Trick Or Treat.

It's been one week.

Really? Is that all? Only one week since I last found time to breathe and update this thing? One week? It feels like a million. Every day seems longer than the last. Every hour drags on until I don't know where the time went.

Kerr Trick or Treat is tonight. Every waking moment of the last 5 or 6 days has been spent decorating my hall, occasionally by myself, sometimes with other girls, and once with Shaun. It's so tiring trying to get it to look right. And it's frustrating that some girls don't help at all. I just want to sleep. For a long time. And that is NOT a cry for help.

Sure, it will be worth it when all the kids come and their faces are super excited. Of course it will be worth it. But right now? I'm not feeling it.

They say I'm futuristic, and that my thoughts and dreams of the future are what propel me onwards to do good work. And yet... right now... I'm not futuristic. I'm just sleepy. Two more classes, then Trick or Treat, then work for 3 hours.

Praise Jesus that I don't have science tomorrow morning. What a blessing. I can't wait until tonight, when I can happily crawl into my bed and escape into dreamland.

Speaking of dreamland, I had a weird dream last night. Part of it consisted of my parents and I and a random kid (who was my younger brother??) driving down a road here in Shawnee and stopping at a random hotel. We moved all of our stuff (like 2 bags) into the hotel room, which was at the end of a hall, across from stairs leading to the next level up, and next to a bar/dance room. The room had a bed, a mattress on the floor, and a pile of blankets. We had been evicted from our house and had to move into this hotel. It was so weird. I remember being really sad, but determined.

Oh Oh My Love.

I ate lunch with a good friend yesterday. And it was such a blessing to be able to spend time with her again after not seeing her for a while. God is preparing her for an awesome 11 months, beginning in June, and I am so excited to see what He does in and through her as she travels the world.

Funny that two of my really close friends are traveling the world now or soon, and I have no strong desire to go anywhere right now. I think I want to work at a camp this summer, in Alaska, so that I can go home and be with my friends and family. I've always wanted to. But upon some internet research, I found that like NO camps in Alaska pay their summer staff positions. Working at a camp for half the summer in Washington would be fun, too. I could see Brad and Paige and Jeff and Dayna and Ryan a lot, probably. And fly home after that. It isn't expensive to fly from Washington to Alaska.

I got another American Girl catalog in the mail today and had it in my Principles of Middle School class. All the girls in there were like, "AMERICAN GIRL!" so we passed it around and all looked at it before class started. It was really fun.

My window has a draft in it, so my room is absolutely FREEZING right now.

I talked to a friend last night, and he was really encouraging, which was nice. I like friends like him, who are just like, "Hey, it's okay. I'll come shank them if I need to." He introduced me to a band called Tunng from London. I like them. They're kind of emo/folk.

I'm so grateful for friends like that, and for friends who like music, and for friends who are just themselves. It's freeing.

Friend.

I ate lunch with a good friend today. And it was such a blessing to be able to spend time with her again after not seeing her for a while. God is preparing her for an awesome 11 months, beginning in June, and I am so excited to see what He does in and through her as she travels the world.

Funny that two of my really close friends are traveling the world now or soon, and I have no strong desire to go anywhere right now. I think I want to work at a camp this summer, in Alaska, so that I can go home and be with my friends and family.

Thoughts.

It's a journey from Christianity to Christ.
Interesting thought.

Maybe people get so caught up in Christianity that they forget about Christ. They forget about how we can't be here without Him.

I Just Want To Be Free

Back at school now. Only about a month until Thanksgiving Break, then another month until Christmas Break. Still don't know what I'm going to do for those breaks.

I'm listening to "Folk-y" music, which is fun. I'm in a kind of folk mood. I like it. But now I just changed to Vanessa Hudgens. Ha.

I got a fun piece of mail today from the nurses at the emergency room. They wrote me a card hoping that I am feeling better. That made me really happy. I mean, wow. They wrote me a get well card. Awesome. I'm going to hang it on my wall just because it makes me laugh. I checked my mail and thought it was a bill, and was like, "Great." But then it wasn't!!

I read a book over the weekend called "How Full Is Your Bucket?" and it got me thinking a lot about my attitudes and how I view life and myself…Particularly myself, which is interesting, because the book is all about relating to other people. Due to various conversations that occurred this weekend, I spent a lot of time just thinking and trying to believe God's promises in His word, but struggling with it.

I'm going to work out tonight after dinner, for the first time in… a long time… besides the Wii Fit this weekend. I'm looking forward to a nice run… on the treadmill or on the track, I'm not sure yet. It doesn't really matter.

I'm also thinking about my major, and considering double majoring in Early Childhood Education. I am a little behind in my classes right now, credit wise, meaning I have to take like 17 credits a semester to graduate on time. And adding another major will make that even more difficult. However, I can take one or two J-Term classes and maybe an on-line summer class.

Really, I can't believe I have one more year after this one. Junior? What? How? Where did the time go? I am almost done. Then what?

• Marriage? We've talked about it.
  
• Grad School? Yes please – sometime. I at least want to earn my Masters, then maybe a Doctorate so I can teach others how to teach. (I vow not to teach from a textbook.)
  
• Work? That's a must, no matter what. Student loans need to be paid back. And bills need to be paid, also. And medical bills, since I am a recently discovered klutz and all.
  

Where am I going to live? Alaska? Oklahoma? London? Baltimore? Oh, heck! So many choices! The world is open to me… so freeing, but so SCARY!

Alas. I have class. Then dinner. Then the RAWC and I have a date. Then flag football (I'm watching, not playing). Then Mission Center. Phew. I love it.

Fall Break Beckons Me Forth.

Fall Break, Fall Break, Fall Break...

It has totally been a time of learning... about who I am and how I am viewed, etc. I pretty much had a nervous breakdown, but I am okay. :) Better than okay.

I retook my Strengths Finder test, and had different themes than before. I still have Strategic, Futuristic, and Positivity. But now I am also an Activator and a Maximizer, which seems more like me than the other two I had.

My wrist is bruising and is a pleasant shade of yellow, brown, and greenish-blue. I am having an allergic reaction (pleasant, I know) to the brace, so that's awesome... ha.

Realizations about who I am:
1. I like to move and get things done.
2. I get hurt a lot...physically. My Dad and I talked about this the other day. Funny. I never thought I was that accident prone, but I totally am.
3. I would rather watch TV than play video games.

It hasn't been that rough of a semester for me so far. I have projects to do towards the end of the semester but I love my classes and think I will love the projects, too. MMMmm.... I want some dinner, then to go DO something.

Fall Festival, perhaps?

Testing 123

Falling Leaves Call To Me.

Fall...
Changing leaves that crunch under your feet as they tumble gracefully to the ground.

Crisp air that bites at your arms and ears, threatening to freeze them, but not quite successful yet... in a few weeks maybe.

Warm socks and turtlenecks.
Boat shoes and skater jeans.
Leopard-print headband.
Madeline-esque coat.

Warm caramel machiattos after eating lunch with a seemingly long-lost friend.

Talking to a professor about various things... particularly
GO ARMY BEAT NAVY.
Ha.

Fall Free Days...
-sleeping in
-Fall Festival
-carving pumpkins for the 2nd time ever
-meeting the infamous HER
-staying up late to sleep all day
-homework... bah...
-lots of down time
-plaid pants? Eh? Eh?

Mm. Love this time of year the most. Until the next season anyway.

Hard Week.

Quite the week, I'd say, since last Saturday. Typing is hard, but I'll get to that.

Friday the 10th was mine and Shaun's two year anniversary (minus the week or so that we were apart). Our date was on Saturday. I had to plan it, since it's an "even" year, which is a new rule that Shaun made up this year. Lame. Anyway, I reserved this "private campfire" which turned out to be not private at all. So instead, we went to Shawnee Lake and hung out there. And we ate dinner at IHOP. Ha. IHOP. Like iHOP. Like a frog that plays music from your iPod.

Shaun preached in church on Sunday about forgiveness, and I've been thinking about it a lot since then. That night, there was a chili cook-off at church. Shaun and I made dessert together, making it up as we went and it turned out really good. We melted peanut butter and chocolate together, rolled marshmallows in it, then rolled the marshmellows in graham cracker crumbs. So good.

Sunday night, I spent almost 4 hours hanging out on my hall, just talking to my girls about the most random stuff. They are so funny and such a blessing to me. Ridiculous how much I love them.

Monday... oh, Monday. I got a B on my science test that I took last Friday. I had a date with my boss after I got off work at 2. We talked about lots of random stuff (seems to be a theme with me) and drank coffee at Starbucks (BTW - pumpkin lattes are SO good. My favorite). I shared some of my concerns and she listened, so that was good.

Also - random - I found out that my Grandma (and whole family, actually) knows the grandmother of a girl on my hall. They've been friends for a long time.

I had a flag football game, and while hiking the ball and guarding the line, a girl plowed me over. I landed with my hands flexed all the way back, with more weight on my right wrist than my left one. It knocked the breath out of me and I couldn't move my hands. I walked off the field, unable to breathe and with my wrists in excrutiating pain, like worse than I've ever experienced physically in my life. I was shaking, couldn't hold my hands still, and my right wrist was already swelling by the time I reached the sidelines. After the game, Shaun and I went to the Emergency Room, conveniently located right across the street.

We waited for about 3 hours, then they took X-Rays. And my right wrist isn't broken, but was dislocated. It popped back in on it's own, which was good. They gave me a splint to wear, and some pain medicine. And they gave me some codeine while I was still at the hospital, and THAT was fun...

All of my muscles turned to mush when it kicked in. Shaun was rubbing my back, just laughing because there was no tension whatsoever. My words got really sloppy and I was word vomiting. And then I got really sleepy.

Today, I couldn't take very good notes in class, but I got an A on last week's Human Development exam and an A on my math exam (good thing we could use that index card on it). The RAs had dinner together at Robb's then made signs and went to the volleyball game against St. Greg's. Fun stuff.

It rained this evening. Still 80 during the day.
I want FALL.

Mission Center Blessings.

Mission Center has been such a blessing this semester. Maybe it's because I haven't been able to go as much (due to things like Biggie and my parents being here). But when I am there, it's so amazing.

I taught the kid's lesson this week about Davey and Goliath. We only had 8 kids, but we split them into two groups: The Philistines and the Israelites. Each kid had a carper square on which to sit, and when I mentioned "Philistine" or "Israelite" they cheered, depending on their team.

And I told the story really animatedly. I had the kids make facial expressions with me of anger and fear, and I showed them how tall Davey was compared to Goliath, and we talked about how we would all be scared to fight Goliath.

But then we talked about how God gave David courage, and how David knew that God would give him success, so he wasn't scared. And we talked about how God can help us beat the "giants" in our lives, like bullies on the playground and obeying our parents even when we don't want to.

It went SO well. The kids didn't pick on each other or even TALK during the lesson except in response to a question. Our craft was making shields (and we wrote Proverbs 3:5-6 on them) and they loved it, especially when I said we could put glitter on them.

And Kathleen and I hung out. I love her so much, and her sweet spirit.

I even got to see Tink for a few minutes.

Reclaiming Life.

I am in the process of restoring my iPod so that I can reload songs onto it. It is a little frustrating at times that it can't hold all my music, so I think that one day I will buy a new one. I don't think I want a touch, just because it seems like I would mess up a lot and pick one song when I wanted another. But it's not like I have an excess of money to buy a new iPod right now anyway.

One of my girls just asked me to read her spiritual journey testimony that she has to send in for a camp application. And now it has me thinking about MY spiritual journey, and particularly, the things that God is teaching me now.

I looked at my Africa scrapbook the other day, and my heart broke. Being here, so far away from my precious friends, makes it so hard for me to believe that their lives are real... but they are. Tahmee actually has AIDS. Brianna actually has a story identical to mine in so many ways. Vuyi actually cried with me in her living room. Candace actually wants to live in New York because she believes everyone is happy in America. Sofanee actually accepted Christ into his heart... he actually did... I will actually SEE him in Heaven one day.

I miss them.
Especially since reading K's updates about SAS. She just finished her two weeks in Africa. And man... I miss it. It just felt like home to me, being there, walking along the streets and being with the children. I was never scared (not even with the crazy lady). I never felt out of place. I just was. And Africa just was. And together, we were.
Ironic.

I love girls who just come into my room and talk. I love those friendships: the "Hey, can I tell you a story?" kind of ones, where they come in and sit down and are here just talking for two hours, without a single awkward silence because the conversation just flows. Those are my favorite.

God's teaching me about relationships. It's interesting. And good. I like it.

I'm learning about freedom...in life, in myself, in Christ. And I like it, too. I'm learning to Dress for Success. And that $45.00 is wasted when I skip class. So I don't skip class. Not that I ever had a problem with that. I'm learning more what it means to be a teacher and to impact people's lives. Awanas is awesome.

Especially tonight. Kelsey and Lillian and Jewels are fantastic girls. They make me feel so blessed to be where I am, doing what I do. And the other girls, too, and the guys. I have a rule where if the boys can't keep their hands to themselves, they have to hold my hand. It works well, and they get embarrassed when I make them hold my hand. Then Shaun was sad because he couldn't hold my hand. Ha. Then we held hands in the car - in MY car!!

My very own, 4-door 1992 Ford Escort with Oregon (soon to be ALASKAN) license plates. And I have my very own OBU parking sticker, and a support our troops ribbon. And my mom gave me two Breast Cancer Awareness rubber duckies, and my Dad gave me a cassette to put in my radio that plays my iPod through it. I'm rolling G. :) I drove to WalMart today. In MY car. And I might go back on Saturday.

The thing is, that now that I have a car, I have this burning desire to drive to like Louisiana or Florida or New Mexico just because I can. And I know that I can't... but I can at the same time! It takes a lot of self-control to not just get in my car and drive. The whole having responsibilities thing helps a lot.

I also really want to buy an American Girl Doll. The doll of the year, in fact, Mya, because I think she looks a lot like me. And I want to get Molly a new head. Her hair is missing because I brushed it too much growing up.

Shaun and I celebrate our two year anniversary this week, on Friday. Our date is scheduled for Saturday. And we decided that I would plan every even anniversary date and he would plan all the odd year anniversary dates. Thus, I am in charge of this one. And I have one idea so far... that will cost a LOT of money, so that's no good. And no, it does not involve driving to a random state. But it does involve a Ferris Wheel... kind of. Potentially.

I'm in a mellow music mood, so I am listening to Joe Purdy right now. I'm not sure if I have a mellow soul... I don't think I do. I like hardcore pop music (if pop music can BE hardcore) too much. Maybe I have a pop soul.
What are the requirements for a mellow soul? I'll ask Sarah. She has a mellow soul, and she could give me some guidance, I think.

Tomorrow will be busy. But alas. That's my life on Thursdays. I really want to sleep, since it's past midnight and I have two exams tomorrow. But I told a girl I would be up late, and she isn't back yet, so I should stay up. Ha, but ironic, since RA training yesterday was about setting boundaries. Ha.

And I'm reclaiming my New Year's Resolution. I like it.

Family Love.

It was nice having Mom and Dad in town. I got to show them part of my life here. They came to a flag football game, and we won, and they cheered me on and yelled at the dumb refs. It was great.

I've been re-reading the Twilight books, and they still suck me in, even though I've read them before. It's nice, however, to remember that the love that God has for me is even greater than the love that Edward and Bella have for each other. Another difference: God's love for me is actually REAL. And I can see it in my life.

And I'm really quite okay with leaving this post like that.

New Month.

Well, it is October. The first day of a new month.

Hm. Interesting how quickly this year is flying by. Time doesn't slow down, especially when you really want it to.

Lots to do still today. Maybe I should do them instead of blogging.