blinded by what we see.

We see bad news from the doctor - bad X-Rays or bad CT scans. He sees the healing He'll do to surprise you at your next visit.

We see bills coming and jobs NOT coming. He sees that anonymous gift that comes at the last minute that saves you financially, or that job that's just around the corner, as long as you don't give up.

We see the hurt friendships, the lacking trust, the pain from neglect. He sees Redemption and Forgiveness at work.

I pray that this year, I am not blinded by what I see, but that I am open to see what the Lord sees. I pray that this year, we all look with His eyes - at other people, and events, and circumstances. That we would have His eyes.

Cooking.

I'm cooking dinner for two girls tonight, two girls with whom I was good friends in high school. Megan and Maria. They've both been gone - to college and (in one case) in a different country. I'm excited to spend time with them tonight!

I'm making them dinner using THIS RECIPE - aren't they so cute?! I thought about taking pictures of the process, but she did such a great job on her website, that I'll let her speak.

While cooking, I am snacking on the dehydrated kiwi I made this week.

I'm feeling quite domestic, to say the least.

Confession.

Sometimes I read things that other people wrote, and I'm like, "What does that even MEAN?!"

But then I can't (or don't) ask  because I don't want to be the awkward one who doesn't know.

So there you go.

First Hot Chocolate In 2013.

Tonight, after taking down my Christmas decorations (well, all except for my (now bare) tree), I am sitting to enjoy a cup of hot chocolate.

I'd like to do this more: sit and enjoy. Savor.

Right now, I am savoring the messiness, the chocolatey-ness, the solitude of living. I like it.

2012 And 2013.

Oh yeah, 2012 ended. It kind of just...slipped out for me. Mostly because I was at my parent's home, totally sick (as in, sinuses draining, sore throat, cough, etc.) and because my boyfriend was flying across the country to be with his mom, who is even more totally sick (as in, infection to the bone, open heart surgery, 6-bypass, breathing machine, etc.).

But okay, a year in review. The others are doing it:
- I fell in love again.
- I flew to Alabama.
- I broke my leg in three places and had surgery to fix it.
- I moved into my own apartment.
- I got a new job and a raise at work.
- I bought a new car.
- I was accepted to my first and only choice of grad school: Johns Hopkins University.
- I started leading the middle and high school girls at church.
- I laboriously crocheted two stockings.
- Mom and I went to a work conference together.
- Dad bought my a new gun.
- Brad and Jeff both made it back safely from their deployments.
- I won third place (for a sweater) and second place (for a pair of gloves) at the Alaska State Fair (and deposited the prize $8 into my Roth IRA).

Phew. Not bad.

2013:
- Start Grad School
- Get back in shape (along with millions of other people)
- Not compare myself to others
- Read through the Bible
- Be the kind of person I want to be friends with.