Coffee
And Homework
And Cold Blue Skies.

Skinny Jeans and Blankets.

And 55 Days.

And Conviction and Heart Talks and Humor and Silly Fights.

And Love.
Lots of Love.

On My Mind.

Things on my mind lately:
- Allen's birthday (tomorrow!)
- Acteen's purity retreat (this weekend)
- Getting my braces off (date TBD)
- Extravagant grace
- Wedding invitations (in the mail as of today!)
- Changing friendships
- School (halfway through my 3rd semester. After this semester, I'll be halfway done with the program!)
- Suits (Allen's suit for the wedding cost $7.50 at a thrift store.... and it was brand new.)
- Titus 2
- Snowshoeing
- Living room forts

Parents.

Within the last three weeks, as I vacationed first with my mom and then with my dad, I was reminded of what a beautiful life I live. I am blessed with parents who love the Lord, love each other, love me. I am reminded that though I am getting married, I will always be their daughter. 

What a delight. 

Dress Shopping.

Magical. 

Mom and Grandma and I went. 

Only two stores, but dozens of dresses. 

So excited. 

Love And Marriage.

The last three weeks have been a whirlwind. A whirlwind, I tell you. Like a dream.

August 16: After a delicious pizza dinner at a restaurant we've been hankering to try, after making me hike a mountain in a dress, Allen proposed. I said yes. Jade was there to capture it on film, adding to the joyous moment and fun.

August 18: We picked a date - January 10 - and the planning began. Colors, "vibe," flowers, decorations, Save the Dates, bridesmaids and groomsmen...

August 25: Realize we won't have anywhere to live after getting married (except Mom and Dad's basement).

August 28: Tour an apartment. Bottom floor. No thanks.

August 29: Tour another apartment. Top floor. Two bedrooms. Within our price range. Perfect, we'll take it.

September 3: Pay deposit and sign lease for our first apartment.

And in between: Addressing and mailing Save the Dates. Pinning. Celebrating. Laughing. Anticipating. Planning.
__________________________

This man - my best friend - will be my husband in 4 months and 1 week.  My late night talks, early morning coffee, fill the car with gas, adventuring, loving, passionate and compassionate husband.

But I am also reminded of Isaiah 54:5 "For your Maker is your Husband, the Lord of hosts is His name. The Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer. The God of the whole earth, He is called."

Allen will be my husband. But only my "Til Death Do Us Part" husband. The Lord is my forever husband. Allen will not be able to meet all of my needs, fulfill all of my desires, whisper answers to the longings of my heart. But the Lord will. He will indeed.

I am so excited to see how the Lord uses us together. In our church. In our apartment building. In our jobs. In the world. In Africa. In a hut. Hugging those small children who have stolen both of our hearts and are holding them ransom. I am so excited to see how we - together - will point others back to Him.

We start our pre-marital counseling with Pastor Tom in October. While I'm nervous - why? - I'm excited to continue to learn more about Allen and more about myself. The books we've been reading together have been wonderful in growing our relationship; I know this will be too.
__________________________

In Titus 2, older women are commanded to teach the younger women how to love their husbands. I praise God for my mama, who teaches me how to love my husband through the way she loves my daddy.

I am excited and humbled for the opportunity to teach my girls how to do the same. 

Scariest Things.

The scariest thing about the idea of getting married one day? 

The knowledge that I will, at one point, disappoint the man I marry. 

Knowing that I will hurt him. 

Knowing that I don't have the strength to put his needs before mine everyday for the rest of my life. 

Knowing that he will do the same.

The best part? 

Knowing that the Lord will use us and strengthen us daily, if we allow Him.

I'm excited to see what the Lord has for this man and I in the next few months and (Lord willing, years).

Feeling Adventurous.

I'm ready for an adventure.

A get in the car and drive somewhere, stopping randomly along the way, taking goofy pictures, eating too much junk food, stumbling upon someplace beautiful and tucked away, adventure. Away from work. Away from the computer. Away from internet. Away from research studies and Blackboard.

Oh, Lord.

I don't understand, Lord, but I will trust You.

I'm tired, Lord, but You give me strength.

I feel rushed, Lord, but You multiply the hours.

I am content, Lord, and I thank You for that.

Rend The Heavens.

This blog just touched my heart tonight.  Because lately, my words have not been full of Him either. My words at work. At home. At church, even.

But I want Him to consume me. Oh, that He would rend the heavens and come down! Oh, Lord, I want to tremble before You!

But life creeps in. Even good things - a bike ride with Allen; teaching my girls; working in the nursery - even these good things creep in and push the Lord out. Not waking up early enough to read His word before work. Not praying before eating my lunch at work.

Oh, that He would rend the heavens and come down.

There are attacks because He is at work. And that's okay, as long He will continue to lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. His faithfulness never ends.

Grad School Update.

Registered for Fall 2013!
- Understanding Markets and Audiences
- Crisis Communications

Summer 2013 is halfway done.

I had a great meeting with my advisor in DC a few weeks back and found I'd be able to get two concentrations rather than just one.
- Media and Public Relations
- Corporate and Non Profit Communications.

I am so thankful that I am able (thus far) to pay for my classes out of pocket, without any student loans. God is so faithful. After Fall 2013, I'll be halfway done with my program already. Isn't that crazy?

I'm learning so much, though talking about it at work probably makes me look dorky (which is fine by me). Implementing SharePoint? Let me tell you all about the Diffusions of Innovation Theory and how we can apply those constructs to our implementation process.

(None)

Lord, I crawled across the barrenness to You with my empty cup. If only I had known You better, I'd have come running with a bucket. -Nancy Spiegelberg

DC Tonight.

I'm in DC. The view from my hotel window is of the Potomac River. Very pretty.

8:30pm, and I'm in my giraffe pajamas, watching HGTV and reading for class.

25-year-old behavior? Not really. Perfectly content? You better believe it.

24 In Review.

I've been thinking about this post: 24 Things That Happened While I Was 24.

1. I broke my leg. In three places. On an island. And had to wait two weeks before I could have very invasive surgery to get it fixed. That surgery included inserting a metal rod into my tibia, placing about 5 screws in my leg, and being in various casts for three months.

2. I applied to Johns Hopkins. And was accepted.
3. I started and finished my first class. And got an A. And now I'm taking two more and I love them.
4. Two of my favorite bosses of all time left the District. And we got two replacements. The Lord is teaching me to love them.
5. The Lord gave me a "Front Row Seat" to the work He is doing in the lives of my middle through college-age girls at church. And, as this blog reminded me, I am so not needed in that.

6. I won $8.00 for my crocheted creations at the Alaska State Fair! Ha. And I took a pottery class.

7. I write a weekly newsletter and this year, it went National. It is now received by four or five different states.
8. I learned to be dependent on people for everything. Even going to the bathroom and bathing.
9. I lived on my own. And I loved it.
10. I moved back home. And I loved it.
11. I learned that there is a time for everything.
12. I've made substantial progress in paying off my Jeep.
13. I made the decision to honor God with my money (and have been reading this book to help).
14. Allen and I celebrated our one-year dating anniversary. And I was constantly challenged by his selflessness, his compassion, and his silliness.

15. I planned and executed a conference for 100+ staff members in the school district.
16. I started memorizing James (and am about 4/5 of the way through!).
17. I cut off all my hair! And I don't think I'll ever go back to long hair. And I was told I look like Anne Hathaway and Julia Roberts, circa "Hook."
18. I flew to Arizona and surprised my Grandpa with a visit. I hadn't seen him in about two years.

19. We celebrated the third annual Lemonade Stand on the Butte.

20. I worked as a model. By that, I mean I posed for some pictures for my friend Jade. Through that experience, I learned I am more business-professional than whimsy.

21. Our church finished the new sanctuary and I helped move chairs into it.
22. I learned the importance of just loving on people. And I felt the opposition that comes from that.
23. My momma became more than a momma. She became my friend.

24. I started sponsoring Cwangco, a little girl who lives in Africa, through World Vision.

Here's to the next year of being 25!

Back.

Two weeks off of classes went by in the blink of an eye.  Granted, I spent one of those weeks in Boston, the other trying to unpack from the trip and from moving back home.

But now, classes are back - two of them this semester: Branding and Advertising and Changing Behavior Through Communication.  I'm excited about both. I'm not excited about figuring out how to balance them with a full time job, Allen, my girls, Hannah's new engagement, and life.

But God is faithful.
He is good.
His timing is perfect.

Isn't that wonderful?

PS - I kind of love that it is snowing in May in Alaska. So random. But I know that even this can be used for God's divine purpose. I may never know the good that will come from May snow, but I don't need to know. I can just embrace it.

Almost The End Of The Semester!

I am almost done with my first semester of grad school!  Phew.

To do still:
- Continue to edit my Research Brief
- Submit my Research Brief (to two places)
- Meet with my group
- Write my second post this week
- Submit the group project
- Comment on two group projects
- "grade" my group members.

SO CLOSE!

This is my "SO CLOSE" happy face:

(PS - I got my hair trimmed today)

It's been such an adventure, learning to balance school with life again. Good though. Real good.

The summer semester starts mid-May. I'm taking two classes this summer, which will be more challenging. I bought six books for one class (four could go on my Nook!), and no new ones were required for the other.

Back to editing. Paper is due on Tuesday. Praying for a good grade!

Money And Moving.

This is my last week in my apartment. I've spend the last 5 days slowly packing things in my apartment, making trips to move things home to my parents' house, helping clean my bedroom there, and still living life.

I've been slightly obsessed with this website: www.moneyunder30.com and the advice they offer to "kids" in my situation - 20-somethings, with jobs, out of school, trying to figure out life financially. And though it isn't Christian-based, they talk a lot about living debt-free, how to calculate if you can afford a home, setting budgets, etc.

Money sees to be a taboo thing in the church. Not many people like to talk about tithing, budgeting, love offerings, debt... but so many young Christians graduate from college, not knowing what to do next.

Thanks be to God, I am in no way strapped financially right now. And I have some good financial goals:
- Pay off my car by the time I am 27
- Complete grad school without taking out student loans
- Begin saving for a downpayment on a house

When they couldn't renew my lease on my apartment, I wasn't sure what to do. But moving back home? Right now, I think that's good. I'm looking forward to spending more time with mom and dad before they leave the state, and helping them with things while I can. I'm excited to save money so that I can accomplish my goals.

And I'm excited to learn how to honor God in this area of my life!

My Girls.

19 girls in my group tonight, and at least two were missing. I love them. They are so diverse. So goofy and talkative and loving as God is so at work in them.

It is so humbling to be before them weekly, pointing them to The Lord, helping shape them into the women God wants them to be. I pray I am an encouragement to them, that they always know I care. I pray they will be followers, and not just fans.

I pray that they are each the ONE who stays in church after graduating from highschool.

Who knew these dramatic, antsy, silly, emotional teenage girls would change my life so much?!

Conference.

I was asked to speak at a Women on Mission Conference in April, about how missions goes on.

I am praying the Lord gives me direction on what to speak, that I will point the women to Him, not to myself, that He will increase and I will decrease. I am praying that He will be exalted higher and higher in my life and in the lives of the attendees.

I'm not nervous. I don't often get nervous before speaking in front of people. But I want to share what He commands.

What if that means spilling my J-Man story to everyone? Missions goes on, even if it doesn't look the way you anticipate.

Will you join me in praying?

His Voice.

Breathe.

Between working full time, grad school, leading my girls at church, maintaining friendships, and seeing family, it seems that life has slipped away.

But I've made it a point to be in God's word more, to be dilligent: I want to read through the Bible this year and though I got off track at times, I think I'm back on.

His word is breath and life.

Psalm 29:4-9
"The voice of the LORD is powerful; the voice of the LORD is majestic. The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars; the LORD breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon. He makes Lebanon skip like a calf, Sirion like a young wild ox. The voice of the LORD strikes with flashes of lightening. The voice of the LORD shakes the desert; the Lord shakes the Desert of Kadesh. The voice of the LORD twists the oaks and strips the forest bare. And in his temple, all cry 'HOLY!'"

Stoping long enough to hear His voice, to recognize and understand His words, is challenging at times. But there is nothing more I want to do.

So Good.

My heart is so full and I feel so humbled.

I want to point others to the One who is worthy, the Most High, rather than to myself.

The Lord is so good.