Falling Leaves.

Emotional Nutcase: (n) one who cannot react to situations appropriately; one who is prone to crying and fits of feeling inadequate

Of all definitions I can have with my name, this is the most recently appropriate. Isn’t that unfortunate? But alas, on K Love today, I heard…

“Fall Apart” by Josh Wilson.

…Now it all seems upside down.
Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel you now more than I did then.
I cannot come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need.
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts:
I find You when I fall apart.
I don’t know how long this will last
I’m praying for the pain to pass.
But maybe this is the best thing
That has ever happened to me.

The mission trip to Old Harbor is coming up. I’m accompanying the youth with two married couples and three or four little kids. And I am excited. This will be my first trip since India, where everything changed. There was a newness on that trip: a new way of relating to God, of knowing Him and hearing from Him. It was… indescribable. This will also be my first time in an Alaska Native Village and I think it will be an interesting and challenging time… from what I hear, at least. One week. We leave in one week, first for a six hour car ride, then a ten hour ferry ride, then a plane trip. Gotta love Alaska travel.

I interviewed at an elementary school in Anchorage. They have no openings but are anticipating some. Waiting game. I do have a (non-teaching) job lined up for the fall. And I’m thinking: do I even WANT to teach? Am I ready for it? Can I handle my own classroom? This job that I’ve been offered, I would learn skills that could better prepare me for a classroom of my own one day – but if I take it, will I ever get my own classroom? Really?

I am nearly done with my hooded crocheted sweater. It’s blue. And cuddly.

I found a brown leaf today on our deck table. It’s JUNE. What’s the deal? We had a party together:





My bike and I went on a wonderful ride together yesterday, about 10 miles. I stopped at a fellow teacher’s house and blew my nose before visiting with them for a few minutes. Bike riding? How did I like for about 10 years without this?! What a time to enjoy God’s creation and empty my mind! It’s like… mobile meditation. Haha. I got my new helmet in the mail and really like it. Incidentally, the new shorts I just bought match it perfectly. I’m like a little bike model.

Call your shrink. Call the National Guard. Call your priest. Call me when you’re over it.