Song Of Songs.

So I just got a facebook message from a girl named Jenni. I told her about what I am struggling with, and what she said back almost made me cry.

She said, "The deal is, you're positively beautiful and God knows that ... And God knows you're beautiful he created you that way, especially your beautiful heart. Although, right now He's not to attracted to how you're thinking about yourself. He's not happy with the fact that you're not happy with His creation (you). Not that I'm saying you're not happy with yourself but you know. God knows your heart and knows everyone..He's closer to you then imaginable. With someone who knows you that well...He knows how your heart is and so you're heart should be happy...because God really doesn't want your heart feeling the same that your thoughts are."

She said some other things that I chose not to disclose.

But Dang.

I never thought of that...the fact that God doesn't like for me to think like this. You know, I've been so "focussed" on wanting to just please God that I never thought about how my thinking like this doesn't please Him.

In my Bible, I have a verse underlined. It says, "But my dove, my perfect one is unique, the only daughter of her mother, the favorite of the one who bore her. The maidens saw her and called her blessed; the queens and concubines praised her." -Song of Songs 6:9

I've just been dwelling on that verse.

"My dove"... You know when Jesus was baptized? The Holy Spirit descended on Him like a dove. A dove was obvisouly a precious and chosen being if that's what God chose to represent Himself. And He chose the words "my dove" to describe ME.

"My perfect one" ... without fault...blameless... everything needed. That's how God described me in this passage. He looks and sees me without fault.

"Unique" ... God made me different than everyone else. He chose my eye color, my hair color, my skin tone, and yes, my shape, just for me. Something we talked about at D-NOW was that God looks at me and says, "DANG! I did a great job on her!" He loves looking at me. He created me. He handcrafted me out of nothingness. He had me in His mind to form LONG before the earth was even made.

I love this passage. All of it. I've been meditating on it and just thinking about it lately. Especially tonight after 905 when I was in the GC.

But it's so easy to forget.