I Ate His Liver

I had an awesome, hilarious, amazing, sucky weekend.

Our Sunday School Party: me, Maria, Titus, Tyler, and Ryne
Chaperones: Mr. and Mrs. Nunnally, and Kelly and Mindy
The scene: snowmachining to Kelly and Mindy's cabin and spending the night

I rode behind Maria the whole way. There is a huge trust factor when you're riding behind someone on a snowmachine. We were pulling part of the food: 6 pizzas from Papa Murphy's, like 20 cans of food, 6 liters of soda, and 4 cans of diet coke. So we take off. We're second in line, behind the Nunnallys, and we're going pretty fast. Next thing we know, everyone behind us has stopped, so we do too, and we turn around and go to where they are. Turns out, our food had fallen out of the sled we were pulling. Sweet. So we pick them all up, and put them back in the sled and keep going. We're trucking along, and we get to a gorgeous, flat, pristine lake. So we go super fast. We get off the lake, and are on this trail before we, again, notice that no one is behind us. We stop the machines, and sit to wait for them to catch up, when we see Kelly coming up. He tells us, "ALL of the food flew out of the sled." So we look in the sled, and sure enough, all of our pizzas, all of the cans, all of the soda, are gone. All that is left, in fact, is a sleeping bag and a pillow. So we turn around again, and go back to everyone else. Apparently, we'd been dropping food all across the lake. One pizza flew out, and we ran over it, spewing Papa Murphy's across this lake. Like 6 of the cans lost their labels, so it was very much "Lunch Surprise" on Monday. The two bottles of diet soda burst open.

Eventually, we make it to the cabin.

We take everything inside, and us kids go down to the frozen river in front of their cabin. There's this like cliff thing, and Tyler runs and flings himslef off of it, into the ice/snow below. Maria and I roll down the hill. In the distance, there's a snow mound thing, so Ryne and I head off on an adventure to explore, and everyone follows. They bring snowmachines down, and we play around for a bit, having "snow" ball fights, that's pretty much just ice, but whatever. And finally we go inside to eat pizza. It was actually really really good, despite being thrown around on the snow alot.

After dinner, we have a little Bible study, about when Jesus was tempted by Satan in the desert, and how He used scriptures to rebute what he said. So we're given four verses: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Phil. 4:13); "For I am fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm something); "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God" (James 1:5); and "For God so loved [insert your name here] that He gave His only begotten Son" (John 3:16). We had to go outside, in the dark, and one at a time, walk from behind the cabin to the cliff while the adults say stuff to us like, "You're worthless. You're stupid. You can't do it. No one loves you." and we had to come back and say a verse to them. So there's a lantern at the starting point, and a glowstick at the cliff. Titus goes first, and he gets it right away. Ryne goes next, and he says the wrong verse, so he has to come back to the beginning, and Tyler goes. But Tyler army crawls, so like 10 minutes after he left, the adults were like, "You can send the next person!" and we're all, "WE DID!" Which was funny. While Tyler was gone, Ryne started telling me and Maria this ghost story from Texas. We begin freaking out because it is pictch balck all around us, and we're in the middle of the woods. And we see this red light in the distance, between the trees, that is there one second, then gone the next, so we all get spooked. Then somehow, we got onto Jesus coming back, and dinosaurs and stuff. So Tyler failed, and he came back, and it was my turn. I made it past the first person ("I am fearfully and wonderfully made") but somehow, either I or the adult was wrong at the second stage, so I had to go back. Maria makes it, first try, and it is taking way longer than the adults had thought it would (we'd been out there for like an hour), so they call for me, Ryne, and Tyler, to all go at once. So we all make it. Then, we three sprint to Titus and Maria, and go down the cliff, and we walk out to the middle of the river.

It was such a clear, beautiful night, that we all laid down on our backs and looked at the stars. There were thousands of them. We could see the Milky Way, the Big Dipper, the Little Dipper, and Titus named off about 50 other conselations. There are satelites circling around, and it was just incredible. It's so cool to be out with the stars. It's like, there are so many of them, I couldn't help but feel small, but at the same time, it's like, God looks out amidst all those stars, and He sees me. I think I'd like to start laying on my roof at night to look at the stars. It's indescribable.

Next morning, we eat cinamon rolls, Maria beats Titus and Tyler at snowmachine races, and we hang out.

Our trip home was somewhat uneventful. No flying food. :) Haha

In my Middle Eastern class, last semester, I had to do this calligraphy thing. Mine said, "I get very quiet and rarely speak at all." And really, that is so me. Like on this trip, it sometimes felt like I didn't really fit in with the other kids, but I don't fit in with the adults. So I was like caught in the middle. And I don't talk nearly as much as Maria, or Titus even. If I don't have anything important to say, I don't say anything. Which I suppose is good, but I don't know. I thought a lot on this trip. Sunday night, I was laying in my sleeping bag, thinking, and I was like, "God, why can't I just be beautiful? Why can't I be thin and tan and just pretty?" And God said, "You are gorgeous to Me." And I said, "Well, why can't I be more daring, like Maria? Or more outgoing, like Tyler? Or more, or more...?" And God said, "I like how I made you. You're like that for a reason." And I realized that Satan was telling me these lies, in real life, just like in our game. So I was having a bit of a pity party till God got a hold of me. And I was still like, meh, butI don't know.

I really frustrate myself a lot. What I do, or don't do. What I say, or don't say. What I think, or don't think. I had all this time to have fun and hang out, and I spent the whole time being dumb.

I like to dance to silent music. I like to look at stars. I like to eat road-kill pizza. I like dishwashers and eating people's livers. I like Christian boys, but I hate them at the same time.

I don't like it when you spend an entire weekend with someone, then they act like they don't know you. And I hate when I act like I don't know God. I hate being ignored, but I'm not always fond of the spotlight. I hate going back on promises. I hate growing up. I hate that, really, all I have is memories.

Today is going to be a memory in like 8 more hours.

This is long, so I'll go now. I'm kind of depressed now. Or penseive, rather.