Fan o' Life

So I'm quite a fan of life. I mean, yeah, it's hard sometimes and at those times I don't like it, but then God keeps showing me that even though THAT part of my life may be over, other parts are just beginning. And it is really exciting. So that's all I wanted to say right now.

Feelings On Overload

Just got home from school. It was okay, but the best part was after school. Jade had already left her locker, so it was just me and Kristina. Lately, it has been really akward between us...for like the past 5 months or so, we haven't really talked. But today, Kristina said, "I think we need to talk." and it just like opened the doors. So we began to talk. And not just "How's the weather today?" but like really talk about what had happened to our friendship. We talked about our friendship, friends, friendships gone bad, relationships, college...all this stuff that we hadn't talked about at all in forever. It was really nice. And I realized that Kristina understands a lot of what I go through...because she goes through it too.

So we each appologized. And it was good. So I don't know. But I think my friendship with Kristina is going to get better after being meh for so long. I'm praying it will, anyway. I've missed her. It may sound crazy because she's been like two lockers down from me for the past 2 months almost, but it was as if we were a world apart.

Then Joe Heimerl came up while we were "girl talking" and tried to join in...and it was funny.

So now I'm happy.

And I talked to my mom yesterday about...well, anyway. So I sat in the car just crying on the way to church while she held my hand and then when we got there she prayed for me. And I'm SUPER grateful for a Mom like her.

I Love

Oh, there is somethingI love as well. I love it when God shows you something. Like yesterday in Youth Alive, Nichol mentioned Peter and in my Mid-East reading, it mentioned Peter, but I didn't think much about it until last night when I was praying, and pouring my heart out to God, asking if He even understood, when all of a sudden the Holy Spirit reminded me of Peter. AndI got soo stoked. I pulled out my Bible (well, it was right by my bed, but whatever) and opened it to where Peter denied Jesus, and I got so happy! It's like, God DOES know what it is like to be "whatevered" by your friends, and to be denied and such. It was such a cool realization. Then I turned to 1 Peter 4:12-13, which says like don't be upset if you are suffering, but be happy because Jesus suffered, too. And it's like I'm suffering exaclty how He suffered. And it was awesome. I love that.

I Hate

I hate when you believe in something so strongly, when you think nothing will or can ever change it, when you hold on to it for dear life, when all of a sudden you find out that all you have put your faith in is false. It's false and it has been that way for a long time and it will probably always be like that, but you can't change it. And I hate the feeling you get in your stomach when you realize it, a feeling half way between anger and hurt. And I hate the tears that come indefinately. And I hate that I can't even talk about it. Yes, that is what I truly hate. And I hate that almost everyone in the entire world knew about it... except me.

Purity and Parties

The purity retreat Sunday to Monday was so much fun! I'm so proud of my mom for what she shared for her purity testimony. And all the ladies, really! Ms. Janelle, W Dawg, and Firefighter Toso did an awesome job decorating! They brought in couches and candles and confetti. It looked so pretty. It was fun just talking with Lily and Megan, aka LM squared. Sunday night, we all snuck out a window and ran around the building trying to scare the ladies...totally didn't work and we got in major trouble. And Megan and Maria each got sick which was NOT fun. But holy cow, I learned so much! Like purity is more than just the "virgin line" and that God made sex to be fun...in marriage.

I love my church. I love the Acteens. I love God. Pretty much, I just love.

Went to Sydni's birthday party on Saturday... every other person there was like in 8th grade and either 13 or 14 years old. Then there was me. A Senior in high school, age 17. It was fun. I hung out with Lily and Megan. :) I love Syd, so I had to go. And I wanted to. Cha.

It's so hard to change habits. I want so badly to give up my "fake pearls" but... aargh. I need God's help so much.

Yeah, that's all.

Art Hurts.

I fell off of my stool in art the other day. I had my right leg crossed over my left one, but it kept slipping, so I kept kicking something with my right foot everytime it fell. Afraid that I was kicking Forrest, I leaned over to see what I was kicking...and I just kept falling. I ended up sitting on the floor, blushing and laughing because it was really funny. Liza and Forrest thought so too. Turns out I WAS kicking Forrest. Oops.

Got progress report today. I have 4 A+'s and 1 B+ in guess what subject? Yeah, ART. I hope I don't fail art. How embarrasing would that be? About as embarrasing as falling off of your stool.

Currently I'm trying to find pictures of chairs. And that is all.

Forgetting It Is Friday

I had thought of something to say, but now the thought has escaped me. I hate it when that happens.

SAT's tomorrow.

Ah, right, now I remember. So I don't have a first period, and because of that, I get to sleep in. On Thursdays, I don't have to be there until like 8:34, but on Fridays I haveto be there at 8:13ish. So this morning, I woke up, got ready, and went to school. And I'm sitting in front of my locker, and the bell to end first period is taking FOREVER to ring. So I'm just sitting there for about 30 minutes, when I decide to find out what time it is. I turn on my phone and it's like 8:52. So I run up to someone in the hall and they tell me that it is in the middle of second period. I begin my silent freaking out because secondperiod is over halfway through, but I grab my stuff and rush to the class. I walk in and everyone is all, "ohh...you're late..." but wehad a sub, so she just marked me as tardy...whew. It was really funny and I felt so dumb for not remembering it was Friday. gosh.

So that's all. But this is my 40th post. woohoo!

Blowing Up The Van

I really love Wednesday nights at Acteens. Hanging out with Sydni, Maria, Megan, and now Alizabeth and Ashley and Morgan really makes me happy. We're doing service projects, and last night we were going to start Alizabeth's project at the Valley Crisis Pregnancy Center. So we had to take the Root's van because there were so many people that night. And Ms. Janelle is driving. Dun dun dun...

So we pile into the van and start going down the road. Ms. Janelle has never driven their van before, but we're goin pretty fast. Soon we start smelling something really gross. We think nothing of it and start teasing Sydni about her stinky brothers (she has like a million brothers), and she was all, "No, my brothers smell like B.O. This is like oil or somthing." So Maria starts blaming Megan, and we're all laughing and having a good time, besides the fact that the smell is getting worse and making us gag. Then all of a sudden we hear a voice:

"Um, guys, why is the van smoking?"

So then Sydni realizes that Ms. Janelle drove her van for 5 miles with the emergency brake on!!

Chaos breaks out! Smoke is literally pouring out from under the van! Ms. Janelle pulls into someone's drive way and we just sit there for a minute, until Megan is all, "OH MY GOSH! THE VAN IS GOING TO BLOW UP! EVERYONE RUN!!!!!" And she tears open the door, jumps out and sprints away. We all sit there for a second and follow. So there we were, 5 miles from church, with 7 girls and 1 chaperone, not knowing if the car is safe to drive, and with no one home in the house whose driveway we pulled into.

I had the Root's camera, so, of course, we all took pictures by the van, holding our noses and everything because it REEKED of burning brakes. No joke. And it was still smoking. So after like 10 minutes, we decide it is okay to go back to the church, so we get back into the van and leave, and it was super funny.

We kept laughing, and of course, when we got back to the church, we told like everyone what had happened.

Praise God the van didn't blow up!

Some Socks and a Donut

Oh my word. The Third Day concert las night was AMAZING! It was beautiful. There were, quite literally, 4000 people there! Who would have thought that 4000 people would go see Third Day in Anchorage? And they are in Fairbanks tomorrow.

lol

"Do you still want the dinosaurs? Because if you do, I'll get them for you for your birthday."
"Yeah, and I want some socks and a donut."

"What are y'all thinking about?"
"Taco Bell."

lol

Switchfoot is coming up and I am quite stoked about that. We want to get front row seats and make shirts or something. How awesome would that be?

It was just 6 of us at the concert, in the group I went with. Kristina went with a bunch of people, but I didn't go with them. Saw Kate though, which was really cool. Hadn't seen her since before I went to NY in May. So that was nifty.

And... oh, so Jeff told Mom that he and Kayla are getting married... but not until like Januar 2007. Phew.

Liza, Forrest and I decided that every Wednesday we are going to wear black shirts. We've each done that for the past two weeks so it is official now. Oh man. Today, our art teacher totally freaked out at some kids and yelled at them. They were being really disrespectful. Serves them right.

Adopted a snail (escargot) in French class. Her name is Zoe. Jade calls her Oui Oui. It means life. Zoe, I mean. Zoe means life. Oui Oui means yes yes. Brad wrote a song called "Oui Oui" when he was home. It cracks me up thinking about it. I love my brothers.

Sigh.

It was happy, don't worry.

Me and My Art Project

How cool that out of everything in this entire world, all the people and things we are taught in school and our friends and our feelings and EVERYTHING, we never have to question God? He's always the same and He's always there.

I decided that one of my favorite things EVER is to drive in the evening with no music or noise and just pray. Out loud. And you just talk to Him. Because really, He is my best friend and I love Him a lot. A lot a lot.

Today in art class, we had to draw one of our fingerprints, and as I was drawing mine, I couldn't stop thinking. I mean, God spent so much time and effort and love and care on making my thumb print absolutely perfect for me. And I've been feeling rather body conscious lately. So it's like, God chose this aret assignment for me to show me that I AM special and that He DID make me exactly how He wants me. It was very cool.

So I'm really in love with God.

Oh, and pray for Megan and the Bowkers LOTS today.