Burn For You

I really like this song on Air1 right now.

"Burn For You" by TobyMac
I'm a brand new man, I'm a conscious man I'm a man who's burnin' for you The mistakes I've made have been chased away to the bottom of the ocean blue I'm a brand new man in a foreign land, I'm a man who's feelin' that fire And it's all so clear when I'm standing here at the peak of my desire So won't you move me like you used to I want the world to know I burn for you
I feel revived again, I am alive again (Burnin' for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up
I feel revived again, I'm energized again (Burnin' for you) You got me lifted and lifted you lift me up Woke up in a sweat, those ghosts in my head Had a grip, but I slipped on by It's a whole new day as the darkness fades And the sun's climbing in the sky I concede, my love, that I need your love I'm before you, a broken man And it's only you, no substitutes who can renew this soul again You got me higher than Kilimanjaro Got me believin' I can "save the day" I'm up and running like their ain't no tomorrow I'd rather burn for you than fade away I'd rather burn for you than go my way I'm a whole new guy with a whole new vibe Changed inside - more flame in the fire Can't stop, won't stop praying for desire Like the bunny on the screen feel so energized Old shell gone without a trace, new face No more shortness of breath, new pace Live life now without the taste of fear TOBYMAC, Double Dutch now let the smoke clear

Frustrations And Apathy

I am so frustrated.

With everything:
1. My brother
2. Money
3. School
4. Myself
5. Money
6. Not being close enough to God
7. Crosswalk, or lack thereof
8. Money
9. Guys with ego's
10. The hole puncher at work

And I'm sick of apathy. And emotions.

I need to be made whole, but I don't know how when I don't feel I can approach God.

Thus Is Me.

It's funny how a day can be ordinary, but then one or two things happen, and your day suddenly rocks.

This morning I talked to my "little sister" Sydni in Germany. For like 25 minutes. It was so fun. I told her about Human Relations yesterday, when Allison told Mr. Berg that I wanted to tell him that if he were a booger, I'd pick him first. And I told her about my cereal that morning (like abowl-full of Life, and an inch of milk). And she told me about one of her teachers who is coercing this boy she likes into liking her. It was just good. I love talking to her.

Then I get to school, and I find out I can't go to the FISH meeting, even though it is the National Day of Prayer, because I need to take notes for Kristina. And I was glad to help her, but I really wanted to talk to God. So I was bummed. AND I have to pick up trash on May 12th. But Jen went to FISH, which is most excellent.

So then Gvt. was okay. I did one of my "debates" which was actually just me talking for a while, then Laiza talking for a while. Then lunch. Which was quite lunch-y.

TA was dumb, mostly because I was totally in pain (that time of the month...you know.. :) haha) but I got some advil from the nurse, which helped, then I sat in front of my locker and read some of Psalms, mostly in the Psalm 121 area. I LOVE Psalm 121:1-2. It's amazing. Plus, it's part of a really cool song. So that was neat, just sitting and reading my Bible.

Then French. And French was fun today. I was paired up with one my kind-of-friends. And we had to ask eachother questions and respond with imaginative answers. And I was totally having a brain fart because I could not think of anything. So he helped me come up with some answers. Then we had to draw two pictures of their answers, so I drew Peppin wearing neon yellow shorts (almost like my shirt today) and red flip-flops, eating 13 sheets of bacon and being really happy. It's a sweet picture, if I say so myself.

And now I'm at work, waiting to go home.

But I got to drink orange juice and eat half of a bagel, which was really really yummy.

So that's my day.

OH, and I played with Flarp, and I was commented on my purity ring. Super sweet. And I'm wearing knee-high socks. Also super sweet.

AND Jesus loves me. And nothing is sweeter than the taste of His love, grace, and compassion.

Have you ever thought about the word grace? It means "loving acceptance". How many people am I full of grace towards? Not many. How many people am I currently bitter towards? More than I want. Why can't I just lovingly accept them as Christ lovingly accepts me?

Thus is the predicament of my life.

USMA West Point Jogging Pants Are Sweet.

I can't go to the Kutless concert. Not the one in Anchorage, or the one in Fairbanks. And I'm kind of bummed, but just a little. I was majorly upset last night, when I pretty much found out, but it wasn't official until now. And I think I'm okay with it.

Because that Monday, there is a high school girls' retreat that Wasilla Bible Church is hosting and the high school girls from my church were invited because of connections. And I'm really looking forward to it. I know that it's something I need to go to. I don't know why, but I need to be there.

Anddddd I think Monday night, or Tuesday night, but probably Monday night, I'm going to have a mini-Kutless concert in my bedroom. I'm just going to put on a concert shirt and get all dressed like I was going to their concert, and just listen to their music and sing along. Maybe I'll find pictures of them and put them on my iPod so I can see pictures of them while the music plays so its like I'm really there. It'll be like a private concert.

That's the sweetest thing about CD's and music in general. It's like a private concert just for you.

Tears Of Who Knows What.

I feel like crying. And the funny thing is, I don't think I can.

I mean, I could. And I have reasons to. But then I think about these verses I read in the Bible once, in a Gospel, but I'm not sure which one, where Jesus was going to heal a blind man, and the disciples said to the man, "Get up! On your feet! The Lord is calling you! What are you going to do?" That's not what they said verbatim, but it was along those lines. And I think, why should I sit and cry when God is calling me to more?

I love a good cry. A good get-it-all-out-in-the-open cry.

But I love God more.

Barbara Manatee...You Are The One For Me!

A full-grown manatee, which can weigh more than 1,000 pounds, looks like the result of a genetic experiment involving a walrus and the Goodyear Blimp. -Dave Barry

haha.

Why?????

Paul totally knew what he was talking about. I can relate to the whole "What I want to do, that I do not do. But what I don't want to do, I find myself doing it over and over."

I'm such a jerk sometimes.

Last night was intense, but I forget so easily.

Question: What is my problem?





Answer: Sin.