Coffee
And Homework
And Cold Blue Skies.

Skinny Jeans and Blankets.

And 55 Days.

And Conviction and Heart Talks and Humor and Silly Fights.

And Love.
Lots of Love.

On My Mind.

Things on my mind lately:
- Allen's birthday (tomorrow!)
- Acteen's purity retreat (this weekend)
- Getting my braces off (date TBD)
- Extravagant grace
- Wedding invitations (in the mail as of today!)
- Changing friendships
- School (halfway through my 3rd semester. After this semester, I'll be halfway done with the program!)
- Suits (Allen's suit for the wedding cost $7.50 at a thrift store.... and it was brand new.)
- Titus 2
- Snowshoeing
- Living room forts

Parents.

Within the last three weeks, as I vacationed first with my mom and then with my dad, I was reminded of what a beautiful life I live. I am blessed with parents who love the Lord, love each other, love me. I am reminded that though I am getting married, I will always be their daughter. 

What a delight. 

Dress Shopping.

Magical. 

Mom and Grandma and I went. 

Only two stores, but dozens of dresses. 

So excited. 

Love And Marriage.

The last three weeks have been a whirlwind. A whirlwind, I tell you. Like a dream.

August 16: After a delicious pizza dinner at a restaurant we've been hankering to try, after making me hike a mountain in a dress, Allen proposed. I said yes. Jade was there to capture it on film, adding to the joyous moment and fun.

August 18: We picked a date - January 10 - and the planning began. Colors, "vibe," flowers, decorations, Save the Dates, bridesmaids and groomsmen...

August 25: Realize we won't have anywhere to live after getting married (except Mom and Dad's basement).

August 28: Tour an apartment. Bottom floor. No thanks.

August 29: Tour another apartment. Top floor. Two bedrooms. Within our price range. Perfect, we'll take it.

September 3: Pay deposit and sign lease for our first apartment.

And in between: Addressing and mailing Save the Dates. Pinning. Celebrating. Laughing. Anticipating. Planning.
__________________________

This man - my best friend - will be my husband in 4 months and 1 week.  My late night talks, early morning coffee, fill the car with gas, adventuring, loving, passionate and compassionate husband.

But I am also reminded of Isaiah 54:5 "For your Maker is your Husband, the Lord of hosts is His name. The Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer. The God of the whole earth, He is called."

Allen will be my husband. But only my "Til Death Do Us Part" husband. The Lord is my forever husband. Allen will not be able to meet all of my needs, fulfill all of my desires, whisper answers to the longings of my heart. But the Lord will. He will indeed.

I am so excited to see how the Lord uses us together. In our church. In our apartment building. In our jobs. In the world. In Africa. In a hut. Hugging those small children who have stolen both of our hearts and are holding them ransom. I am so excited to see how we - together - will point others back to Him.

We start our pre-marital counseling with Pastor Tom in October. While I'm nervous - why? - I'm excited to continue to learn more about Allen and more about myself. The books we've been reading together have been wonderful in growing our relationship; I know this will be too.
__________________________

In Titus 2, older women are commanded to teach the younger women how to love their husbands. I praise God for my mama, who teaches me how to love my husband through the way she loves my daddy.

I am excited and humbled for the opportunity to teach my girls how to do the same. 

Scariest Things.

The scariest thing about the idea of getting married one day? 

The knowledge that I will, at one point, disappoint the man I marry. 

Knowing that I will hurt him. 

Knowing that I don't have the strength to put his needs before mine everyday for the rest of my life. 

Knowing that he will do the same.

The best part? 

Knowing that the Lord will use us and strengthen us daily, if we allow Him.

I'm excited to see what the Lord has for this man and I in the next few months and (Lord willing, years).

Feeling Adventurous.

I'm ready for an adventure.

A get in the car and drive somewhere, stopping randomly along the way, taking goofy pictures, eating too much junk food, stumbling upon someplace beautiful and tucked away, adventure. Away from work. Away from the computer. Away from internet. Away from research studies and Blackboard.

Oh, Lord.

I don't understand, Lord, but I will trust You.

I'm tired, Lord, but You give me strength.

I feel rushed, Lord, but You multiply the hours.

I am content, Lord, and I thank You for that.

Rend The Heavens.

This blog just touched my heart tonight.  Because lately, my words have not been full of Him either. My words at work. At home. At church, even.

But I want Him to consume me. Oh, that He would rend the heavens and come down! Oh, Lord, I want to tremble before You!

But life creeps in. Even good things - a bike ride with Allen; teaching my girls; working in the nursery - even these good things creep in and push the Lord out. Not waking up early enough to read His word before work. Not praying before eating my lunch at work.

Oh, that He would rend the heavens and come down.

There are attacks because He is at work. And that's okay, as long He will continue to lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. His faithfulness never ends.

Grad School Update.

Registered for Fall 2013!
- Understanding Markets and Audiences
- Crisis Communications

Summer 2013 is halfway done.

I had a great meeting with my advisor in DC a few weeks back and found I'd be able to get two concentrations rather than just one.
- Media and Public Relations
- Corporate and Non Profit Communications.

I am so thankful that I am able (thus far) to pay for my classes out of pocket, without any student loans. God is so faithful. After Fall 2013, I'll be halfway done with my program already. Isn't that crazy?

I'm learning so much, though talking about it at work probably makes me look dorky (which is fine by me). Implementing SharePoint? Let me tell you all about the Diffusions of Innovation Theory and how we can apply those constructs to our implementation process.

(None)

Lord, I crawled across the barrenness to You with my empty cup. If only I had known You better, I'd have come running with a bucket. -Nancy Spiegelberg

DC Tonight.

I'm in DC. The view from my hotel window is of the Potomac River. Very pretty.

8:30pm, and I'm in my giraffe pajamas, watching HGTV and reading for class.

25-year-old behavior? Not really. Perfectly content? You better believe it.

24 In Review.

I've been thinking about this post: 24 Things That Happened While I Was 24.

1. I broke my leg. In three places. On an island. And had to wait two weeks before I could have very invasive surgery to get it fixed. That surgery included inserting a metal rod into my tibia, placing about 5 screws in my leg, and being in various casts for three months.

2. I applied to Johns Hopkins. And was accepted.
3. I started and finished my first class. And got an A. And now I'm taking two more and I love them.
4. Two of my favorite bosses of all time left the District. And we got two replacements. The Lord is teaching me to love them.
5. The Lord gave me a "Front Row Seat" to the work He is doing in the lives of my middle through college-age girls at church. And, as this blog reminded me, I am so not needed in that.

6. I won $8.00 for my crocheted creations at the Alaska State Fair! Ha. And I took a pottery class.

7. I write a weekly newsletter and this year, it went National. It is now received by four or five different states.
8. I learned to be dependent on people for everything. Even going to the bathroom and bathing.
9. I lived on my own. And I loved it.
10. I moved back home. And I loved it.
11. I learned that there is a time for everything.
12. I've made substantial progress in paying off my Jeep.
13. I made the decision to honor God with my money (and have been reading this book to help).
14. Allen and I celebrated our one-year dating anniversary. And I was constantly challenged by his selflessness, his compassion, and his silliness.

15. I planned and executed a conference for 100+ staff members in the school district.
16. I started memorizing James (and am about 4/5 of the way through!).
17. I cut off all my hair! And I don't think I'll ever go back to long hair. And I was told I look like Anne Hathaway and Julia Roberts, circa "Hook."
18. I flew to Arizona and surprised my Grandpa with a visit. I hadn't seen him in about two years.

19. We celebrated the third annual Lemonade Stand on the Butte.

20. I worked as a model. By that, I mean I posed for some pictures for my friend Jade. Through that experience, I learned I am more business-professional than whimsy.

21. Our church finished the new sanctuary and I helped move chairs into it.
22. I learned the importance of just loving on people. And I felt the opposition that comes from that.
23. My momma became more than a momma. She became my friend.

24. I started sponsoring Cwangco, a little girl who lives in Africa, through World Vision.

Here's to the next year of being 25!

Back.

Two weeks off of classes went by in the blink of an eye.  Granted, I spent one of those weeks in Boston, the other trying to unpack from the trip and from moving back home.

But now, classes are back - two of them this semester: Branding and Advertising and Changing Behavior Through Communication.  I'm excited about both. I'm not excited about figuring out how to balance them with a full time job, Allen, my girls, Hannah's new engagement, and life.

But God is faithful.
He is good.
His timing is perfect.

Isn't that wonderful?

PS - I kind of love that it is snowing in May in Alaska. So random. But I know that even this can be used for God's divine purpose. I may never know the good that will come from May snow, but I don't need to know. I can just embrace it.

Almost The End Of The Semester!

I am almost done with my first semester of grad school!  Phew.

To do still:
- Continue to edit my Research Brief
- Submit my Research Brief (to two places)
- Meet with my group
- Write my second post this week
- Submit the group project
- Comment on two group projects
- "grade" my group members.

SO CLOSE!

This is my "SO CLOSE" happy face:

(PS - I got my hair trimmed today)

It's been such an adventure, learning to balance school with life again. Good though. Real good.

The summer semester starts mid-May. I'm taking two classes this summer, which will be more challenging. I bought six books for one class (four could go on my Nook!), and no new ones were required for the other.

Back to editing. Paper is due on Tuesday. Praying for a good grade!

Money And Moving.

This is my last week in my apartment. I've spend the last 5 days slowly packing things in my apartment, making trips to move things home to my parents' house, helping clean my bedroom there, and still living life.

I've been slightly obsessed with this website: www.moneyunder30.com and the advice they offer to "kids" in my situation - 20-somethings, with jobs, out of school, trying to figure out life financially. And though it isn't Christian-based, they talk a lot about living debt-free, how to calculate if you can afford a home, setting budgets, etc.

Money sees to be a taboo thing in the church. Not many people like to talk about tithing, budgeting, love offerings, debt... but so many young Christians graduate from college, not knowing what to do next.

Thanks be to God, I am in no way strapped financially right now. And I have some good financial goals:
- Pay off my car by the time I am 27
- Complete grad school without taking out student loans
- Begin saving for a downpayment on a house

When they couldn't renew my lease on my apartment, I wasn't sure what to do. But moving back home? Right now, I think that's good. I'm looking forward to spending more time with mom and dad before they leave the state, and helping them with things while I can. I'm excited to save money so that I can accomplish my goals.

And I'm excited to learn how to honor God in this area of my life!

My Girls.

19 girls in my group tonight, and at least two were missing. I love them. They are so diverse. So goofy and talkative and loving as God is so at work in them.

It is so humbling to be before them weekly, pointing them to The Lord, helping shape them into the women God wants them to be. I pray I am an encouragement to them, that they always know I care. I pray they will be followers, and not just fans.

I pray that they are each the ONE who stays in church after graduating from highschool.

Who knew these dramatic, antsy, silly, emotional teenage girls would change my life so much?!

Conference.

I was asked to speak at a Women on Mission Conference in April, about how missions goes on.

I am praying the Lord gives me direction on what to speak, that I will point the women to Him, not to myself, that He will increase and I will decrease. I am praying that He will be exalted higher and higher in my life and in the lives of the attendees.

I'm not nervous. I don't often get nervous before speaking in front of people. But I want to share what He commands.

What if that means spilling my J-Man story to everyone? Missions goes on, even if it doesn't look the way you anticipate.

Will you join me in praying?

His Voice.

Breathe.

Between working full time, grad school, leading my girls at church, maintaining friendships, and seeing family, it seems that life has slipped away.

But I've made it a point to be in God's word more, to be dilligent: I want to read through the Bible this year and though I got off track at times, I think I'm back on.

His word is breath and life.

Psalm 29:4-9
"The voice of the LORD is powerful; the voice of the LORD is majestic. The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars; the LORD breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon. He makes Lebanon skip like a calf, Sirion like a young wild ox. The voice of the LORD strikes with flashes of lightening. The voice of the LORD shakes the desert; the Lord shakes the Desert of Kadesh. The voice of the LORD twists the oaks and strips the forest bare. And in his temple, all cry 'HOLY!'"

Stoping long enough to hear His voice, to recognize and understand His words, is challenging at times. But there is nothing more I want to do.

So Good.

My heart is so full and I feel so humbled.

I want to point others to the One who is worthy, the Most High, rather than to myself.

The Lord is so good.

JHU, Semester Two.

Registered for my next set of classes. Summer 2013.

Changing Behavior through Communication
Branding and Advertising

Both are online, and they'll start mid-May. I'm a little nervous about taking two classes, working full time, and serving at church. But the Lord is faithful. I've learned a lot this month about balancing things, time management, and the importance of being in His word.

Here's to the rest of this semester and the start of the next one!

Satisfy.

Some people are really really great at remembering the names of bands and the songs they sing. I mean, they are like pros.

Me? Not so much.

However, one band I love and have been listening to a lot lately is Tenth Avenue North.

Satisfy me, Lord.

First Fruits.

Some big financials decisions to be made:
- Where to live (back at home, saving $500 a month, at least until September. Then we'll see.)
- How many classes to take (Goal: complete Grad School without new student loans.)
- How much I can afford to put into my Roth IRA (try to meet the yearly maximum?)
- How quickly I can pay off my car (by the time I'm 27? That's just over 3 years.)
- Can I afford to buy a house? (Oh my lanta, who even knows?!)

Last night, I was reading through the various laws in Deuteronomy.  And I came to the part where Moses commands the Israelites to give their first fruits to the Lord. The first of their crops and animals.

The first.

Before they knew if there would be more coming.
Before they paid bills and took their goods to the market to sell.
Before they checked how much was in their savings account.
Their first fruits.

The reason? So that we may "rejoice in all the good things the Lord your God has given to you and your household" (Deuteronomy 26:11).

I love that. I was convicted.

I tithe regularly, but it had always been on the last Sunday of the month. That way, I knew how much I would make, what my "10%" would be, and that my bills all paid with no problem.  But what if I gave my tithe on the first Sunday of the month? Before those bills are taken out? Before my car payment, my credit card bill, my cell phone, my insurance, my, my, my.... How would that change my dependence on the Lord? How would I grow in my faith and trust? How would I see "all the good things the Lord [my] God has give to [me] and [my] household"?

That seems a little radical. Counter-culture. To give first rather than saving or spending first. But I'm excited.  Last night, I fell more in love with the Word of God than I have been in a while. And I was reading in Deuteronomy. No one expects that.  I am excited to take the Lord at His word. To give Him my first fruits.

Seventy Years From Now.

Today, we went to the 70th anniversary party and vow renewal for a couple at church, Carli and Dwight. It was precious. They got married with Carli was just 15 years old, at the end of World War Two. And the love and tenderness that is still so evident between them... Precious. Carli even held Dwight's hand the whole time they were renewing their vows.

I want my love to last seventh years. And more. I want my family and friends to be with me when I celebrate with my love.

G'Morning.

After staying up late studying, I slept through three alarms this morning.  I can't remember the last time I did that.

Highlights of Today at 6:57am:
- Red pants today
- I have a three-day weekend
- My Jeep is stuffed with food the girls collected for MYHouse
- Coffee is brewed
- The sun is already rising.

Oh, Lord. Let me dwell in You today. Let me shine for You. I choose You. I pour out my perfume, my desires, my feelings at Your feet. And I want to be filled with You.

Israelite.

And so, I shall trust the Lord.

I shall be like the Israelites, wandering in the desert, not knowing where their next home will be, but knowing that the Cloud and Fire would guide them.

I shall walk, one foot, then another, not knowing where I will take my shoes off at night, but thankful that I have shoes.

I shall trust. With every new day. With every assignment. With every box. With every meal. With every dollar. I will trust.

A Graduate Student's Guide To All Nighters.

1. Take out contacts and put on glasses. THIS IS IMPERATIVE. Your eyes will get sleepy and grainy if you leave your contacts in.

2. Make coffee. Good creamer is a necessity. If no creamer is available, opt for milk and brown sugar, like they do in India.

3. Make sure you have a good internet connection, your laptop's power cord, and bright lights on in the room.  A good smelling candle helps, too.

4. STAY HYDRATED. You'll feel better, plus it will give you built-in five minute breaks.

5. Put your phone on silent. This is not the time to text. In fact, turn it over also so you can't even see the screen. This is the time to work your butt off because your assignment is due in less than 24 hours.

6. Every couple hours, eat a high protein snack... while watching Kid President's Pep Talk. "Not cool, Robert Frost!"

7. BREATHE.

8. It's best to NOT put on your pajamas or comfy clothes. It keeps you in the "working" mind. I'm not saying put on your  best Business Professional outfit, but stay in jeans and a sweatshirt. Don't even wear slippers.

9. Sit at a table. Not on your bed. Or on the couch. Or on a comfy chair.

10. Be open to your assignment moving in new directions, to your paper topic shifting a little as your research progresses, but be sure to keep it limited. Don't "Ride like the wind, Bullseye!"

11. At some point, you are REALLY going to want to brush your teeth. Do it. But resist the urge to clean the bathroom while you are in there. You don't really want to clean. You just don't want to keep working.

12. Persevere. Just keep going.

JAMS.

I have never had this much difficulty writing a paper for school.  It only has to be 350 words, and I am scrambling to get one coherent sentence out.

WHY?!

It isn't even a paper, really. It is a blog post. About why a journal mattered. Why it is important to the communications practitioners. I write blog posts all the time.

The difference?

I'm writing it for a grade, not just to express myself and my thoughts.

The thing is, maybe I've over my head with this class. I'm not a communications practitioner. I'm a 24 year old, sitting at my dining room table, wearing a sweater from Old Navy and socks my Grandma knitted. Let's get real.

Why does this journal matter?

Because it's real.  It discusses real issues that are often overlooked by my small Alaskan brain.  Terrorism is bigger than the middle east and those who practice it. It causes real hurt and pain and frustration and anxiety. It makes people want to join forces with terrorists so that they can protect their families and eat regularly.

Everything we do affects things globally. The USA declares war on terror, and political cartoons in Kenya reflect that. A potential terrorist is tried for attempted bombing of a plane, and newspapers in Nigeria write all about it, but twisting the events - framing the events - so that it doesn't look so bad on them. Trying to make sense of what happened.

That's what communication practitioners do: we make sense of things and tell other people about how they make sense.  If we are unable to do that, well, we failed.

If everything is connected, we need to think about how our writings and publications affect others. But more than that, we need to think about how WE can affect others.  How we can make a difference.

Maybe this journal doesn't matter. Maybe it only matters to me.

Or maybe I just don't have the words to explain the panic rising in me over the fact that people are suffering... and so often we do so little about it. So often we don't even notice. Too often, we don't even care.

Technology.

I can blog from my phone now?! Whoa. Thank you, 21st century.

Sin Part 2.

If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17  (NIV)

That's how. Remain in Christ.

What if that isn't just a church answer? What if that's really how it works? What if remaining in Christ, in His word, always praying, always pursuing, always pouring out that perfume onto His feet... what is that IS how it works? What if I am attached to the Vine? What if the Vine gives Life everlasting - in the future and here?

What if my life becomes that perfume, that sacrifice offered on the altar, that complete tithe for Him? And what if I take Malachi 3:10 and run with it: "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it."

That would be cool. That would be God. That would be godliness.

I like that.

Sin.

Guilt is never enough to change behavior.

Conviction is, until you forget about the conviction.

Choosing in your heart is not even enough - your mind is still open to attack.

So what is it? What does it take to actually change behavior, turn from sin, and embrace the Lord?

Graduate Part 2.

And PS - I am already on WEEK FOUR of my graduate course. Can you believe it?! I only have nine weeks left of this semester! Eeks.

Graduate.

Have I mentioned I love my graduate courses? I love them.

I think I'm designed to be a student for life. I love learning at my job - everything from using Excel and Adobe, to encumbering Payroll for 2500 employees, to preparing presentations for large groups of people.

And I love learning in my class: how to analyze professional journals, how to select samples, how to write literature reviews.

So good. I feel so blessed.

"Those" People.

Deb and I took our girls out for coffee tonight, for our fifth Wednesday date - seven of them plus two of us equals three round tables at Starbucks in the grocery store.  I had hoped it would be a great time for us to just relax and talk.

There is a large population of homeless youth in the Valley. About 800 of them, who have no stable family, housing, or life in general. A lot of those kids hang out at the Wasilla grocery store.  The management lets them hang out, sleep, whatever.

There was a group of kids at the grocery store tonight, seated right by my girls and me. I'm not sure if they fit into the above category, and honestly, that's not an issue in my mind.

You know what is an issue?
- The looks of disdain my girls gave those kids at their use of bad language, their talk of smoking.
- The judgement I heard in their voices when they talked about it on the drive back to the church.
- The disgust at the "fake tan" girls who "wore too much makeup."

These girls, who probably accepted Christ at a young age, who grew up in Christian homes, who have been called to make disciples, bear fruit, and love freely... they are the ones withholding mercy when James plainly tells us, "Mercy triumphs over judgement!"

And, telling Allen about it later, I became angrier and angrier.

And then the conviction hit.  Just today, didn't I judge the person who parked too close to my car in the parking lot? "Learn how to park! How can I even get into my car?!" Just today, didn't I judge what someone wore in a picture on Facebook? "Really? She's wearing that shirt?"  Just today, didn't I judge coworkers for the way they pronounced words? "Why does she say it like that? Can't she tell that isn't the normal pronunciation?"

I hate it.  I hate this.

How can we love people when we are too busy looking down our noses at them?
How can we show them Christ when we're hiding Him behind our own self-appointed "holiness"?
How can we make disciples when we don't even want to talk to the people who need Him most?

<Oh, Lord, that You would come and change me! That You would soften my heart. That You would convict me more. That You would guide my steps to interact with those who need You. Lord, I need You! Change lives... but I need You to change me too. Come, Lord Jesus.>

Crab Hat Princess.

I started my graduate course!  But I have seriously got to be the weirdest kid in my course.  This is what I'm wearing while studying tonight:

Most of my classmates work for the government in DC, or for the UN in Africa, or something equally impressive.  Me?  I work for the Mat-Su Borough School District.  And I love it.  I'm excited to see how this degree, the skills I'll learn, and the opportunities I'll have will help me make some of my hopes and dreams come true.

But for now, I'll watch my Power Point, wear my crab hat and crown, and just be me.

Crafty.

Craft projects to start/finish:
- Allen's guitar strap
- Cork bracelet
- Crochet heart garland
- Anniversary present
- Basket

Weekend Review.

I feel so challenged and refreshed and revived after the youth retreat this weekend. And to think I almost didn't go.

Bringing glory to God's name is not something we should just talk about - we should live in a way as to actually do that. In relationships. At work. At home. At church. In all things. Suffering for doing Good is GOOD. To Him be the glory.

Prayer cannot be about me. I must rightly relate to God.
- creation to Creator
- unholy to Holy
- daughter to Father
- slave to Redeemer
- guilty to Forgiver

Failing to relate rightly to Him leads to wrong prayer. "Lord, if I bring You more honor by being in this fire, then leave me here until You are done with Your plan. If you are rightly glorified by my suffering, allow me to suffer more. Lord, do not put me where You can use me. Put me where You will be lifted up by me."

Praying and Worshiping for hours with youth - so so good. Talking with them about their desires to serve Him awakened and renewed those desires in me.

The importance of living in community and the difficulty of doing that.

Isn't He good? Isn't He powerful and right and lovely and deserving of all worship and attention and preferences? Prefer Him.

Africa And India.

I had another friend over for dinner tonight. Shannon, from the youth group. I made us rice, veggies, and chicken. Yummy.

We talked a lot about life - what she's facing as a senior in high school, what I'm facing as a young adult. Then (somehow) we started talking about India and Africa.

I loved those places. For different reasons.

Africa was about learning to love, learning to serve, learning to give.
India was about learning to trust, learning to depend on God, learning to be a friend.

Africa was cold.
India was very hot and humid.

Africa opened a door to my soul that I didn't even know was closed. A door I had been afraid to open, afraid of what may be behind it. But one look into Tahmee's eyes, one game of soccer with Sofanee, one late-night talk with Brianna, and there was no way I could close that door again.  That door to love.

India was about walking through that door. One foot in front of another, until I prayed at that hotel late at night, until we talked in the candlelight at the hostel, until I laid it all out on the rooftop. I learned to walk... and keep walking.

I don't know what's next. But as long as I keep that door open, and as long as I keep walking through it with the Lord, I know it will be Good.

Anniversary Prayer Calendar.

For months now, I've wanted to create an Anniversary Prayer Calendar so that I would be praying for my married friends and family. And tonight, I did!

I started by making little squares out of index cards. I ripped them so that they would have straight edges... plus I like the rugged edge.

Then I rummaged through my sticker collection and started putting the numbers on! I wanted my family's to stand out a little more, so I put them on bigger tags.

 I took some of my scrapbooking supplies to make a header for the calendar.  It says "Where there is great love, there are always miracles."  Isn't that so true these days? Any time someone is married for more than five or ten years, it's seen as a miracle. And marriage is nothing short of that - a miracle. Living with someone everyday for the rest of your life? All the forgiveness and compassion and patience necessary? Miracle.

I gathered all the wedding announcements and invitations I've been saving for such a time as this and recorded the bride and groom's names on the day they got married.

My mom even sent me the anniversaries of some couples from church!  I have 28 couples on my calendar right now. Fun fact - from my India Family that is married so far, Steve (and Shelly) and Daniel (and Leah) are on the 1st and Kyle (and Laura) and Hannah (and Galend) are on the 2nd. That means Jordan (and Daniel) and I should each get married on the 1st or 4th. Isn't that funny? 

So here it is. I spaced out the squares, added some brads and yarn to my siblings' and parents' days, and added the word "Pray" to the bottom. 

I'm really really happy about how it turned out!  Today - the 10th - had Emily and Matt on it. I loved spending today praying for them and their marriage!  For it to be strengthened, for them to grow together and in the Lord, for increased love, patience, and forgiveness between them.

What a special thing, to be interceding on behalf of my precious friends and family, for their marriages. I hope someone does that for me one day.

Praying For Family.

This is one of the first nights in weeks that I have gone straight home from work, without doing any errands, and have no plans whatsoever for the next four hours.  It feels really great, actually.

My apartment is clean, so I don't need to do that. I only have two things in my sink, so dishes will be a breeze tonight. I already have dinner cooked.

I could do anything tonight! Haha - so this is where the challenge comes in: what do I do?

Our church has been doing 7-days of prayer. Every night, people can gather at the church and pray. For whatever. For however long they want. Alone or not.

Mom and I prayed together last night, after Ms. Gayle prayed with us. I prayed mostly for my family - my brothers, their wives, my parents... and it shocked me how rarely I actually do that. How rarely I pray for their marriages and relationships and jobs and lives. How can I be a good sister to them if I am not even lifting them up before the Lord?

Dad.

Me and my Momma.

Paige and Brad.

Jeffy and Dana.

Pudding Cups.

Good Idea:

Mix instant pudding in a two-cup measuring cup that has a spout. Pour it straight into individual serving size Tupperware containers. Put them in your fridge to settle.

Pros:

- only one dirty dish (plus your whisk - of which I somehow have five, all different sizes....???)

- quick grab-and-go addition to lunches

- instant serving size! no over-eating

- they look so cute lined up in your fridge!

See.

The Lord doesn't always see the things we see. Rather, He isn't blinded by what we see.

We see bad news from the doctor - bad X-Rays or bad CT scans. He sees the healing He'll do to surprise you at your next visit.

We see bills coming and jobs NOT coming. He sees that anonymous gift that comes at the last minute that saves you financially, or that job that's just around the corner, as long as you don't give up.

We see the hurt friendships, the lacking trust, the pain from neglect. He sees Redemption and Forgiveness at work.

I pray that this year, I am not blinded by what I see, but that I am open to see what the Lord sees. I pray that this year, we all look with His eyes - at other people, and events, and circumstances. That we would have His eyes.

Cooking.

I'm cooking dinner for two girls tonight, two girls with whom I was good friends in high school. Megan and Maria. They've both been gone - to college and (in one case) in a different country. I'm excited to spend time with them tonight!

I'm making them dinner using THIS RECIPE - aren't they so cute?! I thought about taking pictures of the process, but she did such a great job on her website, that I'll let her speak.

While cooking, I am snacking on the dehydrated kiwi I made this week.

I'm feeling quite domestic, to say the least.

Confession.

Sometimes I read things that other people wrote, and I'm like, "What does that even MEAN?!"

But then I can't (or don't) ask  because I don't want to be the awkward one who doesn't know.

So there you go.

First Hot Chocolate In 2013.

Tonight, after taking down my Christmas decorations (well, all except for my (now bare) tree), I am sitting to enjoy a cup of hot chocolate.

I'd like to do this more: sit and enjoy. Savor.

Right now, I am savoring the messiness, the chocolatey-ness, the solitude of living. I like it.

2012 And 2013.

Oh yeah, 2012 ended. It kind of just...slipped out for me. Mostly because I was at my parent's home, totally sick (as in, sinuses draining, sore throat, cough, etc.) and because my boyfriend was flying across the country to be with his mom, who is even more totally sick (as in, infection to the bone, open heart surgery, 6-bypass, breathing machine, etc.).

But okay, a year in review. The others are doing it:
- I fell in love again.
- I flew to Alabama.
- I broke my leg in three places and had surgery to fix it.
- I moved into my own apartment.
- I got a new job and a raise at work.
- I bought a new car.
- I was accepted to my first and only choice of grad school: Johns Hopkins University.
- I started leading the middle and high school girls at church.
- I laboriously crocheted two stockings.
- Mom and I went to a work conference together.
- Dad bought my a new gun.
- Brad and Jeff both made it back safely from their deployments.
- I won third place (for a sweater) and second place (for a pair of gloves) at the Alaska State Fair (and deposited the prize $8 into my Roth IRA).

Phew. Not bad.

2013:
- Start Grad School
- Get back in shape (along with millions of other people)
- Not compare myself to others
- Read through the Bible
- Be the kind of person I want to be friends with.