Blizzard of 2010 has hit. Ice and snow cover the ground, creating slush that I stomp through on my way across campus. It's fun.
Ethel June is parked right outside my bedroom window. I keep my eye on her, making sure no loose tree limbs bump into her.
School was out today and is out on Friday also. Student Teaching starts Monday.
1.28.2010
1.23.2010
Back.
I am settled back in my apartment in Oklahoma. None of my roommates are here and the silence has been inviting and comforting. It's nice to be in my own space again, doing life my way rather than my parents way. I like the cleanliness of this apartment.
Though it is hard to follow Him, I still will. Though I may not like it, I know that His ways are greater than mine. Even still.
The man in front of me in security made an interesting comment. I wonder if that's how others perceive it.
Though it is hard to follow Him, I still will. Though I may not like it, I know that His ways are greater than mine. Even still.
The man in front of me in security made an interesting comment. I wonder if that's how others perceive it.
1.22.2010
Today.
In two or three years, I wonder where we'll be. Together still? Engaged? Married? Will you still want me in your life? Will I still be as important as I am now, or more so? Will I still get a kick out of holding your hand, sitting with you on my bed? Will we still have to talk with the door open? :) You asked today about kissing but I wouldn't tell you when the year started, nor when it will end. Huh. Why didn't I tell you? I really want to kiss you. But when I think about it, it makes me want to take back my commitment. And I can't do that. May 26, 2010. That day. Will you wait that long? I know you will. You are that kind of guy. Will you still want to kiss me then? That moment... so anticipated... will make the next two or three years even more difficult. I will miss you. I will miss you the moment I enter security and look back, knowing I won't see you again until probably May or June. I miss you right now. I spent five hours talking to you today about mostly nothing of importance. Sometimes we didn't even talk; we just sat and were together. This may have been one of my favorite things we've done together so far, this being with you thing. It makes me happy. You make me happy. I want this relationship to be different and already it is. I want to be a blessing to you. And to You.
Sitting.
Talking.
Laughing.
Joking.
Cooking.
Eating.
Relishing.
Relishing.
Sitting.
Talking.
Laughing.
Joking.
Cooking.
Eating.
Relishing.
Relishing.
1.18.2010
Love Language.
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important–hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important–hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
1.17.2010
Divine Romance.
I taught Sunday School this morning, 5th and 6th grade. It's so much fun seeing God work and working alongside Him. We made a KWL chart about service. We went on a running field trip with Buddies! and Sshhh! as our directions. We listened and responded to a Relient K song. I had the privilege of leading a girl to Christ. Oh, to be involved in something so much bigger than myself!
For You, I sing, I dance. I rejoice in this divine romance!
The highlight of my trip home soon turned into an intense spiritual battle that raged for the duration of the afternoon, starting during lunch and extending to evening service. But God is still faithful.
Lift my heart and my hands to show my love.
How can I deserve you? How can I deserve any of it? I don't. I simply don't. But you don't ask if I deserve it. You give it anyway. Thank you.
For You, I sing, I dance. I rejoice in this divine romance!
The highlight of my trip home soon turned into an intense spiritual battle that raged for the duration of the afternoon, starting during lunch and extending to evening service. But God is still faithful.
Lift my heart and my hands to show my love.
How can I deserve you? How can I deserve any of it? I don't. I simply don't. But you don't ask if I deserve it. You give it anyway. Thank you.
1.16.2010
Lately.
Chai reminds me of:
-Buying from the street vendors and standing on the corner, three Americans, drinking their chai. Daniel sang, hand outstretched, to try and make some money. Two teenage girls in the backseat of a car laughed at us when I made eye-contact with them.
-Burning piles of rubbish.
-Walking down the pathway to the compound in the dark, afraid of tripping.
-Apartment mornings, before the rest of the world really seems awake. Straining my tea in the kitchen, looking out the window at the colors.
-Fancy Bazaar.
-Playing Nerts and singing.
-Dark streets.
-Choosing breakfast with Kyle at the hotel.
-Aamir Khan.
-Photo shoot, mocking the advertisements and security coming up to us.
-Playing in the traffic round-about.
-Village homes and the unspoken chai competition... and the house that totally lost.
-Salty lemon water.
-Samosas from the street vendor; trying to get by with out limited knowledge of the language and being mocked by our peers. We were trying at least!
-Carefully setting garbage down next to other trash heaps, looking around to make sure no one saw.
-Family.
Chai reminds me of family.
-Buying from the street vendors and standing on the corner, three Americans, drinking their chai. Daniel sang, hand outstretched, to try and make some money. Two teenage girls in the backseat of a car laughed at us when I made eye-contact with them.
-Burning piles of rubbish.
-Walking down the pathway to the compound in the dark, afraid of tripping.
-Apartment mornings, before the rest of the world really seems awake. Straining my tea in the kitchen, looking out the window at the colors.
-Fancy Bazaar.
-Playing Nerts and singing.
-Dark streets.
-Choosing breakfast with Kyle at the hotel.
-Aamir Khan.
-Photo shoot, mocking the advertisements and security coming up to us.
-Playing in the traffic round-about.
-Village homes and the unspoken chai competition... and the house that totally lost.
-Salty lemon water.
-Samosas from the street vendor; trying to get by with out limited knowledge of the language and being mocked by our peers. We were trying at least!
-Carefully setting garbage down next to other trash heaps, looking around to make sure no one saw.
-Family.
Chai reminds me of family.
1.12.2010
Tuesday Tribute.
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To Brad and Paige:
I am so glad we were able to spend Christmas, plus time before and after, together. I really look up to you both as an example of a godly relationship. You make me laugh and I feel comfortable talking with you about life and relationships and everything. Thanks for that.
Brad, I really appreciate the friendship we are developing as adults. I feel like I am almost just now starting to get to know you. It's fun seeing the man you have become, the man you are turning into. Thank you for having high standards in your life and for showing me that it's good to work hard, to be diligent, but to still take time to have fun.
Paige, I am so glad you joined our family. Thank you for asking about my life, for pursuing a friendship with me. I'm glad we have one in the works and I am excited about getting to know you more in the future. You are a great match for my brother. I love being your Boot Buddy and I look forward to being your Boot Buddy again in the future!
My hope for you guys is that you seek God together in every area of your lives. Wherever the military takes you, whatever needs you have, God will be there and will meet them.
1.11.2010
Free And Servant.
1 Peter 2:16 "Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God."
I am called to live freely, unbound by the chains of mediocrity and sin of this world.
I am called to live freely, forgetting others' standards.
I am called to live freely, learning from past sins and not dwelling on them.
And at the same time
I am called to live as a servant of God, doing His work in a lost world.
I am called to live as a servant of God, knowing that He is more important than all else.
I am called to live as a servant of God, obeying His commands and following His leading.
I am called to live freely, unbound by the chains of mediocrity and sin of this world.
I am called to live freely, forgetting others' standards.
I am called to live freely, learning from past sins and not dwelling on them.
And at the same time
I am called to live as a servant of God, doing His work in a lost world.
I am called to live as a servant of God, knowing that He is more important than all else.
I am called to live as a servant of God, obeying His commands and following His leading.
1.08.2010
"Dirty And Left Out." The Almost.
I've been dirtier than You wanna know
I've left earlier than You'll ever know
Ezekiel 43:7-12
He said: "Son of man, this is the place of My throne and the place for the soles of My feet. This is where I will live among the Israelites forever. The house of Israel will never again defile My Holy Name - neither they nor their kings - by their prostitution and the lifeless idols of their kings at their high places. When they placed their threshold next to My threshold and their doorposts beside My doorposts, with only a wall between Me and them, they defiled My Holy Name by their detestable practices. So I destroyed them in my anger. Now let them put away from Me their prostitution and the lifeless idols of their kings, and I will live among them forever. Son of man, describe the temple to the people of Israel, that they may be ashamed of their sins. Let them consider the plan, and if they are ashamed of all they have done, make known to them the design of the temple - its arrangement, its exits and entrances - its whole design and all its regulations and laws. Write these down before them so that they may be faithful to its design and follow its regulations. This is the law of the temple: All the surrounding area on top of the mountain will be most holy. Such is the law of the temple."
I've been dirtier than You wanna know
I've left earlier than You'll ever know.
I've left earlier than You'll ever know
Ezekiel 43:7-12
He said: "Son of man, this is the place of My throne and the place for the soles of My feet. This is where I will live among the Israelites forever. The house of Israel will never again defile My Holy Name - neither they nor their kings - by their prostitution and the lifeless idols of their kings at their high places. When they placed their threshold next to My threshold and their doorposts beside My doorposts, with only a wall between Me and them, they defiled My Holy Name by their detestable practices. So I destroyed them in my anger. Now let them put away from Me their prostitution and the lifeless idols of their kings, and I will live among them forever. Son of man, describe the temple to the people of Israel, that they may be ashamed of their sins. Let them consider the plan, and if they are ashamed of all they have done, make known to them the design of the temple - its arrangement, its exits and entrances - its whole design and all its regulations and laws. Write these down before them so that they may be faithful to its design and follow its regulations. This is the law of the temple: All the surrounding area on top of the mountain will be most holy. Such is the law of the temple."
I've been dirtier than You wanna know
I've left earlier than You'll ever know.
Don't Tell Me Let Go.
Again, I'm Over It.
I've been thinking a lot lately about worship, the battle going on for me, and choices I have in worship. God deserves my best. The hardest thing in that is being aware of when I am giving Him my best and when I am not.
Worship music, continuously, but just certain songs.
"Hallelujahs" - Chris Rice
"Meteor Shower" - Owl City
"I Will Believe" - Nicole Nordeman
"The Sun and the Moon" - Mae
"Search Me, Know Me" - Jonah 33
"The great thing about choosing to worship something other than God is that I can choose to change that and make it right again." - C.L.
Sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, talking. Sharing life. I fell asleep while watching "Peter Pan." We invented dinner together. I enjoy cooking with him. Everything is done so deliberately, from crushing the Ramen to his thought process that leads to straining the vegetables. He thinks through everything. I don't. I drove the truck from the basket on top. No records exist of this. I didn't know what to do, so eventually he took over again and showed me the ropes, so to speak. "Hey this is my girlfriend... yeah, that was out of the blue." Chase waved from the window next door, making me laugh. I think that was Tim standing by the truck, or maybe Ian. Huh. They lingered until I told Chris goodbye and drove off. Do they remember me?
Socks. Boots. Snow. Walk. Moose. Chocolate moose. Chocolate gun. Knife. Throwing knife. Tree. Hiking. Moose. Chocolate moose... Full circle in my mind.
Is it really that interesting? It's tiring sometimes. I wish I had fewer connections, and yet, if I did, I'm sure I would wish for more. That's how it works. You wish for something until you get it. The grass isn't always greener. The stars are not always clearer. Love is not always greater or easier. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Time will only tell you and no one else.
The walk was fun, but I wish it had been clear. There were no clouds in the valley when I got home. The stars shone brilliantly in the sky. I took my Snuggie and a chair outside and read Psalm 18. Then... no shooting star. Sigh.
I've been thinking a lot lately about worship, the battle going on for me, and choices I have in worship. God deserves my best. The hardest thing in that is being aware of when I am giving Him my best and when I am not.
Worship music, continuously, but just certain songs.
"Hallelujahs" - Chris Rice
"Meteor Shower" - Owl City
"I Will Believe" - Nicole Nordeman
"The Sun and the Moon" - Mae
"Search Me, Know Me" - Jonah 33
"The great thing about choosing to worship something other than God is that I can choose to change that and make it right again." - C.L.
Sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, talking. Sharing life. I fell asleep while watching "Peter Pan." We invented dinner together. I enjoy cooking with him. Everything is done so deliberately, from crushing the Ramen to his thought process that leads to straining the vegetables. He thinks through everything. I don't. I drove the truck from the basket on top. No records exist of this. I didn't know what to do, so eventually he took over again and showed me the ropes, so to speak. "Hey this is my girlfriend... yeah, that was out of the blue." Chase waved from the window next door, making me laugh. I think that was Tim standing by the truck, or maybe Ian. Huh. They lingered until I told Chris goodbye and drove off. Do they remember me?
Socks. Boots. Snow. Walk. Moose. Chocolate moose. Chocolate gun. Knife. Throwing knife. Tree. Hiking. Moose. Chocolate moose... Full circle in my mind.
Is it really that interesting? It's tiring sometimes. I wish I had fewer connections, and yet, if I did, I'm sure I would wish for more. That's how it works. You wish for something until you get it. The grass isn't always greener. The stars are not always clearer. Love is not always greater or easier. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Time will only tell you and no one else.
The walk was fun, but I wish it had been clear. There were no clouds in the valley when I got home. The stars shone brilliantly in the sky. I took my Snuggie and a chair outside and read Psalm 18. Then... no shooting star. Sigh.
1.05.2010
Educating Esme.
I stayed up late reading a book for fun. I can't remember the last time I actually did that. It was called Educating Esme and it basically made me really excited about teaching.
Esme was crazy; during her first year of teaching, she roller-skated down the hallway, made a time-travel reading nook, organized an American Girl book club, and wouldn't let the principal walk all over her. She is my new role-model.
Esme was crazy; during her first year of teaching, she roller-skated down the hallway, made a time-travel reading nook, organized an American Girl book club, and wouldn't let the principal walk all over her. She is my new role-model.
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