The Song.

The Song of Solomon 2:15 "Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom."

I've been thinking lately. Life is NOT going as I planned. Jobs for the fall fall through; relationships take more work that I anticipated; summer plans turn up empty. And yet, my relationship with the Lord could be in full bloom if I let it. Instead, I am allowing these foxes to come in and spoil my vineyard. They are digging holes of doubt, eating off leaves of submission, leaving pride and self-centeredness in their wake. Destruction and emotions and confusion. And not just in my relationship with God, but in my relationship with others.

When did the foxes get in and how do I get rid of them? 2 Corinthians 10:5 "We...take every thought captive to obey Christ."

The Song of Solomon 3:2 "I will seek him whom my soul loves..."

I believe that my soul is the part of me that will live forever with the Lord in heaven. My spiritual part, according to Webster. So what control do I have over who my soul loves? I'm called to love with Lord with all my heart and mind and body and soul... but do or will I love one certain man with my soul, too?

The Song of Solomon 4:9 "You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace."

Reading this verse in church on Sunday, I was... shocked. As in, I almost started crying. Me. I am captivating. It hit me hard this time, on a day when I was hurt and not feeling desired or beautiful or lovely or - in the least bit! - captivating. But one look. One look at the Lord of the Universe and HE is captivated.

Captivate: to fascinate

Wow. Fascinated. Can't take His eyes off me. Made powerless by a look or presence.

And yet, when I am in His presence, that's how I feel. Powerless by Him. Fascinated. Like I don't want to be anywhere but there, bowed at His feet, prostrate in worship. How could I not love Him? How could I let foxes into the vineyard? Why would I want to love anyone else with my soul but Him?

Reading through The Song of Solomon again is so nice - so challenging and eye-opening. Seeing how the man and woman talk to and about one another... what a challenge! They never mention anything negative; no "Your Mother is crazy!" "I can't believe you said THAT to me!" "You forgot to fill-in-the-blank again!" Nope. Never. They are all positive. They bring out the best in one another, pointing out both the physical, and the internal purity and strength.

When I am angry or confused at God, when I feel like I've fallen from grace, it's so much easier to nit-pick at the things I think are wrong. But what if - what if - for thirty days, I spent thirty minutes a day worshiping? Not asking for anything, not seeking my own gain, but in worship. Real worship. And learning, over the next thirty days, what real worship really is. Different kinds of worship. Would my focus change? How would my relationship with the Lord change? Would I feel a need for Him again? A need to be in His presence? Would I get rid of the foxes? Fall more in love with Him in my soul? Would we both be more captivated? Captivated.

On repeat: "Times" by Tenth Avenue North