Proud.

I think that there are more important things in life than Civ.

I am upset that I got a B+ on the exam.
Which is a LAME thing to be upset about, seeing how there are people dying all over the world and there are so many other things I should worry about.

I also think, though, that I care more about making my parents proud - being better than Brad and Jeff at something - that I forget what really matters in my life. Yes, I have gotten a 4.0 the last two semesters. However, if I do not get another 4.0, my life will NOT be over.

But I also think that I really want to make my professors proud. I want them to see that I work hard at what I do, that learning is important to me, and that I care about what they have to say. So when I think that they do not see that, I feel like I let them down. And I don't want to let them down.

Really, I think I have this thing with wanting to make other people proud. Which, I decided, is not bad at all. But it is not where my focus should be. If I try my best - am a good RA, a good employee, a good friend, a good girlfriend (though Dr. Armond saw my purity ring and asked if Shaun and I are engaged today during our meeting), a good Mission Center leader, a good AWANA leader - if I do my best at those things, then Jesus Christ will be evident in my life.

And all I REALLY REALLY REALLY want is for Him to say, "Hey, good job, my faithful servant! Welcome to Paradise!" when I die. I really don't think God will be like, "Well, you got a B+ on a Civ exam - you're going to face eternal damnation now."