1. Deep water. For real. I don't float well, so that's part of my fear. But a bigger reason: when I was visiting Hannah in Germany, we went to a swimming pool. After (finally) jumping off the diving board, we decided to go in the wave pool as the waves were rolling... and we decided to swim across it. But it was deep, and the waves went over my head, and I started going under and panicking and I couldn't breathe or swim anymore. One of the scariest moments of my life. If someone were to drop me in the deep end of a pool, I am 99% sure I would drown.
2. Getting hurt. Physically, yes, but mostly emotionally. I have broken, sprained, bruised, and dislocated many of the bones in my body. I have been to the ER countless times. But I think the worst physical pain I had was when I bruised my tailbone. It was awful and scary. Emotional pain is worse. That feeling of not being able to even move because you are so heartbroken is awful. Not liking to feel anything touching you... not being able to eat or sleep or move or put makeup on... I never want to repeat that.
3. Not being in the Lord's will. Oh, this ties to number two. Moving forward with something that is not the Lord's will caused such turmoil and fear in my life. It was horrific. Panic attacks, anxiety, hyperventilating... Let's just not go there.
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