The May memory verse for Sunday School is 1 Peter 1:24-25 “All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field: the grass withers and flowers fall… but the Word of the Lord stands forever. And this is the Word that was preached to you!” (Emphasis mine.)
Because I have spent the last few nights practicing the verses for Verse Alert, I ended up reading some of 1 Peter, particularly verses 1:13-25. But tonight, I backed up a little to verse 3.
You see, my journaling tonight centered on what I learned while I was in South Asia, which is the same thing my Pastor preached about in church this morning. After last night’s breakthrough, it was a wonderful confirmation of God’s faithfulness. But I digress. After thinking some more about Mary’s sacrifice (cf John 12:1-8) and spiritual act of worship (Romans 12:1-2), I started thinking about worship in general. Pastor Tom mentioned that just the realization of who God is should spring up worship in us. As I thought about it, sure enough, that worship grew and grew in my soul. I became so excited for Who God is.
1 Peter 1:3 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!” and goes on to talk about the inheritance I have as a believer. But the part that stood out to me tonight – the part the Holy Spirit made to leap off the page, came in verse 5: “… who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time…” (Emphasis mine.) Guarded through faith for a salvation. Guarded. All those doubts? All those fears? That anxiety? The frustration and sadness? Through it all, I was being guarded. My salvation was being guarded. GUARDED! (I’m picturing angels standing next to me, while Satan tries to snatch away my salvation. Those angels are ensuring with flashing swords that he is not successful. Because even when I don’t feel it, I am still being guarded.)
Verse 6 continues, “In this you REJOICE!!!!!” (Emphasis totally mine.) Peter’s saying, in effect, “Hey guys! Life is hard! You are exiled and left in a land that is unfamiliar to you. You don’t know what’s going on or when you’ll get some guidance from the Lord. BUT! Your faith is being perfected and your salvation is being guarded! Yeah, I know you can’t see God. But don’t you see?! You still have faith big enough to love Him and believe in Him! Your faith is growing – He is growing you up! Rejoice in that!”
God is growing me up. And He is guarding me all the way. Guarding His child, precious in His sight.
5.31.2011
5.29.2011
First Peter, Chapter One.
The May memory verse for Sunday School is 1 Peter 1:24-25 “All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field: the grass withers and flowers fall… but the Word of the Lord stands forever. And this is the Word that was preached to you!” (Emphasis mine.)
Because I have spent the last few nights practicing the verses for Verse Alert, I ended up reading some of 1 Peter, particularly verses 1:13-25. But tonight, I backed up a little to verse 3.
You see, my journaling tonight centered on what I learned while I was in South Asia, which is the same thing my Pastor preached about in church this morning. After last night’s breakthrough, it was a wonderful confirmation of God’s faithfulness. But I digress. After thinking some more about Mary’s sacrifice (cf John 12:1-8) and spiritual act of worship (Romans 12:1-2), I started thinking about worship in general. Pastor Tom mentioned that just the realization of who God is should spring up worship in us. As I thought about it, sure enough, that worship grew and grew in my soul. I became so excited for Who God is.
1 Peter 1:3 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!” and goes on to talk about the inheritance I have as a believer. But the part that stood out to me tonight – the part the Holy Spirit made to leap off the page, came in verse 5: “… who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time…” (Emphasis mine.) Guarded through faith for a salvation. Guarded. All those doubts? All those fears? That anxiety? The frustration and sadness? Through it all, I was being guarded. My salvation was being guarded. GUARDED! (I’m picturing angels standing next to me, while Satan tries to snatch away my salvation. Those angels are ensuring with flashing swords that he is not successful. Because even when I don’t feel it, I am still being guarded.)
Verse 6 continues, “In this you REJOICE!!!!!” (Emphasis totally mine.) Peter’s saying, in effect, “Hey guys! Life is hard! You are exiled and left in a land that is unfamiliar to you. You don’t know what’s going on or when you’ll get some guidance from the Lord. BUT! Your faith is being perfected and your salvation is being guarded! Yeah, I know you can’t see God. But don’t you see?! You still have faith big enough to love Him and believe in Him! Your faith is growing – He is growing you up! Rejoice in that!”
God is growing me up. And He is guarding me all the way. Guarding His child, precious in His sight.
Because I have spent the last few nights practicing the verses for Verse Alert, I ended up reading some of 1 Peter, particularly verses 1:13-25. But tonight, I backed up a little to verse 3.
You see, my journaling tonight centered on what I learned while I was in South Asia, which is the same thing my Pastor preached about in church this morning. After last night’s breakthrough, it was a wonderful confirmation of God’s faithfulness. But I digress. After thinking some more about Mary’s sacrifice (cf John 12:1-8) and spiritual act of worship (Romans 12:1-2), I started thinking about worship in general. Pastor Tom mentioned that just the realization of who God is should spring up worship in us. As I thought about it, sure enough, that worship grew and grew in my soul. I became so excited for Who God is.
1 Peter 1:3 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!” and goes on to talk about the inheritance I have as a believer. But the part that stood out to me tonight – the part the Holy Spirit made to leap off the page, came in verse 5: “… who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time…” (Emphasis mine.) Guarded through faith for a salvation. Guarded. All those doubts? All those fears? That anxiety? The frustration and sadness? Through it all, I was being guarded. My salvation was being guarded. GUARDED! (I’m picturing angels standing next to me, while Satan tries to snatch away my salvation. Those angels are ensuring with flashing swords that he is not successful. Because even when I don’t feel it, I am still being guarded.)
Verse 6 continues, “In this you REJOICE!!!!!” (Emphasis totally mine.) Peter’s saying, in effect, “Hey guys! Life is hard! You are exiled and left in a land that is unfamiliar to you. You don’t know what’s going on or when you’ll get some guidance from the Lord. BUT! Your faith is being perfected and your salvation is being guarded! Yeah, I know you can’t see God. But don’t you see?! You still have faith big enough to love Him and believe in Him! Your faith is growing – He is growing you up! Rejoice in that!”
God is growing me up. And He is guarding me all the way. Guarding His child, precious in His sight.
5.28.2011
Still Learning.
Lessons from my own life: How I know God is Real.
When I was five, I felt convicted to kneel at our couch and pray, asking Him to be my Savior. Even then, I recognized my position as a sinner and His position as Lord of the Universe.
While attending GVAC, there was the time the man went forward as part of that skit Paula did – I was reminded then of God’s ability to change and transform lives, even though I was only 10 or 11, probably.
At MYPD, I felt so lost and confused; I was uncertain about life, especially life everlasting. That night, I rededicated my life to Him and felt that huge burden lift. I know at that moment, He became my Lord also… and sometimes, yes, I have booted Him from that throne, kicking Him out of the throne room of my heart. Repent.
I can’t be the Lord of my life, God. I can’t do it. I am a sinner, with desires of my own that do NOT please You. Too often I walk according to my flesh, not according to the call You’ve placed on me. Forgive me, Father. I step off my throne again to give You back Your rightful place. You are Lord. You are my Hope. You are my Salvation. And I love you. God, I mean it. I believe… but help my unbelief.
Back from MYPD, I spent the summer serving: VBS after VBS, summer camps, etc. God used me to lead children to Himself; I was His vessel. Then, sure enough, He proved faithful again – calling me into missions. I still don’t know the extent to which that call will lead, but I have seen Him be faithful:
1. That summer around Alaska.
2. Travelling to North Carolina for CrossWalk, right after Grandma died and I didn’t want to go.
3. Hawaii.
4. Florida.
5. South Africa; providing all the money, all the prayer support, safety, blessing upon blessing as I shared His love through His strength. Tahmee showed me that God exists. His love changed her life. Mama Vuyi showed me that redemption is possible. Brianna showed me that God unites. Sofani showed me contentment in Him. Candace showed me hope. Let the world crash, love can take it.
6. India. That phone call from Tezpur should have been the end of me. I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t continue. His strength was my all in all. The confidence that He had led me there in a matter of a month and half, stemming from a random conversation on the way home from Mission Center. Those friendships, instant connections with people I barely knew. Those times when we should have been frustrated, but laughed instead. Those times when the electricity was out or the AC was leaking… God showed Himself faithful again and again. The birds. “Watch the birds. Just like I show them where to go, I will show you where to go.”
That summer: the end of one relationship, the start of another. A call to purity and patience. Rest. Faith.
NOT going overseas; change of plans; provision in the form of a job at Machetanz; not getting the job in Bristol Bay; the offer of a job in the Valley (but not what I expected); now, on to Old Harbor for a week or two.
I can only cling to the promises I know. I can only know the promises through spending time in His word. My relationship with God is similar to any other relationship: it takes time, communication, a commitment, trust, and forgiveness. Showing love to God is more than just sitting in Sunday School and church on Sundays. It’s more than singing, or even going forward during the invitation to pray. It’s more than my 15 minutes in the morning, spent praying and in His word. It’s being patient when His timing is not my own. It’s being kind to Him – not angry or bitter about how things are not going my way. It is walking by faith, always trusting and persevering, even when the road is rocky and shifty. He is not sand. He is the Rock on which my life and faith is built.
Jesus Christ, born of a virgin, is the Son of God. He lived a perfect life on earth, dedicated to serving His Father in obedience. Because of His perfection and obedience, He died on the cross at Calvary, the perfect redemptive price for me, a sinner lost in my worldliness. His resurrection three days after His death broke Satan’s chains on me and people worldwide, from Papua New Guinea to the Serengeti, to the jungles of Brazil and all places in-between. Jesus Christ is the one way to have eternal life with God, the Maker and Lover of all things.
I believe.
I believe.
When I was five, I felt convicted to kneel at our couch and pray, asking Him to be my Savior. Even then, I recognized my position as a sinner and His position as Lord of the Universe.
While attending GVAC, there was the time the man went forward as part of that skit Paula did – I was reminded then of God’s ability to change and transform lives, even though I was only 10 or 11, probably.
At MYPD, I felt so lost and confused; I was uncertain about life, especially life everlasting. That night, I rededicated my life to Him and felt that huge burden lift. I know at that moment, He became my Lord also… and sometimes, yes, I have booted Him from that throne, kicking Him out of the throne room of my heart. Repent.
I can’t be the Lord of my life, God. I can’t do it. I am a sinner, with desires of my own that do NOT please You. Too often I walk according to my flesh, not according to the call You’ve placed on me. Forgive me, Father. I step off my throne again to give You back Your rightful place. You are Lord. You are my Hope. You are my Salvation. And I love you. God, I mean it. I believe… but help my unbelief.
Back from MYPD, I spent the summer serving: VBS after VBS, summer camps, etc. God used me to lead children to Himself; I was His vessel. Then, sure enough, He proved faithful again – calling me into missions. I still don’t know the extent to which that call will lead, but I have seen Him be faithful:
1. That summer around Alaska.
2. Travelling to North Carolina for CrossWalk, right after Grandma died and I didn’t want to go.
3. Hawaii.
4. Florida.
5. South Africa; providing all the money, all the prayer support, safety, blessing upon blessing as I shared His love through His strength. Tahmee showed me that God exists. His love changed her life. Mama Vuyi showed me that redemption is possible. Brianna showed me that God unites. Sofani showed me contentment in Him. Candace showed me hope. Let the world crash, love can take it.
6. India. That phone call from Tezpur should have been the end of me. I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t continue. His strength was my all in all. The confidence that He had led me there in a matter of a month and half, stemming from a random conversation on the way home from Mission Center. Those friendships, instant connections with people I barely knew. Those times when we should have been frustrated, but laughed instead. Those times when the electricity was out or the AC was leaking… God showed Himself faithful again and again. The birds. “Watch the birds. Just like I show them where to go, I will show you where to go.”
That summer: the end of one relationship, the start of another. A call to purity and patience. Rest. Faith.
NOT going overseas; change of plans; provision in the form of a job at Machetanz; not getting the job in Bristol Bay; the offer of a job in the Valley (but not what I expected); now, on to Old Harbor for a week or two.
I can only cling to the promises I know. I can only know the promises through spending time in His word. My relationship with God is similar to any other relationship: it takes time, communication, a commitment, trust, and forgiveness. Showing love to God is more than just sitting in Sunday School and church on Sundays. It’s more than singing, or even going forward during the invitation to pray. It’s more than my 15 minutes in the morning, spent praying and in His word. It’s being patient when His timing is not my own. It’s being kind to Him – not angry or bitter about how things are not going my way. It is walking by faith, always trusting and persevering, even when the road is rocky and shifty. He is not sand. He is the Rock on which my life and faith is built.
Jesus Christ, born of a virgin, is the Son of God. He lived a perfect life on earth, dedicated to serving His Father in obedience. Because of His perfection and obedience, He died on the cross at Calvary, the perfect redemptive price for me, a sinner lost in my worldliness. His resurrection three days after His death broke Satan’s chains on me and people worldwide, from Papua New Guinea to the Serengeti, to the jungles of Brazil and all places in-between. Jesus Christ is the one way to have eternal life with God, the Maker and Lover of all things.
I believe.
I believe.
5.09.2011
The Song.
The Song of Solomon 2:15 "Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom."
I've been thinking lately. Life is NOT going as I planned. Jobs for the fall fall through; relationships take more work that I anticipated; summer plans turn up empty. And yet, my relationship with the Lord could be in full bloom if I let it. Instead, I am allowing these foxes to come in and spoil my vineyard. They are digging holes of doubt, eating off leaves of submission, leaving pride and self-centeredness in their wake. Destruction and emotions and confusion. And not just in my relationship with God, but in my relationship with others.
When did the foxes get in and how do I get rid of them? 2 Corinthians 10:5 "We...take every thought captive to obey Christ."
The Song of Solomon 3:2 "I will seek him whom my soul loves..."
I believe that my soul is the part of me that will live forever with the Lord in heaven. My spiritual part, according to Webster. So what control do I have over who my soul loves? I'm called to love with Lord with all my heart and mind and body and soul... but do or will I love one certain man with my soul, too?
The Song of Solomon 4:9 "You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace."
Reading this verse in church on Sunday, I was... shocked. As in, I almost started crying. Me. I am captivating. It hit me hard this time, on a day when I was hurt and not feeling desired or beautiful or lovely or - in the least bit! - captivating. But one look. One look at the Lord of the Universe and HE is captivated.
Captivate: to fascinate
Wow. Fascinated. Can't take His eyes off me. Made powerless by a look or presence.
And yet, when I am in His presence, that's how I feel. Powerless by Him. Fascinated. Like I don't want to be anywhere but there, bowed at His feet, prostrate in worship. How could I not love Him? How could I let foxes into the vineyard? Why would I want to love anyone else with my soul but Him?
Reading through The Song of Solomon again is so nice - so challenging and eye-opening. Seeing how the man and woman talk to and about one another... what a challenge! They never mention anything negative; no "Your Mother is crazy!" "I can't believe you said THAT to me!" "You forgot to fill-in-the-blank again!" Nope. Never. They are all positive. They bring out the best in one another, pointing out both the physical, and the internal purity and strength.
When I am angry or confused at God, when I feel like I've fallen from grace, it's so much easier to nit-pick at the things I think are wrong. But what if - what if - for thirty days, I spent thirty minutes a day worshiping? Not asking for anything, not seeking my own gain, but in worship. Real worship. And learning, over the next thirty days, what real worship really is. Different kinds of worship. Would my focus change? How would my relationship with the Lord change? Would I feel a need for Him again? A need to be in His presence? Would I get rid of the foxes? Fall more in love with Him in my soul? Would we both be more captivated? Captivated.
On repeat: "Times" by Tenth Avenue North
I've been thinking lately. Life is NOT going as I planned. Jobs for the fall fall through; relationships take more work that I anticipated; summer plans turn up empty. And yet, my relationship with the Lord could be in full bloom if I let it. Instead, I am allowing these foxes to come in and spoil my vineyard. They are digging holes of doubt, eating off leaves of submission, leaving pride and self-centeredness in their wake. Destruction and emotions and confusion. And not just in my relationship with God, but in my relationship with others.
When did the foxes get in and how do I get rid of them? 2 Corinthians 10:5 "We...take every thought captive to obey Christ."
The Song of Solomon 3:2 "I will seek him whom my soul loves..."
I believe that my soul is the part of me that will live forever with the Lord in heaven. My spiritual part, according to Webster. So what control do I have over who my soul loves? I'm called to love with Lord with all my heart and mind and body and soul... but do or will I love one certain man with my soul, too?
The Song of Solomon 4:9 "You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace."
Reading this verse in church on Sunday, I was... shocked. As in, I almost started crying. Me. I am captivating. It hit me hard this time, on a day when I was hurt and not feeling desired or beautiful or lovely or - in the least bit! - captivating. But one look. One look at the Lord of the Universe and HE is captivated.
Captivate: to fascinate
Wow. Fascinated. Can't take His eyes off me. Made powerless by a look or presence.
And yet, when I am in His presence, that's how I feel. Powerless by Him. Fascinated. Like I don't want to be anywhere but there, bowed at His feet, prostrate in worship. How could I not love Him? How could I let foxes into the vineyard? Why would I want to love anyone else with my soul but Him?
Reading through The Song of Solomon again is so nice - so challenging and eye-opening. Seeing how the man and woman talk to and about one another... what a challenge! They never mention anything negative; no "Your Mother is crazy!" "I can't believe you said THAT to me!" "You forgot to fill-in-the-blank again!" Nope. Never. They are all positive. They bring out the best in one another, pointing out both the physical, and the internal purity and strength.
When I am angry or confused at God, when I feel like I've fallen from grace, it's so much easier to nit-pick at the things I think are wrong. But what if - what if - for thirty days, I spent thirty minutes a day worshiping? Not asking for anything, not seeking my own gain, but in worship. Real worship. And learning, over the next thirty days, what real worship really is. Different kinds of worship. Would my focus change? How would my relationship with the Lord change? Would I feel a need for Him again? A need to be in His presence? Would I get rid of the foxes? Fall more in love with Him in my soul? Would we both be more captivated? Captivated.
On repeat: "Times" by Tenth Avenue North
5.04.2011
To Teach Or Not To Teach?
Lately, I've been thinking: What if I don't actually want to be a teacher? What if I want to go back to school to study, like, mummies or marine biology, or something? Am I having a mid-life crisis before I reach the age of 23?
My job, so often, is mundane, with limited outlets for creativity or excitement. Then, this afternoon, I fell back in love with teaching. It was marvelous.
I encouraged three fourth graders to be excited about writing "How To" reports; we voted on the winner and they received a sparkly sticker. (The winner wrote about how to clean out a griffin's cage. Step one: Put on a gas mask.) Then, I told a really wonderful story to first graders about a griffin named Gregory who likes to eat Green Beans and order mashed potatoes with sprinkles for dessert. It was funny and creative and they liked it.
But alas. I was not hired by Bristol Bay. Even though they gushed over my resume. And my interview. And my references. Instead, the person they hired had more experience. HOWEVER, I got home today and there was a message from the Superintendent at Bristol Bay. Upon calling him back, he told me that he had passed my name to the Sup. of another school district that is hiring. He said that they really were impressed and were bummed with how the chips fell this time. SO maybe there's hope after all. Maybe.
My job, so often, is mundane, with limited outlets for creativity or excitement. Then, this afternoon, I fell back in love with teaching. It was marvelous.
I encouraged three fourth graders to be excited about writing "How To" reports; we voted on the winner and they received a sparkly sticker. (The winner wrote about how to clean out a griffin's cage. Step one: Put on a gas mask.) Then, I told a really wonderful story to first graders about a griffin named Gregory who likes to eat Green Beans and order mashed potatoes with sprinkles for dessert. It was funny and creative and they liked it.
But alas. I was not hired by Bristol Bay. Even though they gushed over my resume. And my interview. And my references. Instead, the person they hired had more experience. HOWEVER, I got home today and there was a message from the Superintendent at Bristol Bay. Upon calling him back, he told me that he had passed my name to the Sup. of another school district that is hiring. He said that they really were impressed and were bummed with how the chips fell this time. SO maybe there's hope after all. Maybe.
5.03.2011
Trust.
Well. Learning to wait, again.
Proverbs 3:5-6 MUST hold true in my life. I must allow it. I still have worth because my hope is NOT in a job; it is in the Lord. He is my strength and my shield.
Okay, world. You can't get me down again. (But please - don't try too hard...)
Proverbs 3:5-6 MUST hold true in my life. I must allow it. I still have worth because my hope is NOT in a job; it is in the Lord. He is my strength and my shield.
Okay, world. You can't get me down again. (But please - don't try too hard...)
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