Miracles and Lazarus

"And [Lazarus] who had died came out bound hand and foot with graveclothes, and his face was wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, '"Loose him, and let him go.'" John 11:44

I love this verse. I'm studying my Bible lesson for Sunday, and when I got to this verse, I thought it was really super sweet. I mean, Jesus was like heart broken about Lazarus' death, so much so that He cried. Then there is such power in His voice, that even death is controlled by it.

So Jesus is just like, "Come here Lazarus" and Lazarus comes out of the tomb. Then everyone there mourning just like looks at him and they don't unwrap him until Jesus tells them to. And, I don't know, but it's awesome.

Part of the Bible Study with this Sunday School lesson, one of the questions was "What miracles do you need Jesus to do in your life?" And it got me thinking. What miracles DO I need? His love is a miracle in my life. I so do not deserve it, but here He is, just loving me. And the fact that His love is so abundant that He DIED FOR ME is even more incredible, even more of a miracle. The fact that the sun and moon and stars come out every day without fail is a miracle, because without God, we wouldn't even have them. And my family. And friends. And church. But what other miracles do I need?

I would feel almost bad if I ask for more. There are kids in Africa, and even here in America that have so much less than I do. Yet, I want more? That doesn't make sense.

But, I do want more. I want more of God, and I want to follow Him more. I want others to know about Him, but I'm not doing a very good job in that department.

Jesus is a miracle worker. I have the miracles in my life to prove that. I believe in miracles because I'm a miracle myself.

Blah.

I'm so sick of it all.

So sick of school work pileing (I know that's not who to spell it) up, of work, of prom stuff. I'm sick of feeling overwhelmed and like I can't do anything right.

I'm tired. I'm grumpy. I have tons of work to do. It's past 9:30 pm and I just want to go to bed.

I'm in a complaining mood, but really, I just want to talk to God.

Aargh. Sigh. jklfsuebqp bhjrtabnsdklmbc.

Yeah, pretty much.

A Story.

Once upon a time, I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. The end.

I Need a Heart Change

I'm -excited- about prom. Not as much as last year, but last year was rather prom crazy, I must say. This year will be fun. HOPEFULLY, no parents driving us in, though we may still have a sweet van. Or Cody's parents' Explorer. Either way.

And I'm going with an awesome group of people who I actually like which is nice. I liked last year's group, too, but last year was...I don't know. It's like, I knew all of them, but I never really talked to any of them, besides like Jade and Kristina and Hannah. And this year it's those three, me (duh) and Cody and Chris. So I'm excited.

And I was talking to God last night...because that's what I do...and... we'll see what happens.

I ate maklak today. Whale blubber. It tasted very...whale-blubbery. And it was slimy and kind of rubbery. INteresting. It was an experience, to say the least.

And I went tanning yesterday, and I got red. But...that's okay. I still have like 1 1/2 weeks until prom. It was really weird lying in a tanning bed. Becuase you just lie there. And all you can really do is think. I started counting, but I didn't start at one, and I can't remember what I stopped at. So I don't even know what the point of it was, other than to occupy myself for 10 minutes. Then I forgot I was counting, and I started talking to myself and to God.

Speaking of God, today Youth Alive was cool. This one girl, Caitlin, talked about listening to God, and it was neat-o to hear what someone other than Nichol and Traci have to say at YA. Then we were sharing prayer requests, and this one girl, Mikayla, totally opened up about what was going on in her life, which was also cool that she trusted everyone there enough to share. So I'm going to keep her in my prayers. I think she and her family needs it. Everyone needs it.

I think I'm selfish when I pray. I mean, a lot of the time, I just pray about things going on in my life. I mean, I take time to praise God and ask for forgiveness, and then it's all about me. And I know it shouldn't be, but I don't really think I know how to pray for other people.

It's kind of sad that so much of our society is centered on us, and how some people have no regard for others. Then I think that sometimes - a lot of the times - I fit into that category. And I don't like that.

The Soundtrack of My Life

"Thunder"
Boys Like Girls

"Beautiful Soul"
Jesse McCartney

"You and Me"
Lifehouse

"Just Can't Wait to be King"
The Lion King

"Anything"
Mae

"Without You"
The Elliot Project

"You Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher"

Audio Adrenaline

"Pink Tux to the Prom"
Relient K

"Can I Sit By You?"
Three Cord Wonder

"Mmm Bop"
Hanson

"Underdog"
Audio Adrenaline

"Social Humiliation"
Freshmen15

Go With Ka-Rip!

OBU School Yell - I find it really cool and funny. I'm super stoked!

Ka-rip Ka-rap Ka-riplo typlo tap
Oh! Oh! Rincto lincto hio-totimus
Hopula scipula copula gotimus
Chink-to-lack Chink-to-lee
Ka-willa, Ka-walla, Ka Victory
Oh! Oh! Hoogula choogula choogula can.
Ragula tagula melican man
Let'er go rip, let'er go ruse
Tingula Tangula, turn'em a-loose
Zip! Bang! OBU!


http://www.okbu.edu/news/view_article.php?id=198

I'm in Love. Fo Shizzle.

I'm in love. With Oklahoma. And Oklahoma Baptist University. And everthing that goes along with those two things.

OBU is in-cred-ible. Seriously. When Dad and I arrived at the campus on Saturday, I totally almost started crying. Then I felt toally peace-ful. And the whole time we were there, it was like, I knew, I KNEW, that that is where I'm supposed to be. It's so beautiful. All the buildings are brick and I love the fountains and the trees and...it's awe-some.

I'm so ready to be done with high school just so I can go back to OBU.

It has been officially determined that I am the world's worst navigator. Dad and I were like a mile away from where we needed to be, and we kind of knew where we were in realtion to it, but for the life of us, we could not figure out how to get there. In Oklahoma City. That's where we were.

And I've totally worn my OBU hat everyday (literally) since I got it. It covers up bad hair days quite nicely, I must say. And trust me. When you've been traveling all day, it's nice to have something to cover your hair with!

It was a super fun trip. Me and Dad.

And I had forgotten, but I'm soo proud of me and Kristina. We totally asked two guys to prom...as a group. But still. I mean, holy cow. Way more respect for guys now. It's scary.

Someone Around You... :)

I ate chocolate.

I know, I know, 2 and a half anti-chocolate years, down the drain. But I was at the Trout's house, and I didn't want to be rude. And really, the chocolate was...kind of bitter. I didn't really miss it.

I got to teach Sunday School Sunday. Ihad completely spaced, but it turned out good. Carli and two of her buddies were there, and William, Kyla, and Shannon. So it was a good group. We played games for quite a while, and I talked about how we live freely in Christ, which is something God's been teaching me lately.

Then yesterday, when Dad and I went to the Trout's for dinner, Carli and I played cards, and we "betted" using stuff, i.e. candy wrappers, Taco Bell sauces, and a moose head that holds glasses. She is so funny.

So then, this whole accident thing is lame-o. AAARGH. I'm soooo trying to trust God.

I need prayer...ASAP

Knights Sandals

Last night was really fun. I was gone from my house for over 12 hours yesterday, which was tiring, but worth it.

After work, I met Jade, Tony, Hannah, and Kristina at the Valley Hotel. We ate, and talked, and told stories, and such. It was a blast. This was the first time we had hung out with Tony out side of a school thing. And he's an interesting kid. Idecided he reminds me of Kyle, but only in the sense that when I met Kyle, almost all of his friends were females. And Tony's like that. Hannah and I were talking, and when you first look at Tony, he looks like a weird kid who plays too much video games. And, okay, that's pretty much true, but he's really nice. And knows like everyone.

So then, after dinner, we went to the school talent show. And Hannah made Tony sit in the back of her car on the way there. haha. The show was really cool, and there was one band who was really...I don't know. The way the guy sang was rather creepy. Krisitina's brother's group did pretty sweet. And I liked the 80s dance. Mostly because I'm in love with the 80s.

And now, I have to eat dinner and majorly study for U.S. Government, aka, the most boring class in the history of the world.

A Song for Today

Newsboys
"I Am Free"

Through you the blind will see
Through you the mute will sing
Through you the dead will rise
Through you our hearts will praise
Through you the darkness flees
Through you my heart screams I am free
I am free

I am free to run (I am free to run)
I am free to dance (I am free to dance)
I am free to live for you (I am free to live for you)
I am free (I am free)
Yes, I am free (I am free)

I Am Free!

I would say that I haven't posted in a while, but that would be a lie, so I won't say it.

Lunch today was invigorating. I sat with Kristina next to the "Emo" kids as we deemed them a few weeks ago. And though I always sit with Kristina, except for when she's gone, the location was new. And I suppose we were feeling rather creative as we watched this kid who just walks back and forth every day during lunch, by himself, like a loner. And yes, I suppose that is kind of a mean way to describe him, but really, it's true. I mean, he has friends, but Sarah said he likes to have people think he's weird. So anyway. He stops almost directly infront of us, stares at something on the ground for a few seconds, bends, and picks it up. He looks at it and just puts it in his pocket. Kristina and I just kind of look at him, and look at eachother and laugh. We decide that he seems really dramatic, like there should be some background music with a snare drum and a cello whenever he walks by. So, obviously, we decide to make some. And since we both have metal lunchboxes, it was deduced that they would, in fact, be perfect for a snare drum. We see this kid be about to walk by again, so Kristina prepares to play the snare drum, aka her lunch box, while I play the cello, aka, air. It was amazing. My cello was not dramatic enough, though, so we decide to switch for next time. Lo and behold, we see Sarah and Lara, and we play them an amazing rendition of the previous song. They are UTTERLY amazed, obviously. So we practice some more, and Kristina comes up with a "secret weapon" aka, scratching the inside of her lunch box where the Charlie Brown imprint is. So we perform for everyone we know that walks past, which ends up being like two other people. And we play just randomly, kind of like a soundtrack to lunch time, which I liked. We're thinking that next week, we'll get Liza and Cordelia to play along too. And Kristina might bring her tape redorder so we can make a demo. Oh the joys of lunch time!

I just called Carrs to order the cakes for the Academic Assembly, of which I am in charge of refreshments, with Liza, but I've done, like EVERYTHING for it. And holy cow. The sheet cakes are $50.99 EACH. That is a butt-load of money for a cake that says, "Sweet job, 4.0 ers!) and another one that says, "Yay for you!" So I really hope that $100 is enough money to buy icecream bars for everyone on Honor Roll, which is like 350 people. And we have to get plates and forks.

Dinner at Valley Hotel tonight in T-um...46 minutes and (not really) counting. Dinner with Hannah, Jade, Kristina, and possible Tony and Sammy. Fun, fun. Then we're going to the talent show at school, and it's Friday night, so I get to sleep in tomorrow and see Dad. Then in like 7 days and a couple of hours, I leave for Oklahoma.

Every time I touch the envelope maker, I get shocked.

We performed our dances in French today. Mine and Brittany's Indian dance was pretty sweet, I must admit. And Peppin and Charday didn't do shabby. Poor Emily and Jo, though. They messed up a few times, which helped relax me and Brittany, so okay. We had the best props ever: Donkey Kong "Indian" drums, a feather in our hair, and we had the sweetest Free Style EVER. And we got an A. (Okay, so everyone got an A. But we worked HARD for ours!)

I think there are some people who like to be drama queens, and have everyone's sympathy, and like to be the center of attention. And those people bug me. I mean, I love them with Christ's love (or, rather, I try to).

I say try, because I fail a lot. But it's super cool how He always forgives me. Like no matter how royally I screw up, He's just like, "Well, try it again. You can do it." And He's so right. His Word says so: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." -Philippians 4:13. And how righteous is that? I found a super sweet chapter in 2 Corinthians. I think it's chapter 3. It talks about how if the old law, with Moses, had glory, than how much more glorious is the new law, with CHRIST??? And at the end, it says that with the new law, there is freedom. And I started thinking about that, and how I'm really FREE. And not just from death and stuff. But I'm free from people's oppinions, because the only one that matters about me is God's. And I'm free from the world's judgement, because God judges purely. And though I don't always practice it, I'm free from worrying, because God is SOOO in control. And it was cool, because I realized that I can live life with no fears whatsoever of anything. I mean, God loves me, so why do I worry about anything? It's like, God opened my eyes, and said, "Stop worrying about everything. You're FREE. Live like you're free." So I think I'd like - I'd LOVE - to live like that.

T-26 minutes, oh 25 minutes to dinner. I'm starving.

Postcards And Polaroids

I think people deserve it. And I have a hard time sometimes with that. I'm learning, and trying.

I'm feeling...I don't know. A little overwhelmed. Kinda distraught. Happy, because I'm listening to the band "The Elliot Project" on purevolume.com and it's exciting, because I'm Elliot. According to Brad. And YOU. YOU know who YOU are. So there.

I'm hungry, and have tons to do. I think I'll make a tuna sandwhich in the Snack Master for dinner, and maybe I'll leave it out, and have one at lunch tomorrow at school. Yummy.

I deduced that now, I think I'm ready for high school to be over. I mean, I'm going to miss the building, actually, and some of the teachers, like Mme. Boyd and Mr. Bowker, and some, some, of the kids, but not all of them. And I'll miss having a locker, because in college there are no lockers. I'll miss the senior hallway, because, heck, it took me four years to get there! And I think I'll miss Robert O'Brien wanting to look at the picture of the shirtless guy in Jade's locker. And I'll miss unofficial locker races to see who can open theirs first. And I'll quite miss lunch time. "I like you!" <-- I'll miss that, too, though I suppose I can still say it. And really, I'll miss my friends. And not just Hannah, Jade, and Kristina (I'm sorry you're name is last, Kristina. It's just how I say it). But Tony, Brittany, Liza, Cordelia, all the Caitlins, Nichol, Megan Pfile (My US Government buddy), and the French class people. I'm going to miss that class a lot.

I just realized that, evidently, I'm in a reminiscent mood.

Hmm.


Summer is calling its wanting postcards and polaroids
And memories of last year, but I can't let go
So let's drive until we don't know what road signs to follow
And end up in Wisconsin in the winter time
And find our homes dressed in snow covered in white for the first time
We could be nothing less than perfect.
And winter will freeze us here and we'll never go back home
Just cover our tracks. I doubt they'll even notice. I doubt they'll even care
Silent eyes speak for silent hearts in our game of love and death
Maybe it's too late for hope to save us. But, you know that I'm a dreamer
I promise you. That I'll die trying.

-"Postcards and Polaroids" by The Elliot Project

Thunder

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do You know You're unlike any other?
You'll always be my Thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Boys Like Girls - "Thunder"

US Junior Agent 4-Ever

I. Am. Soooooo. Frustrated. And Happy. And Sad. And Annoyed. And Hopeful. And who knows what else.

This is a very interesting way to be. Sometimes, I'm amazed that I can feel so many different emotions at once.

Dinner last night at the Trout's house. I love them. Carli is so funny, and Ryne is.......interesting. Mrs. Trout and I, after dinner, scrapbooked kind of, as in we made these prayer Rolo-dex cards. I was there until Dad called at like 9:30 and said I had to go home. Awesome spaghetti. I thought MY FAMILY'S spaghetti was amazing, but there is some competition now. Their dog, Winston, like attacked me. I petted it once, and the rest of the time I was sitting on their couch, he was all over me like white on rice...haha.

I think I'm in a completely funny rock mood.

Now, like 45 minutes later...

Me and Hannah had an...interesting...discussion while Curving yesterday. I won't go into it, but wow.

I wore my dinosaur shirt today- yay! It's so exciting, and it really makes me happy. Lots of things do:

Laughing...watches...water...getting phone calls...Africa...Jesus...people at school...getting off work...Acteens...Sydni...Apple juice...giraffe stickers...reading magazines...Oklahoma in like 10 days...homemade pizza...my family...the Trouts, Roots, Gelatts, Bowkers, Middendorfs, Hoffmans, and especially the Swiharts... :) ...dreams (Mme. Boyd had a dream about me last night. I was yelling at her in it. I felt bad, though I have no control over what I do in her dreams... It was interesting, though)...snowmachining...dishwashers...my ring...no homework...though I actually have some tonight...Ding How...music...